Hoo boy.
See, nowadays the kids, they make fun of Penance or Red Hulk when they want to make fun of stupid superhero character concepts. But back in the day? We had the Red Bee.
The Red Bee, a superhero whose power was that he had trained bees. Really. That was it. I know, I know, it sounds awfully dismissive to mock this guy with his bees; after all, the idea of training bees is by itself rather impressive, when you think about it. Somehow, the Red Bee can control whole swarms of bees! That is, in a low-key way, really rather impressive. I mean, Granny Weatherwax had to work her way up to doing that.
(Well, presumably he could control whole swarms of bees. The question of how he controlled the bees is as yet unresolved. Even Who’s Who seems willing to concede that it is possible and even likely that the Red Bee did not in fact have any bee-control powers per se, but instead was just a guy running around with a lot of bees.)
However, the problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey magnate, as superhero powers go it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? If you are the Red Bee, twenty feet away from some gangster when he pulls out a gun, and you pull out your swarm of bees, the gangster can just shoot you and then the bees will presumably go find something more interesting to do with their time than sting the gangster to death. Because they are bees. They will establish a hive somewhere and then begin pollinating flowers. Because that is what bees do.
(And again, we do not know that he controlled the bees as such. But come to think, even if he controls the bees, where does he keep the bees? A swarm of bees is not exactly compact unless you cram them all into a little box and crush/smother them to death. And in the few Red Bee appearances I have read, he kept multiple swarms of bees on his person. Then again, maybe he just throws clumps of dead bees at people and hopes that they panic and scream “OH MY GOD BEES” and don’t notice that the bees are dead.)
Now, in fairness, the Red Bee always gave a good accounting of himself, right up until he got killed. Like, in All-Star Squadron, he joined Uncle Sam’s reformed Freedom Fighters and journeyed to Earth-X (the fabled Alternate Earth Full Of Nazis), where he fought Nazis with bees! Until some Nazis shot him. Of course, that was pre-Crisis. Post-Crisis, we don’t know what happened to the Red Bee, although in a James Robinson Starman story the ghost of the Red Bee revealed that he got his ass kicked and presumably killed by gangsters, possibly after he fought them with bees. James Robinson also wrote The Golden Age, wherein the Red Bee gets killed in one panel by the bad guy. (No idea if he fought that bad guy with bees.) This makes James Robinson notable for managing to kill the Red Bee twice. Even Roy Thomas never did that, and Roy Thomas was Geoff Johns before Geoff Johns was Geoff Johns.
(Hey, I just noticed that the Red Bee is a district attorney in “Superior City.” Man, in the DC Universe, what the hell kind of city calls itself “Superior City?” You’ve just got to believe that it’s, like, the DCU equivalent of Newark or Toledo or something, a smallish-to-middle city with Big Hopes And Big Plans For The Future. You want to go to the home of the state’s second-largest bottling plant? Superior City! Where do you think half the nation gets their shoelaces from? Superior City! It’s a good place for families and for people on the go! Superior City: Better Than Ever, Every Single Day!)
I dunno. On the one hand, the Red Bee definitely deserves a low rating; I mean, the costume alone (horizontally-striped tights? Pirate-shirt sleeves? Pink and black and red?) should merit close to a zero. And then there’s the whole “bee” thing. But on the other hand, he’s just so completely and utterly insane that it’s almost admirable. This is a guy who decided to fight crime with bees. The “new” Red Bee that they introduced last year is just your typical mutated insect/human crossbreed, boring as sin. That’s not a Red Bee anybody wants to read about; people want to read about the classic Red Bee, just because – fuck, if a writer can come up with a reason that makes sense for the Red Bee’s existence, that would be like pulling Excalibur from the stone, you know?
Grant Morrison can revamp Batman all he likes, but he’s not going anywhere near the Red Bee. And that deserves a little something extra.
Incidentally, in that James Robinson story, the ghost of the Red Bee was all depressed because he was a loser and a lousy superhero, so the other dead ghost heroes all said “no, you tried your best and we think you’re great for that.” You just know they were snickering into their gloves when they said that.
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You just KNOW that these are the best days to bee on this blog. Ouch.
