WHEN WILL I LEARN, OH LORD
On the rare occasions I eat at McDonald’s, I almost always get the same thing: two regular hamburgers and a medium fries.
It’s what I like at McDonald’s. The bigger hamburgers, I have discovered, after much consumption thereof and time spent actually tasting the food, are nasty and I do not like them. And large is just too much fries. (Note, of course, that I refer to Canadian portions, which are all about a size down when compared to American portions. The last time I was in an American McDonald’s, I ordered a medium Diet Coke and got this frigging vat of pop.)
On very rare occasions, when it is available, I will indulge in a McRib. However, since Loblaws introduced the President’s Choice BBQ Riblet (cheaper and better), these occasions have become even rarer.
But I have one fatal weakness when it comes to McDonald’s: whenever they introduce a new large sandwich, I feel compelled to try it. I am not sure why this is, since inevitably the same thing happens: the sandwich is terrible and leaves me feeling nauseated and gross for hours afterwards. The latest culprit is the Southwestern Chicken Sandwich, which was like a bag of ass sandwiched between two slickly slippery buns with hot sauce on top.
(Traditionally at this point a hippie shows up and tells you something about commercialism.)
June 30th, 2008 la 8:59 pm
God, McDonald’s is awful.
I mean, if you are on a budget, and just need FOOD (as opposed to anything remotely edible) its fine, and suprisingly cheap.
But thats the trap. It’s cheap for a reason. I worked at one when I first started going to college right outa high school, and I gotta say, after working there for awhile, I was tempted to never put fast food in me ever again.
(I do occasionally forget this and get a Carl’s Jr. burger)
June 30th, 2008 la 9:15 pm
Dude, try all of the ribs. Also, try the unbbq sauced ones, and add your own sauce. Delicious.
this is broguht to by local Loblaws wage slave.
June 30th, 2008 la 9:31 pm
Yeah, the sizes on stuff down here are pretty much idiotic. It’s tough to get a “small” order of fries anymore (and by “small” I mean actually small - the kind that are served in a little bag with a reasonable portion size). You pretty much have to order “kiddie” sizes or search out something they call “value-sized” at various restaurants. (Wendy’s still gets me every time - I’ll order a Medium drink and get something that could hydrate a llama.)
And while most of McD’s large sandwiches taste like ass, I will say that their new “Southern Style Chicken Sandwich” is surprisingly edible. Nice and simple - a fried chicken filet with pickle on a bun. It’s clearly a Chik-fil-a knock-off, and it’s not quite as good as a Chik-fil-a, but it’s not bad, and it doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve just eaten something that’s more sauce than anything else.
June 30th, 2008 la 9:33 pm
I buy happy meals, and off the dollar menu, when I can’t avoid it, (on car trips and such).
June 30th, 2008 la 9:47 pm
I’m hopelessly addicted to McDeath’s french fries.
Oh yeah, their southwestern chicken crap is, well crap. If the chicken itself were drier, it would be much more enjoyable, but it feels almost half-cooked for some reason.
June 30th, 2008 la 10:11 pm
I’m a big fan of their $1 double cheeseburgers. The chicken sandwich? Buh. If I wanted only chicken, a miniscule bit of pickle, and a bun, I … no, I wouldn’t want it. I need CHEESE, dammit. Fries are good, though. And I am a sucker for their sausage biscuit, add a slice of cheese.
June 30th, 2008 la 10:16 pm
Here’s the thing about McD’s–the food of their major burger joint competition around here is almost universally worse.
Take Wendy’s fries (please). If you don’t eat them immediately upon being served, if not sooner, they transform into foul-tasting lumps of mostly starch, whereas McD’s fries are still edible by the time you get home.
(I don’t know if they still do it, but McD’s used to dunk their fries in sugar syrup–in theory to get that golden-brown color, but more likely to get your sweet tooth thoroughly hooked.)
June 30th, 2008 la 10:17 pm
I’ve worked at enough McDonalds to be able order anything with a load of many special instructions and then watch them like a hawk. I find my horrible experience index has gone down quite a bit that way.
June 30th, 2008 la 10:42 pm
You would totally love the McAngus burger. Oh, yes. And I would love reading about it.
