Comments on: I Have A Theory.

By: Bill Reed

Bill Reed — Sun, 11 May 2008 20:58:02 +0000

I disagree. I drink from juiceboxes all the time, and I’m fucking awesome.

Ecto Cooler, man. Ecto Cooler.

Any liquid is better in box form.

By: Robin

Robin — Sun, 11 May 2008 13:15:56 +0000

I know this is a minor tangent, but I think the argument that tetrapaks are more environmentally friendly than glass or plastic is a bit flawed. Yes, they are lighter, but they are damned near impossible to recycle.

The funny still stands, though.

By: acabaca

acabaca — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:09:37 +0000

Well this is the second weirdest hangup I’ve seen.

By: AT

AT — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:33:03 +0000

Your post title has me singing.
“It could be bunnies…”
(Though I must acknowledge my awareness that the lyrics are “I’ve got a theory”, not “I have a theory”. Thought association.)

I’m curious about what inspired this post.

By: Evan

Evan — Tue, 06 May 2008 23:15:01 +0000

No power on Earth or beyond can make Lloyd Dobler not sexy.

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:52:50 +0000

B) Make them bigger.
C) Abandon the straw. Just rip the corner off and drink.

I agree, basically this turns them into milk cartons.

By: Joanna S.

Joanna S. — Tue, 06 May 2008 21:34:11 +0000

Lloyd Dobler is NEVER not sexy. The minute I see a photo of Cusack from that movie my naughty bits quiver. It’s a force unlike any other (yes, including THAT one).

By: Will

Will — Tue, 06 May 2008 21:23:10 +0000

I see you wussed out and failed to subject juice boxes to the ultimate test of putting one in the hands of Christian Bale.

Chicken.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 06 May 2008 17:24:07 +0000

Lloyd is even sexier now, as his sexiness always relied upon being utterly, irredeemably and unapologetically un-cool.

I put it to you thusly – can you seriously argue to me that Lloyd standing outside whatserface’s window holding his boombox blasting “In Your Eyes” would look any more ridiculous were he also holding a box of Mott’s All-Natural? I submit that he would not.

By: NCallahan

NCallahan — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:09:27 +0000

“A) Abandon the primary color scheme for metallics.
B) Make them bigger.
C) Abandon the straw. Just rip the corner off and drink.”

Man, whatever happened to Boku? I liked that stuff.

By: Bianca

Bianca — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:41:21 +0000

John Cusack makes juice boxes hot by association. Sorry.

By: malakim2099

malakim2099 — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:36:52 +0000

You know, if you had just shown Cusack with the juice box… I wouldn’t have thought it was photoshopped.

He probably has a fridge full of juice boxes at home.

By: SmR

SmR — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:44:07 +0000

So, are you trying to say that you drink from juiceboxes? Because that’s where I thought this was going.

(That wasn’t meant as an insult. This just reminded me of a post you wrote a little while ago about Spaghettio’s or ketchup-flavored pasta or something.)

By: karellan

karellan — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:26:26 +0000

“B) Make them bigger.”

This is actually the main reason I stopped drinking from them, regardless of how “kiddie” they are. Once I hit my teens, I could slug one down in about a swallow or two. That’s just not going to cut it.

By: Chris Lowrance

Chris Lowrance — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:21:55 +0000

I think the juicebox can be made to look cooler, and therefore ease the transition.

A) Abandon the primary color scheme for metallics.
B) Make them bigger.
C) Abandon the straw. Just rip the corner off and drink.

Also, how does this theory apply to those silver bags Capri-Sun comes in?