That stung almost as much as Ulysses the Unicorn:
http://fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/tiny-treasure-hunt-stus-new-game/
Good luck to all.
No, no, we should definitely let Grant Morrison take a crack at The Red Bee. You see, in certain Vedic traditions, bees and honey were symbols of sexual potency and desire.
Grant would love this guy.
Didn’t he show up in that prison riot story from the JLA that Morrison wrote? He stole Green Lantern’s ring? Or was that someone else?
Adam, that was the Red Dart. Who might have been created for the prison break story, I don’t know.
Red Bee actually kept the bees in his belt buckle. I’m sure you think, “hey, that’s not enough room for a swarm of deadly, crime-stopping bees,” and no, it is not. See, bee-training must be super intensive, for the Red Bee only had two trained bees. Just two. So, if they stung, say two criminals, or one criminal twice, he would have to go find two more bees to train.
Grant Morrison did use Red Bee once, in Animal Man. Buddy met him while traveling through the wastelands of Limbo, where comic book characters go to be forgot. He conned Buddy out of his stylish jacket, and was kind of a dick.
A decedent of the Red Bee showed up in one of the recent Freedom Fighters mini-series. She had powered armor, and later, was impregnated by bee aliens or something and turned red and half-bee. Maybe. I kinda stopped reading around then.
Two points:
1) Grant Morrison also mentioned the Red Bee in one of his JLA stories–I forget which, but they were fighting, like, three supervillains at once (because it was Grant Morrison’s JLA, in which there are always at least three supervillains to fight simultaneously), one of whom was the Queen Bee. Plastic Man, as it turned out, had done time with the Red Bee in prison, and had picked up a few facts about bees from the guy, one of which is that they can’t see the color red, apparently. So they just covered themselves in red paint or something and proceeded to punch her lights out.
2) If the guy used bees to fight Nazis, one can only wonder how he would have fared against the Swarm:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swarm_(comics)
The Red Bee’s bees are kept in his belt buckle. But in that picture…his belt has no buckle! Mysterious…amazing…weird.
A man who fought crime with puffy translucent pink sleeves, striped clown tights, and a belt full of bees is a fascinating man indeed.
I would kill for the chance to make this guy into the hero of his own comic. And it would have to be without cheating. No “bee-human hybrid” crap, no powered armor, just a dude in a fey costume and an army of killer bees. Hells to the yeah.
I wonder if Superior City was actually supposed to be on Lake Superior. Hadn’t thought of that before.
Grant Morrison can revamp Batman all he likes, but he’s not going anywhere near the Red Bee.
Actually, Grant Morrison was involved with the recent revamp of Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters. Which included a new Red Bee. IIRC, the new red bee was a woman, and she wore a high-tech battlesuit that looked like a bee and she controlled a swarm of robot bees. So, yeah, I suspect that Morrison got somewhere near the Red Bee, if only to throw the concept of “swarm of robot bees” into the mix.
(I don’t know of this “new” Red Bee who is an insect/human hybrid – who came up with that?)
I think Metal Gear Solid 3 proved how cool controling an army of bees (technically hornets according to Wikipedia) can be.
And we must never forget the immortal words of Batman when he said “A deadly bee weapon. Bees. My god.”
I just read this guy’s Wikipedia entry. That’s some funny stuff.
“His favorite bee is named Michael and lives inside his belt buckle for use in special circumstances; the feature’s writer was presumably unaware that male bees do not sting at all.”
The Red Bee is GLORIOUS, and I agree with EWHPTIV that he MUST fight Swarm at some point.
Even though he’d be a little screwed.
@EWHPTIV: Actually, Plas and RB spent time together in the nuthouse. Because using bees to fight crime, that’s just CRAZY!
Or sell it to Hollywood. “DA Rick Raleigh is in big trouble when he’s assigned to prosecute the Red Bee after a criminal dies of a bee-sting allergy! I’s like Daredevil meets Law and Order! WITH BEES!!”
Like, in All-Star Squadron, he joined Uncle Sam’s reformed Freedom Fighters and journeyed to Earth-X (the fabled Alternate Earth Full Of Nazis), where he fought Nazis with bees! Until some Nazis shot him.
