Now let us NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN.
I am totally with you on the Hawkman thing.Why anybody keeps trying to save that character is beyond me.
Poor Hawkman. My childhood crushes on Aquaman and Hawkman have brought me nothing but shame in my adulthood. It’s hard loving a loser.
@Cookie You’re telling me! I had a childhood crush of Sailor Mercury, the lamest of the lame.
Hawkman can be saved. Having said that, it would be more of a challenge than a real need to keep him around.
@Cespinarve what is your effing problem with sailor mercury
ps: great chart, except catwoman was not bad at all
What are you talking about? Fans loved Sailor Mercury. She was the only character to get her own one-hour special.
Ugh, I can’t believe you just made me Wikipedia a Sailor Moon person. Nowhere on Sailor Mercury’s Wikipedia page does it say, “At best, this character is popularly considered to be laughable and useless; at worst, fuck her. Just fuck her. Why is this even a thing?” No, she’s the SMART Sailor person, and she wasn’t even Sailor Uranus where you know everyone’s kind of giggling when they say her name because come on. If you’re too grown-up to laugh at Uranus, you don’t have a soul.
@Tales to Enrage
I can’t see a way to “save” Hawkman short of completely re-creating the character, and at that point why bother calling him Hawkman?
That’s why I say it would be a challenge. It would be about proving you can write a good Hawkman story while keeping some of his original traits, and actually making those traits both visible and make sense for his personality/situation. In other words, the main reason to do it wouldn’t be “Hawkman is awesome, I must rehabilitate him,” but “I don’t care either way about Hawkman, but don’t you want to see me do something this cool with a character you like?”
…how many Batman derived comics ARE there now?
It’s looking like he’s the new Wolverine!
I don’t have a problem with Sailor Mercury, like i said, CRUSH. But of all the Sailor Scouts to have in a fight, she’s the least effective, all her powers are, well, lame. That I can recall. It was always just waiting for MArs or Jupiter to show up and save the day.
But not Venus. BEcause fuck Venus, that’s why.
Did you actually see something good about Red Hood and the Outlaws, or did you just not want to overprint Hawkman?
“Superman” as not a good intro comic; is there anyone who needs it to? It’s not like he’s Blue/Red and has Reddy Killowatt’s powers.
Worth it just for the Hawkman jokes.
“because fuck Hawkman, that’s why”
That alone makes this the best thing I’ve read all week.
Yeah, but then she turned evil in the live action version and got to kick everyone’s collective ass.
If you don’t like this version of Hawkman just wait a couple of months and DC will offer you a brand new one.
Or maybe they could just bring Zauriel back.
The only “Nu” DC title I picked up was All-Star Western, so I’m pretty happy.
I sort of love the fact that even Hawkman himself doesn’t want to be Hawkman. That is how much he sucks.
Why is Wonder Woman up so high?
I’d guess it’s because it’s a baffling comic storywise, but the writing itself and the art are of good quality.
So wait, Legion Lost is totally ripping off the title card of each episode of LOST? Do they fight a giant smoke monster and answer every question with “It’s complicated”?
“Why is Wonder Woman up so high?”
IMHO Hawkman needs to be replaced by a team up of Streaky the Supercat and Dex-Starr the Rage Kitty. And I don’t mean the comic should be replaced by it, I mean that retroactively, all events that once involved Hawkman that had any impact upon other comics, characters or canon are now ultimately Streaky and Dex-Starr’s fault now, as it turns out Katar Hol/Carter Hall/Fel Andar/”hawkman” were all in fact names given to the “humanoid” disguise that Streaky & Dex-Starr adopt by having Streaky balancing on Dex-Starr’s shoulders and the two of them wear a heavy long coat and wide brimmed hat over the both of them.
So Streaky and Dex-Starr were inadvertantly made members of the Thanagarian space police for a while after accidentally killing and eating one the edible alien birdie people who turned out to be a wanted thanagarian fugitive. Of course a few years later, due to an odd clerical error, the Thanagarians later ended up hiring them to work as what they thought were double agents, but in actual fact Streaky and Dex-Starr were triple agents who sent misinformation about the Justice League back to Thanagar, before they got into a fight with their handler and ended up back in time, where Streaky may have nudged the moon slightly out of orbit and thus given the ancient egyptians this silly notion that some “hawkman” character was forever soul bonded to Hawkwoman (who still exists in canon) and destined to be her husband in all their “many” incarnations (which obviously has caused no end of grief for Hawkwoman incarnations over the years).
Plus on top of that, you can have them tootling around the space bits of the DC Universe, introducing various bits of background colour/setting and getting into scraps/teaming up with the green and other lantern corps while Dex-Starr adorably vomits over everything just like a regular cat. It’d be like the various outer spacey GL comics of the 70s and 80s, only with toyetic cats fucking around with Hawkman continuity instead of Guy Gardner being an angry twat.
