Comments on: I aided in fulfilling the dreams of many an evergreen tree

By: Andrew W.

Andrew W. — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:55:11 +0000

I’ve only ever been punished or ridiculed for showing initiative at work.

By: Mary Warner

Mary Warner — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:24:25 +0000

I don’t think I would want to work around mustard either. At least not close up. That smell really makes me sick.
Ketchup doesn’t bother me at all.
Or should that be ‘catsup’?

By: Cookie McCool

Cookie McCool — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:51:17 +0000

Hell, I’d've hired a lazy bastard, I just wanted a lazy bastard I could like.

By: DistantFred

DistantFred — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:48:36 +0000

Am I alone in thinking that this might be MGK trying to raise Flapjack’s ad’s exposure?

(Of course… that makes no sense… Flapjacks is only a construct of MGK’s mind.)

By: supergp

supergp — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:33:43 +0000

Everyone says they want “proactive self-starting go-getters,” but few mean it. *shrug* Just in my experience.

By: kenb3

kenb3 — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:38:19 +0000

I’m pretty sure that guy smokes enough weed to satisfy everyone in Phish and Sublime put together.

By: Cookie McCool

Cookie McCool — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:06:57 +0000

Super, we are looking for proactive self-starting go-getters! Not namby-pamby “I’ll try it if you try it first” reactive pantywaists. Please edit your cover letter accordingly.

By: supergp

supergp — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:14:23 +0000

Cookie: When most employers stop responding to the usual bland reassurances of competence, us jobseekers will stop using them.

By: Cookie McCool

Cookie McCool — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:33:05 +0000

I just recently had to weed through over a dozen boring applicants for a new hire, and I sincerely wish to Christ any of them had submitted a resume like this. When you’re trying to hire based on personality, it’s a pain in the ass that everyone uses the same bullshit language in their resumes and cover letters.

By: piranhtachew

piranhtachew — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:21:21 +0000

“I am also pretty sure I worked at a Dairy Queen for a day, but again I’m not really too sure.”

Well, I guess if you’re seasonally occupied, I suppose things can get a little misty on you, Mister.

By: Prankster

Prankster — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:42:57 +0000

“My work ethic is strong only when required.” Hey, mine too!

By: harmfulguy

harmfulguy — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:34:11 +0000

Having “420″ in your e-mail address does tend to limit your employment prospects.

By: SmR

SmR — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:34:00 +0000

“I rock pretty hard…I am adept at taking care of business.” And working overtime?

The mustard thing reminds me of the girl they had on Maury who had a severe, debilitating phobia of pickles.

By: Samus

Samus — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:05:44 +0000

I love this man deeply.

By: Al

Al — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:55:10 +0000

I know everyone’s talking about Quislet (and with good reason) but man, I’d love to have this guy at my workplace. Seriously, ‘i scaped the land as a lanscaper’ that’s just brilliant.