That’s not how he died, though; he was missing after a shell hit the area where the Freedom Fighters were. Then later he showed up again when Baron Blitzkrieg had them all chained up, and fought Baron Blitzkrieg one-on-one. And basically got folded in half.
My ex-wife thought I made the Red Bee up when I tried explaining him to her. I could be bitter and say something about fundamental lack of trust, but then again, it’s the Red Bee.
“Adam, that was the Red Dart. Who might have been created for the prison break story, I don’t know.”
The Red Dart originated as a Green Arrow villain, of the “I’m a hero just like you oh wait your back is turned I was a villain all along haha” variety.
“Then again, maybe he just throws clumps of dead bees at people and hopes that they panic and scream ‘OH MY GOD BEES’ and don’t notice that the bees are dead.”
Now I have an image of Red Bee in my head babbling incoherently whilst flinging dead bees at passerbys, much like the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons.
And for that, I thank you.
Growing up, I ended up with a single issue of the All Star Squadron which featured Red Bee and the Freedom Fighters taking on Baron Blitzkrieg. During the fight, one of his teammates has a thought bubble where she feels pity because he’s got such a lame gimmick. You know, when the characters start pointing out problems…
He likes his women like he likes his coffee…covered in bees!
I used to work for Red Bee. It’s what my division of the BBC turned its name to. I quit that week.
Jer:
“Actually, Grant Morrison was involved with the recent revamp of Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters. Which included a new Red Bee. IIRC, the new red bee was a woman, and she wore a high-tech battlesuit that looked like a bee and she controlled a swarm of robot bees. So, yeah, I suspect that Morrison got somewhere near the Red Bee, if only to throw the concept of “swarm of robot bees” into the mix.
(I don’t know of this “new” Red Bee who is an insect/human hybrid – who came up with that?)”
Those two female Red Bee characers ARE THE SAME CHARACTER.
Clearly, he kept his bees in those giant poofy sleeves.
In the Tick Universe, there are two heroines who use bees as crimefighting weapons effectively (well, effectively for the Tick Universe). The Bummbling Bee and the Golden Age Queen Hornet.
Also, you should differentiate between the two grant Morrisons. The first was the one who wrote Animal Man and was killed in Suicide Squad #58. The second is the one who currently writes for DC.
“He follows in his father’s footsteps, and his father’s footsteps went: ‘AAAAAAHHHHHHH! I’m covered in bees!'”
Actually, as long as there wasn’t a huge amount of bees, keeping them in his belt would kind of work. Well, not with the belt he’s wearing, but a thicker, bulkier belt. Also, he wouldn’t be able to be too active, as that would piss the bees off:
“Stop, villain! Let go of that woman, or feel the wrath of my bees!”
*Opens buckle*
“Ow, shit! Go back in the belt, back in the belt!”
Yeah, I really think Red Bee is more or less the bottom of the barrel as far as comic characters go. You’d need to make them wasps for him be at all anything even close to effective.
I agree with the 37% solely on the strength of his Starman appearance. But that was at a dinner party and he was already dead so the issue of how lame a character he was wasn’t too important. (AFAIK, it was an entire dinner party of lame super-heroes hosted by Starman’s lame-ass older brother who got himself killed first day out).
Ooh. That is pretty pathetic. Swarm-the-Nazi-made-of-bees absolutely cannot be taken seriously (because Nazi made of bees), but somehow manages to loop around and become obscenely awesome (he’s a Nazi made of bees. If he was merely an agent of A.I.M. who’s made of bees, it wouldn’t work). And he’s like millions of them, he could just envelop you and you’d either fry from the heat or be stung to death. The Red Bee, on the other hand…
This guy keeps bees in his belt, and it can’t be that many if he’s not even drawn with a cloud of them orbiting him. Insect control’s not all that bad a power if it’s used creatively, but it always sounds silly. Ant-Man impressed me when he made ants grow giant and sicced them on a villain. Otherwise, if you’re a healthy human, it sounds absurd.
“Was you ever bit by a red bee?”
Also, Superior is in Wisconsin. It sounds quite nice. Worryingly, though, its civic tagline is “living up to our name”.
Caleb of Every Day is Like Wednesday loves himself some Red Bee, incidentally.
