Delivered to my inbox by virtuous elves, acting in secret: Gemstone have signed “new, hot talent,” to take over on Donald Duck and Friends with issue #375, and I am pleased to have the chance to present to you two pages from the issue. My source refused to name the new writer, but I have a definite hunch as regards his identity. It’s certainly a radical, daring shift for a Disney property, but I honestly think this new approach will bring in an as-yet untapped crossover market.
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I feel like I should be able to pinpoint the voice here, but I just can’t.
On the other hand, I haven’t had any coffee yet.
I’m the goddamn Donald Duck?
Well, nobody said “Do you really think…”, so I know it’s not Mark Millar.
If he were really going to write it, at least three of those children would have died gruesome on-panel deaths from kerosene soaked candy.
Geez, and here I thought the kids’ dialogue would make it painfully obvious.
Is he the @#$%^%$ Donald Duck?
“Gander don’t shiv.” That’s all I needed. (And honestly, even before reading the page, he was the first person to pop into mind.)
Oh, gawd, I remember this original comic, too.
Uncle Scrooge > Gladstone Gander, though.
Warren Ellis?
I know what’s throwing everybody off on the new writer.
It needs more Whores.
Also, I never before realized how deeply disturbing it is that they do indeed sell eggs in Duckburg.
It’s like buying children. That you EAT.
No Merkel?
Gladstone in the sixth panel is just perfect.
Haven’t read too many of his books to be completely sure, but…Garth Ennis?
….the shiv line is a big clue.
It wouldn’t be funny if he just came out and said “I’m the #@$#@#@$ Duck, welcome to Hell.” Subtlety, cats – it’s the name of this game.
No matter what you’re parodying, this is just out and out hilarious.
Oh, Frank Miller?
That would explain it. I can rarely make it all the way through anything he’s written.
You nearly made me spit orange juice all over my screen and keyboard.
Well done, sir, well done.
For me, it was the internal monologues that let me identify the parody. Internal monologues that sound like one-way conversations with a specific person are one of Miller’s most distinct writing traits. Helps give them their hard-boiled feel.
Apparently on the third page Donald saves Daisy from Gander’s thugs, and they get quacking on a pier.
really feels like Frank Miller, but I’m not positive. “Gander don’t shiv” gives me that DKR-made-up-slang vibe.
You win the internet.
Damn. I am still asleep at this unholy hout, I never even saw wat site was this, took it for granted it was Newsarama or whatever. Would you believe I got to the last panel of the first page before I actually realized this wasn’t for real?
…and yes, I’m too sleepy to spell right. Months ago it was changing keyboard that did it to me; now, it’s just being awake before noon. So sue me.
Gladstone really is a completely unlikable son-of-a-goose.