I don’t really know who most of these comics are. Resurrection man? I guess he’s a guy that resurrects? I, Vampire, is it like I, Robot but with vampires? Static Shock is like, about carpets. Whenever I see Swamp Thing, I can only think of the theme song to that show. There’s only one Flash book? Oh, hey, the Suicide Squad, weren’t they in Monty Python?
And what’s wrong with Hawkman? He’s a man, that’s also a hawk!
Well, nice to know MGK thinks All Star Western is good. Jimmy and Justin’s Jonah Hex is just about the only thing I loved about the old DCU that wasn’t completely destroyed to make way for the new DCU. Shame about the price hike, though; so much for holding the line at $2.99.
I’m a being so hard on the Legion books. I mean, I haven’t actually read them and I’m still baffled by they way the LoSH somehow avoids a linewide reboot but I would have at least figured you could count on Fabian for a good comic (though probably not a good first issue).
Also … Flash was GOOD? The Wally West-deficient series written by the artist from that Beast Legends show on that network that forgot how to spell its own name? Wow, did NOT see that coming.
Finally a Hawkman retcon I can get behind.
Given the absurd number of Hawkman reboots, it’s amazing how few try to change the formula from ‘Angry Guy with Wings and Medieval weapons’.
I kind of liked JLU’s take with Hawkgirl and that her medieval weapons did CRUEL BRUTAL DAMAGE on par with Superman, AND did Slaying crits to Cthulhu.
I think that’s the only time I remember a Hawk* weapons actually doing anything.
I guess in the new comic his N-Metal weapon changes shape: I think it’s a mace in one panel and an axe in another. So it’s kind of like that animated Trek ‘Slaver Weapon’, only instead of changing into phasers and WMDs and turn-off-everything rays it changes from one medieval weapon to another.
Yeah. No matter what you do with it, ‘Angry SCA Nerd with Wings’ conceptually doesn’t have a lot going for it, even if you throw in bizarre nonsensical Egypt crap or an entire race of Nazi Heavy Fighters with wings.
It could be worse: they could have gone with Hawkman being the ‘designated conservative’ to Green Arrow’s ‘designated liberal’, and made him a tea party dude/Ayn Rand libertarian. I don’t think anyone’s done a superhero who didn’t believe in the common good before.
So what’s worse, Sailor Mercury who is a smart girl who possibly can’t make a fist (I only skimmed the Wikipedia, because it felt kind of dirty to be 35 and looking at manga girls in short skirts at work, so I’m just guessing), or Hawkman who is a caveman who flies? And poor Aquaman, who appears to be the only person on the planet other than me who thinks orange and green totally go together?
They had FIXED Hawkman back with the Johns/Robinson series. Why would they have ever went away from that take? It’s Johns’ #2 or #3 accomplishment in comics, just from the high level of difficulty (making JSA a best seller and making GL the highest selling DC books would be the others)
Sailor Mercury was awesome! Sure you’d call Jupiter and Mars if you want the bad guy punched in the face (and electrocuted … and set on fire) and Moon was a walking plot device but Mercury was the only one that had functioning brain cells.
But fuck Venus.
There are the four main Batman books (Detective, Dark Knight, Batman, Batman and Robin. He’s in both Jusice League and Justice League International (and plays a bigger part in Justice League Dark’s first issue than Deadman or Constantine). His protoges are in Nightwing, Batgirl, Batwoman (cameo), Batwing (cameo), Teen Titans, Red Hood and the Outlaws, Catwoman (coitus cameo). I don’t think you can call Birds of Prey a ‘bat’ title, since neither Huntress nor Babs are members (at the moment). All Star Western is currently in Gotham, with Jonah Hex running around with Dr. Arkham, plus some name dropping from the Gates of Gotham mini (Mayor Cobblepot, the Gates Brothers, etc).
As for tenous links, Stormwatch has Midnighter, who was their twist on the idea of Batman. Wayne’s company is name dropped by his competitors, Mr. Terrific and Green Arrow. Oh, and Harley Quinn is running around with the Suicide Squad.
But, even without the more tenuous connections, Batman and his family are about a quarter of the new 52 (and Huntress is getting a mini starting in October).
Even the GLs are keeping a low profile relative to Bats. They have 4 books (well, one is RL, but Lanterns in general), a member in the two non-dark leagues, and a set-up for some cross overs with Blue Beetle.
Ayn Rand Superhero? That would be Rorschach.
Sure, he was a bit whacky, but he was pretty much about personal responsibility, and sort of just approached his ‘crime fighting’ as dishing out that personal responsibility. And he did tend to have extremely conservative ideals and a vast distrust of government, etc.
I’m a fan of Hawkman (written properly he’s a great character, but too many writers have been mistaken when they thought they had a clue how to write him properly), but I still found the “Because fuck Hawkman” thing on the chart hilarious.
[…] Link: MightyGodKing’s DC New 52 rating chart […]
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
"[O]ne of the funniest bloggers on the planet... I only wish he updated more." -- Popcrunch.com
"By MightyGodKing, we mean sexiest blog in western civilization." -- Jenn
Subscribe in a reader