On the subway yesterday afternoon:
“Folks, we’ve found out what the cause of the delay is. Apparently there’s a goose on the tracks at Royal York. Yes, that’s “goose” as in the bird. One single goose stopped our entire train network moving west. Now, I understand that we have repair crews on the scene trying to make the goose leave, and although they aren’t trained animal handlers I expect they’ll be able to get rid of the single, solitary goose putting a subway system worth hundreds of millions of dollars into shutdown. If the goose lays any golden eggs, rest assured we will let you know. Presumably, they will affect our next contract negotiation.”
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11 users responded in this post
Possibly the single best-educated subway driver ever.
Also: closing tags is good.
don’t get near it! it will spread it’s wings and hiss at you!
The train I use to get to Chicago from Indiana (the South Shore) shares tracks with Chicago’s train system (the Metra), and we’re always getting announcements about how the Metra guys are slowing us down. “We apologize for the delay folks. When the Metra train in front of us tore down the electrical line, their technicians left their tools on the tracks. We’re currently waiting for them to come move them so we can continue.” They’re always really snide about it too.
No geese though.
I was late to work today because some guy hit a deer on the highway.
At Finch and 400.
WTF is a deer doing there?
I had a dream/nightmare last night in which a subway train killed six people inside a yellow Beetle. For real. SIX PEOPLE INSIDE A BEETLE.
Anyway, I guess it wasn’t at Toronto, or the driver would have stopped.
Geese are pretty vicious. I could understand how a crew of untrained animal handlers would fail to get it to move, or really even get close.
Mynd you, gøøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…
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Better a goose than a couch on the tracks.
*snickers*
Yeah, you people beat me to the Monty Python jokes.
He hasn’t yet read the updated Handbook, which clearly states that “goose on the tracks” is the new code phrase for another suicide by train.