For the fries and drink portions, you have to remember that they just don’t care about the portion sizes from a cost perspective — they just have to make sure they’re competitively sized.
McDonald’s sells just about all of its “sandwiches” at cost, because it’s on the sandwiches that people comparaison shop. The drinks and the fries are just about pure profit. When I read up on it in high school, I found out that McDonald’s actually spends more money on cup, straw, lid and ice than they spend on the Coke itself[1].
[1] - Citation needed
June 30th, 2008 la 11:02 pm
You’re a bit late, Quotation.
June 30th, 2008 la 11:04 pm
We don’t have sizes of burgers. Well, unless you specifically order sandwiches that have different sized patties.
But some of the portions are crazy - supersize and even large here are too big. But medium? I didn’t think those were much more than a bottle of soda.
And lastly, there’s not supposed to be hotsauce on the Southern Chicken
June 30th, 2008 la 11:07 pm
Aardy R. DeVarque
If you don’t eat them immediately upon being served, if not sooner, they transform into foul-tasting lumps of mostly starch, whereas McD’s fries are still edible by the time you get home.
Ummmm, Aardy? McDonald’s fries are constructed of some unrottable, unkillable, unnatural compound that must not be named. When I was doing my art minor, one guy did a concept piece which involved a giant heap of old fries. We thought he’d sprayed them with acrylic or something.
Nope. I think the oldest ones were six weeks old, but you couldn’t tell. That shit is like Wonderbread.
*shudder* I don’t know how I could ever eat that stuff when I was a kid. It’s uniformly nasty.
June 30th, 2008 la 11:25 pm
Zed:
And like I said, Wendys’ fries are WORSE. (And I’d rate BK’s fries closer to Wendys’ than McD’s.)
Ick-phooey.
June 30th, 2008 la 11:31 pm
Describe this Loblaws to one ignorant of your crazy Canadian ways, if you please.
June 30th, 2008 la 11:38 pm
malakim: Loblaws is a venerable and very large upper-scale supermarket chain here in Canada, known for its store-brand “President’s Choice” products, which tend to be either comparable or (usually) far better than name-brand food across the board. Some of the early PC products were adapted for sale in the American market (Wikipedia says the only chain carrying them right now is Jewel).
June 30th, 2008 la 11:46 pm
If it’s that bad why do you eat the whole thing? I’d stop after one bite if it tasted that bad.
Or is it the kind of thing where it’s okay going down and then you get hit with the nausea and grossness afterward?
June 30th, 2008 la 11:49 pm
What I will eat at McDonald’s: Egg McMuffin (if you ever want to baffle an employee, try to order one without meat–apparently I’m the only one who’d be satisfied by egg and cheese) or a Premium Chicken Sandwich (but if I want to spend that much on a sandwich, why not go somewhere that has food I like?).
I avoid them at all costs. I’ve had one of their burgers once in recent memory, but I was extremely intoxicated. And by recent, I mean 8 years ago when I was a freshman in college.
And I agree wholeheartedly on American portion sizes, though it means I can generally nab a meal off BK’s cheapo menu for about $2.50 (I generally have a can or bottle of some beverage stashed in my purse, so no pop buckets for me).
July 1st, 2008 la 12:16 am
When I go to McDonald’s, all I order are the Chicken McNuggets and fries. Oh, and the orange pop, or occasionally a chocolate milkshake.
McDonald’s sandwiches and hamburgers aren’t that great, but I don’t have an issue with all of their food.
Oh, and those little cookies in the shape of McDonald’s characters? Yeah, those are good too.
July 1st, 2008 la 12:21 am
bleahk…
July 1st, 2008 la 12:47 am
I gave up on McDonalds when they introduced the McGriddle.
But you know what? I like Wendy’s fries. Especially when you dip them in your Frosty.
….yeah, I’m going to die at age 40.
July 1st, 2008 la 1:50 am
The only thing I actually LIKE from McD’s are the Chicken McNuggets. I know there probably isn’t much actual chicken meat, but I still love ‘em…
Beyond that, I’ve been trying to curb fast food from my diet. Not easy with my nocturnal schedule. Why can’t you be open 24 Pete’s Fish & Chips? WHY?
