Comments on: This is gonna be the best World Cup ever!

By: Evil Abraham Lincoln

Evil Abraham Lincoln — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:49:41 +0000

Wow. Flapjacks is insane. And I like it!

By: Burke

Burke — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 23:53:21 +0000

“Bagel? *gasp* This isn’t a bagel! It’s bread in disguise!” (shrubbery)

By: Aisling

Aisling — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 23:09:59 +0000

Cookie, anything can be livened up by the introduction of double agents.

Cooking: who really knows who all those sous chefs on Iron Chef are working for? They could be trying to steal critical cuisine technology!

Lawsuits: maybe I’ve been watching too much Boston Legal, but who wouldn’t love to be in court some ordinary boring Tuesday only to have one of the lawyers pull off their costume and turn out to really be Alan Shore?

Shopping: associates from various stores trying to actually steal customers from each other. They’d need a lot of smoke pellets.

Breakfast: what better way to start the day than with a bagel and a little light espionage?

By: Cookie McCool

Cookie McCool — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:05:03 +0000

This proves my theory that any sport can be livened up by the introduction of double agents to the defense strategy.

By: MrGale

MrGale — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:43:56 +0000

Long time ago. They used to be hilariously bad, all not able to volley the ball and unclear on the rules, they were like our wacky comic relief team whenever they made a cup. Sadly thats pretty much changed and now they mostly just play physical, if not very creative football and even win matches sometimes. Ruined a great tradition.

So you dont have to watch the world cup, you guys will probably struggle to make second in the group, go out in the second round. Spirited, but not really having the talent or depth, like the asian teams.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:03:38 +0000

We have a soccer team in the US? When did this happen?

By: zurn

zurn — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:25:00 +0000

Also, no. 1 reason this is going to be an awesome World Cup: unlike the Germany 2006 heat wave, it should be relatively nice during a South African winter. What does this mean? More goals! (Like the recent Euro Cup.) Also: SPAIN. And some interesting underdogs (go Slovakia, my Czech team surrogates!).

By: zurn

zurn — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:15:57 +0000

You had me at “intercontinental ballistic corner-kicking technology.”

By: HammerHeart

HammerHeart — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:59:38 +0000

North Korea will need a LOT of whales to qualify from a group that includes Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast (hailed as Africa’s strongest team), and from which only two teams will qualify. I just hope Kim Jong-Il doesn’t feed the Korean players to the whales after their inevitable elimination.

Loved the bit about the Portuguese lawyer clutching his knee and rolling on the floor in pain, though.

And I believe the US team will qualify from their group. They won’t even need whales. But how far can they go? Physically the US team is like a cross between linebackers and wide-receivers with kicker skills, and if they really want to go all the way they should start wearing wrestlers’ makeup to terrify their opposition. At least they finally stopped trying to play like South Americans (they’re too big and muscular for that) and are now going for a cornfed variation of the German style, which suits them far better.

By: 1truegl

1truegl — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:06:54 +0000

Brazil or Spain are my picks to go all the way. Argentina is the 3rd best placed. The Netherlands will underperform when it matters most (quaterfinals for them) France is a spent force and will have more of the neutrals against them. Italy (with their streetwise team) and England (with their ORDINARY TEAM) have the easiest draws by far (and bear in mind that England usually get the gift of having Andora and Lichtenstein in every qualifying round to qualify for every tournament they play). The fact that I only have a vague idea where these ‘countries’ are located should give you a fair idea of their football fame. I would have loved Portugal v England in the group stages, but pounds spent on beer talks…

By: Bentarc

Bentarc — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 07:50:54 +0000

Flapjacks idealisation of Football would actually be interesting to watch.

By: Lawnmower Boy

Lawnmower Boy — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:44:17 +0000

You can’t say that you play gridiron football if you allow four downs. It’s like pretending that slo-pitch is baseball.

By: lilacsigil

lilacsigil — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:32:27 +0000

This is the best post about the World Cup ever. I bet Italy could fake a broken leg right in front of the goal but they couldn’t get that penalty past THE WHALE!

Also, why does Brazil always randomly suck, then be awesome for five critical seconds, then suck again but too late, they’ve won?

By: Mary Warner

Mary Warner — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:29:28 +0000

I have no interest in sports, but I might watch just to see this North Korean madness.

By: Agog

Agog — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:22:54 +0000

New Zealand has qualified for the first time since 1982. The fact we are going to be massacred is of little consequence. We qualified!