Man, this is so much better than the last time someone made fun of the Red Bee.
To get to the right wiki, put _(comics) at the end, because EWHPTIV’s link has a picture of fish.
You can say what you want about the Red Bee, but at least he got several excellent Lou Fine covers all to himself: can Superman or Batman say that?
The problem the poor old Red Bee has in the DC universe is that he’s a Quality character and DC has never known what to do with the characters it bought over the years.
[…] MightygodKing delivers the goods in an entertaining bio: “The problem is that while controlling swarms of bees might make you a great behavioral scientist or perhaps an up-and-coming honey magnate, as superhero powers go it is not the most impressive trick one can get, is it? If you are the Red Bee, twenty feet away from some gangster when he pulls out a gun, and you pull out your swarm of bees, the gangster can just shoot you and then the bees will presumably go find something more interesting to do with their time than sting the gangster to death. Because they are bees. They will establish a hive somewhere and then begin pollinating flowers. Because that is what bees do. […]
I would assume the Red Bee controls bees telepathically, the same way Aquaman controls fish.
“….fuck, if a writer can come up with a reason that makes sense for the Red Bee’s existence, that would be like pulling Excalibur from the stone, you know?
Grant Morrison can revamp Batman all he likes, but he’s not going anywhere near the Red Bee. And that deserves a little something extra.”
I’ve always liked a good writing challenge. 😀
How about this:
Richard Raleigh is a graduate student at Superior City University (World-renowned for its excellent Behavioral Sciences department!), where he does research on the behavior of social insects. Now, over the years, Richard’s come to notice that he has an ability of sorts, to influence other people’s thinking. If he gets in an argument – he’ll almost always win, and any bystanders are sure to take his side. If he has a crush on a girl, and he’s thinking of asking her out – she’ll ask him first, even if they’ve never talked before. Stuff like that.
Richard always chalked his “ability” up to natural charisma, but the truth is, he’s actually a (low-grade) telepath. He can’t focus his powers very well, so they tend to affect groups more often than individuals, and he can’t really “make” people do anything – only influence their feelings or impulses somewhat. Animals, however, are an entirely different matter – especially ones that are already fairly simple-minded, and used to groupthink.
Richard becomes aware his powers while collecting data for his thesis, when he gets an colony of bees to abandon their hive in a privately owned forest, and relocate to a spot on the university campus – right next to his lab. The decision to fight crime with his ability is far from immediate; truth to be told, he’s kind of freaked out at first. (And come on, wouldn’t you be a bit upset if you found out that your ~EPIC MOJO~ was actually just mind control?) Realizing that his ability puts a fatal compromise in his research, he abandons his degree, and begins training as a police officer, hoping to use his powers to calm riots and mobs.
The bees, however, have different ideas. What Richard still doesn’t know about his power is that it’s a two-way thing – and by influencing the hive, he’s inextricably linked their mind with his own. What he thinks, they do – and where he goes, they go. It’s not just the one hive, either. Richard finds himself unintentionally linking to dozens of swarms -and all of them seem hellbent on protecting their new “mind”. Being surrounded by a massive cloud of highly aggressive bees tends to put a damper on one’s attempts to instill calm, so Richard is forced to leave his police training, and go out in search of someone who can help him control his powers. Eventually, he enlists with a small-scale hero team somewhere* – the Milwaukee Justice League, or something – and there’s your setup.
By no means is it an A-list idea, but it could certainly work as a D-lister or an indie. And who knows? If one of the “big names” ever end up fighting some kind of hive-mind aliens or something, I could see him making an appearance. 🙂 It’s still pretty silly, to be sure, but at least now it’s silly in a suspension-of-disbelief comic book way, rather than a how-the-hell-was-this-ever-published way.
*This would be the point where he adopts a costume, and starts calling himself “Red Bee” (or something along those lines). I’m picturing the costume as something like a modified beekeeper’s suit, in red or with red markings, so he can be seen through the swarm. There would probably be a Kevlar vest underneath, and he’d carry a gun too, just in case – the bees are helpful, to an extent, but he certainly wouldn’t rely on them for full protection. Actually, I can kind of see him being a bit of a detective-type character – like Batman, but with bees.
Meh, I could take him.