July 1st, 2008 la 1:54 am
See, I don’t mind McDonalds when I’m on a road trip - usually I’ll get 2-3 chicken sandwiches off the dollar menu.
If I’m going for good fast food, I go to Wendy’s for a couple of their double stack cheeseburgers (sans onions, can’t stand the bitter bastards - go figure).
But my greatest joy is the Whopper or the Whopper Jr at Burger king. I remember living in Appleton and going to collect my comics every Wednesday. I’d pick them up and the shop owner knew me only by my box number - which was cool with me- and then I’d come back and stop by the local Burger king for the Whopper Wednesday - a Whopper for $1 - and pick up two or three for the road.
Fresh comics and greasy burgers. You just can’t beat that.
July 1st, 2008 la 2:26 am
Well, I have to admit… I do like the McDonalds Chicken Wraps.
And thanks for the clarification MGK. You learn something new every day.
July 1st, 2008 la 3:07 am
The McFlurry is palatable. This mere earthling approves.
July 1st, 2008 la 3:10 am
supergp: The McFlurry is tolerable only when any other frozen ice cream product in a cup ™ is ignored. It’s not as good as a Frosty, or a Blizzard, or anything from an ice cream wagon.
July 1st, 2008 la 3:19 am
Do you ever go to a place where you can get a real burger? I know whenever I want one, I pass up the fast food places for Chili’s, a restaurant that actually doesn’t cook the burger until after you order it.
Of course, it’s an American restaurant and they call ‘em “Big Mouth Burgers” on the menu, so you can get bacon on it* and the whole thing is about 3/4 the size of your head. But it’s a really good burger 3/4 the size of your head.
*My favorite bacon. I want to know how they do it so I can do it that way - nowhere else have I ever found such bacon.
July 1st, 2008 la 3:59 am
I must concur with 01d55 on disliking most fast burgers. Hardee’s, Carl’s Jr, and Red Robin are fine, and I’d recommend a small town called Moonshine, Illinois.
At McDonald’s I tend to get a McNugget meal. The only other things I like on the menu are apple pies and breakfast items.
July 1st, 2008 la 4:03 am
Whataburger is the best. I pity all you non-Texas-inhabiting organisms.
Also, you wanna talk unhealthy? I once ordered a double from there with six orders of bacon. That is eighteen motherfucking slices. The bacon was approximately 120% the thickness of the two patties combined.
July 1st, 2008 la 5:03 am
No offence, but if you refer to the chipotle sauce on the new southwest chicken sandwich as ‘hot’ then you should just turn in your sack right now, because you are no longer a man.
July 1st, 2008 la 6:26 am
I really only crave one thing from Rotten Ronnie’s ( local term we use al the time) their sausage mcMuffin. Damn, they are addictive and at 1.39$ (cdn.) and/or the double chz burger (same price). they are the best.
July 1st, 2008 la 7:28 am
Whataburger is ok, but they use too much mustard. Good chicken basket, though Dairy Queen’s are better…
July 1st, 2008 la 10:20 am
Back when I still ate burgers I never found any fault with the ones from Harvey’s. Go there, man!
It’s only in Canada as far as I know, so you Yanks will have to make do with Carl’s Jr. or White Castle or Jack in the Box or whatever other chains are down there and not here.
July 1st, 2008 la 2:28 pm
Hold on now - Frostys are great. If you want chocolate. Their vanilla leaves something to be desired, particularly the ones with “mix ins”. That’s like charging me for a Blizzard or McFlurry and then making me mix it myself. I’ll pass.
July 1st, 2008 la 4:32 pm
Canada has a place called Loblaw’s? I’m having flashbacks to Arrested Development (which is a good thing). Is it run by a guy named Bob?
July 5th, 2008 la 2:02 pm
I always get the same thing too– only for me, it’s two McChickens off the dollar menu. I refuse to eat their “beef.”
July 8th, 2008 la 7:41 pm
McD’s poutine is awful, so no self-respecting Quebecois would go there. It’s not like we don’t have a zillion mom & pop fast food joints that make much better food that we can go to instead.