It Was Either This Or Interpretive Dance
This is probably going to be the last one of these I have time to do for a while; law school is already starting to ramp back up the intensity metre.
But I’m rather happy with it, and if “One More Day” was just too static and boring to mock, at least “Brand New Day” isn’t, despite thus far having a near-total lack of Peter Parker actually being Spider-Man, and despite Steve McNiven apparent belief that Peter really, really likes running his hands through his hair. (I don’t know what it is about Steve McNiven’s art that prompts me to do these things.)
Not included: the three pages introducing Mister Negative, both because I felt they impeded the remixed narrative and because I don’t want to condemn the creation of potentially interesting new villains.
January 14th, 2008 la 11:10 am
In the event that “I could pimp…” was a Bloom County reference, I doff my hat to you, sir.
January 14th, 2008 la 1:36 pm
Even without the dialogue, the scene where that guy is putting on Peter’s shoes is just creepy.
January 14th, 2008 la 1:47 pm
Now there’s the Jonah I know and love! Poor JJJ, it must be so hard having your moral compass completely detached from cotinuitiy…
January 14th, 2008 la 1:59 pm
I like the spider-robber, he’s sweet.
January 14th, 2008 la 2:12 pm
HEY GUYS I THINK HARRY MIGHT BE GAY
January 14th, 2008 la 3:39 pm
SCIENCE! It never gets old. But the art? It scares me.
January 14th, 2008 la 4:08 pm
Not that your last few have been bad, but this one was solid all throughout.
It also makes me even less interested in where Spider-Man is going.
January 14th, 2008 la 4:10 pm
Eh, I wasn’t happy with the Arena one - I ran out of steam as I gradually realized it sucked too hard to be parodied, and I think it came through in the writing.
January 14th, 2008 la 5:03 pm
I have a hard time imagining how bad the Arena source material was. You really took one for the time just looking at the pictures on that one. Civil War is still my favorite, though.
January 14th, 2008 la 5:56 pm
Ahhh I am so happy right now!
First you dispelled my anger over the Death of the New Gods by giving Big Barda the ending she always deserved, and then you stopped me bitching about Brand New Day by actually making it cool.
Thank you. You made my life a happier and more content place, I care nothing for official continuity now, I am happy in the MGK universe.
And here I thought nothing would top… ‘It’s only Goliath…’
January 14th, 2008 la 7:15 pm
A great return to form. Better than even Civil War!
January 14th, 2008 la 8:17 pm
Ah, tranny jokes: the last refuge of the lazy comedian. Now that people aren’t so comfortable laughing at sexism or racism, someone had to be subhuman, and sir, we are here for you!
January 14th, 2008 la 8:27 pm
Can someone help explain the gap in continuity to me referenced with the whole “maybe I should take my mask off on public tv” thing?
I’ve read (your) civil war and saw him unmask himself, and now I’m reading (…your) this and he’s incognito again and nobody knows his identity? What am I missing?
Thanks
January 14th, 2008 la 8:37 pm
Rachel: given that the (intended) joke arising from the transgendered person (note: not transvestite, I wanted to make sure he/she identified herself as such) is “Peter is hella uptight,” which was primarily inspired by Steve McNiven giving Peter some truly overblown “shocked” facial expressions on the page in question, I’m not sure what your problem is, unless using transsexuals in a humorous context is by definition offensive on your meter.
I mean, I had the character mock Peter’s panic for a reason, after all.
January 14th, 2008 la 8:54 pm
Besides, we all know that bedwetters are the new subhuman du jour.
January 14th, 2008 la 9:10 pm
GuyInc: In case you are not being ironic (it is hard to tell these days):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_More_Day_(comics)
January 14th, 2008 la 9:13 pm
Ah. Good old reality-altering demons.
January 14th, 2008 la 9:24 pm
Good stuff, as always. Loved the Simpsons reference with the marijuana bit.
January 14th, 2008 la 9:32 pm
I really, really like the idea that the reason the Bugle is suddenly going under is that Jameson has wasted millions of dollars building giant robots to hunt down Spider-Man.
Good parody. (And it’s also nice that I’m not the only one who spotted the problem of an “all-new, all-accessible Spider-Man comic!” that doesn’t feature freaking Spider-Man in it on any page! Yes, that’s what the kids want when they go to pick up a Brand New Day for Spider-Man–22 pages of Peter Parker, looking for a job!)
January 14th, 2008 la 9:52 pm
This is great. I almost want to get the original. But naaaww.
January 14th, 2008 la 10:10 pm
Excellence. After trudging through the Arena parody (Not your fault. Not even the three-way love child of Alan Moore, Steve Gerber and Grant Morrison could do anything with that pile of garbage… And what happened to Scott McDaniel? He used to be good ‘n shit.) It’s warms the old cockles to see some good, high-caliber funny stuff.
This just confirms my previous theory: Harry Osborne is Mephisto in disguise and his real goal is to get Spidey to go gay, as that would be the true slight in the eyes of a christian god…
“Mmmm… Now that’s a man-kiss.”
