You know how when something stupid happens to you, it’s always your stupidest friend who notices? That.

FLAPJACKS: Is it cold outside?
ME: Well, yes. It is January.
FLAPJACKS: You should dress warmer.
ME: “More warmly.”
FLAPJACKS: That too.
ME: It’s not that cold. It’s just, you know, winter.
FLAPJACKS: Then why is your skin blue? Look at it. You look like you have frostbite or something.
ME: If I had frostbite my skin would be either white or black.
FLAPJACKS: That’s racist. Asians can get frostbitten too!
ME: You know that’s not what I meant.
FLAPJACKS: Who can truly know the mind of a racist?
ME: Shut up.
FLAPJACKS: Anyway, why is your skin blue if it’s not frostbitten?
ME: You know, for someone concerned about racists, you seem awfully interested in my skin colour.
FLAPJACKS: Human beings aren’t normally blue so it doesn’t count.
ME: I got new sheets.
FLAPJACKS: I don’t follow.
ME: I got new sheets, so I washed them to get out the extra dye and soften them up before I put them on the bed. The sheets are blue. One wash was apparently not enough to get out all the extra dye.
FLAPJACKS: Why didn’t you take a shower or have a bath or something?
ME: I did.
FLAPJACKS: And you’re still bluey after that?
ME: Yes.
FLAPJACKS: Well, this is just delicious.
ME: Stop that.