Comments on: There are no ideas, just marketing plans of your childhood

By: Prodigal

Prodigal — Sun, 24 May 2009 14:59:58 +0000

That’s the exact one, Lister Sage. And no, we will not see his like again.

By: Lister Sage

Lister Sage — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:52:17 +0000

Prodigal: That was “Only Human” right? Fucking love that episode, especially the final line (which I’m trying to remember all from memory) “They just don’t make terriorist like they used to. COBR-*cough**cough**hack**choke*”

There will never be another Chris Latta.

By: Prodigal

Prodigal — Tue, 19 May 2009 05:48:03 +0000

You forgot about when Cobra Commander transplanted the brains of some of th Autobots into human bodies so that gangsters could use their robot bodies to commit crimes.

Best goddamn crossover of the entire 80s.

And yes, it really did happen.

By: Dan

Dan — Sun, 10 May 2009 04:45:33 +0000

Your conversations are the funniest feature on this blog. Hands down.

By: Evil Midnight Lurker

Evil Midnight Lurker — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:08:40 +0000

To hell with the cartoon. HELL.

They hired LARRY FREAKING HAMA as a consultant for this movie. You know, the guy who wrote the comic? The comic that was, I don’t know, FIVE THOUSAND TIMES as good as the cartoon? And apparently they LISTENED to him.

That alone makes me willing to go see this movie.

By: Rob Brown

Rob Brown — Wed, 06 May 2009 09:33:14 +0000

I’m a little surprised that Destro’s weird family history didn’t make the list. As best I remember, his ancestor was found guilty of some crime and sentenced to be locked in a mask, so all of that guy’s descendants decided they were going to wear masks too. Also, they worshipped some kind of slimy immortal monster that lived in a pit in a castle and they wanted to sacrifice somebody to it.

(I’m reasonably certain that if I wind up watching the episode again it won’t make make a whole lot more sense than the preceding summary.)

By: Ed (Jack Norris)

Ed (Jack Norris) — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:42:57 +0000

I’d rather have a Herculoids movie.

By: Josh R

Josh R — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:05:57 +0000

Yeah, I’m having a distinct lack of nerdrage over this. GI Joe was at base an excuse to sell toys. The only reason the comic transended that was Larry Hama’s writing skills.

No matter what the movie is like, it won’t take away the memories I have of reading and re-reading the awesome comics that he penned in spite of the stupid limits Hasbro imposed on him.

By: Scott

Scott — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:55:10 +0000

The issue is that in the ‘toon versions of G.I. Joe and Transformers and eventually Thundercats, the writers could throw out an episode where Optimus Prime and Starscream have a breakdancing contest, and we’d groan and say this is stupid, but next week Transformers would be back to giant robots fighting each other. Or G.I. Joe saving all the world’s peanut butter from Cobra.

In a movie, there is no next week. So while it’s great that Michael Bay thinks Bumblebee should take a piss on screen, it’s actually just a colossal waste of time, and while Bumblebee might have vomited once or twice in the original cartoon, Michael Bay doesn’t have 10 years to get Transformers across.

And this appears to be the same with G.I. Joe. The writer/director/producer spent so much time trying to make it look hip and cool and xxx-treme, that 85 of the 90 minutes are one-liners and super suits and while Joe was extremely ridiculous, it also had a very discernible plot that wasn’t look at all the Joes drive their rocket cars or shoot their eye-lasers.

By: dirge93

dirge93 — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:32:17 +0000

1) The best thing about the Joes was that they were insane Village People rejects. “We’re going to Arizona. Better bring Shipwreck. His nautical knowledge will be priceless!” “On this expedition to the Himalayas, it’d be best if Mutt brought his attack dog.” “Okay, we’ll send out our entire command staff on this mission. Because it’s just that important and that’s what us Joes do!”

2) Cobra had all the best toys, and all the messed up villains. Synthoids, BATs, cooler-looking tanks, weather dominators. Disfigured Cobra Commander, a guy with a mask that had moving parts(!), twins that felt each others pain, and a dominatrix!

It looks like the movie might understand most of the second part, but couldn’t figure out how to do the first and keep a straight face. Something the cartoon had no problem with, since it’s target audience was a blend of young and dumb and having cash.

Plus the producers realized that Iron Man was really, really cool. So they thought it best to work that in. (and it makes for more toy sales)

By: dev

dev — Tue, 05 May 2009 05:45:26 +0000

Damnit, I thought it said super-sluts. And then I was very disappointed by the paucity of super-sluts.

By: Zenrage

Zenrage — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:56:31 +0000

Andrew, I was talking about the role of the transformers in the live action movie, not the cartoon.

By: Black Rabbit

Black Rabbit — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:38:52 +0000

If I ever doubt my nerd credibility, I just remember that, even at thirteen years old, I knew the precise significance of Number Six Village Lane, Shipwreck’s new address in the phony town in the Synthoid episode.

By: marvinmartian

marvinmartian — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:33:30 +0000

I am fit to burst with excitement….oh not because of this trailer.

It’s because robo-suits brings us one step closer to the inevitable Inhumanoids film!

Huzzah!

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:53:16 +0000

Hey, what about the time Iceberg mutated into a giant whale? Damn, that was a messed-up show.

I’m probably going to give this a miss, even with the allure of the Ninth Doctor as Destro, which . . . huh? Or maybe I’m just not used to Destro without the iron mask.