January 14th, 2008 la 10:31 pm
Dude! I tell ya, this is more entertaining than the ACTUAL BMD!
Just like your Civil War!
My hat is officially off to you, sir! =)
January 15th, 2008 la 12:46 am
Real life distractions? Shoot, and I was hoping you’d have another installment of Arena, where Green Lantern Bruce Wayne openly wonders why the hell there are three other version of himself dressed up like bats, as opposed to a half-warmed Frank Miller reference.
Very nice job, by the way.
January 15th, 2008 la 1:34 am
As much as I love Dan Slott, this is rewrite is both funnier and more natural than the original. Have you considered taking on a comic job?
January 15th, 2008 la 1:42 am
Hey, if DC or Marvel want to hire me, I’m not exactly hard to find.
January 15th, 2008 la 3:30 am
[…] mighty godking strikes again, this time at the most deservingly stupid comic story in years; spiderman in magic dc reboot ‘brand new day’. […]
January 15th, 2008 la 3:33 am
I can only imagine Arena would be tricky for anyone to mock. It’s not like there’s any substance whatsoever to go off.
Well done, good sir. You may need to pitch a Terry Rodriguez, Transsexual Detective miniseries. I’d buy it.
January 15th, 2008 la 3:43 am
‘I’ve read (your) civil war and saw him unmask himself, and now I’m reading (…your) this and he’s incognito again and nobody knows his identity? What am I missing?’
the devil. dead serious. also, joe quesada is afraid of commitment? or something.
anyways, mgk, you have literally just made my week. i lol, we all lol, but we never ACTUALLY lol, you know? i cannot read the jjj bit without dying. it’s impossible.
that you’re not doing this for a living is a shame.
January 15th, 2008 la 4:27 am
I love your Spider-mugger.
January 15th, 2008 la 4:59 am
[…] Upping the Spider-ante, Christopher Bird remixes Amazing Spider-Man #546. (Above: Damn Spider-straight! Panel detail from the linked […]
January 15th, 2008 la 10:16 am
Terry Rodriguez, Transexual Detective could be the character find of the century. Someone draft her/him into the Thunderbolts (or X-Men) or whichever book it is Ellis will be writing this year…
January 15th, 2008 la 11:28 am
Some of us have been bitching for a while now that Mr. Bird needs to be in comics. His Civil War parodies showed that not only did he have a sense of humor, he understands what makes these characters memorable. He understands how they think, how they’ve been consistently characters. Good story + consistent characterization = what made comics great. We want to depend on the characters to be portrayed accurately, and be given fresh, clever challenges.
I think someone needs to start a campaign to clamor for DC or Marvel to hire Mr. Bird. I just think e-petitions and flooding inboxes aren’t the best way. Ideas anyone?
If there are any artists out there who have both the skills and stamina, please contact Bird about collaborating. A successful independent/online comic has been a stepping-stone for many creators before.
January 15th, 2008 la 12:29 pm
J. Bryan Shoup,
What really convinced me of Chris’ mainstream writing chops was his Death of the New Gods parody. The voices of Scott & Barda were spot on. Seriously, I can’t remember a time they were written that well in the actual comics.
January 15th, 2008 la 8:21 pm
I am so depressed at what they are doing to Spidey. I am no exaggerating when I say that these parodies totally make my week (sometimes my entire month, depending.) I completely agree with J. Bryan Shoup. Words could not describe how ecstatic I would be if Mr. Bird were able to write comics. Thank you so much for providing these salves for our comic-loving souls.
January 15th, 2008 la 11:42 pm
Awesome parodies like yours were what got Gail Simone noticed, and she’s one of DC’s top writers now. But really, aren’t you planning on being a lawyer? I don’t think even top-tier comics writers can compare in pay scale.
January 15th, 2008 la 11:45 pm
I was hoping you’d do a parody of “Amazing 30-Year Old Virgin Jobless Loser Peter Parker, Who Lives at Home With His Mother Figure, and Doesn’t Fight Crime Out Of Spite”.
Or, A30YOVJLPPWLAHWHMFADFCOOS.
January 15th, 2008 la 11:45 pm
I am planning on being a lawyer, but I’m not going to be a high-hat corporate lawyer - rather, I will be the sort of lawyer who engages in public causes. That pays, but not nearly so well as the soul-deadening stuff. So I could certainly use a little side income.
January 16th, 2008 la 9:09 am
I think someone needs to start a campaign to clamor for DC or Marvel to hire Mr. Bird. I just think e-petitions and flooding inboxes aren’t the best way. Ideas anyone?
Maybe a deluge of honest-to-God letters in tangible envelopes that open and close and have saliva-activated adhesive and everything? I haven’t written one of them in ages and I may have forgotten how to do so, but for Mr. Bird to potentially get a job in comics I would certainly try my best!
Anyway, nobody bothers to write their letters on paper anymore, so I think it would be tougher for these companies to ignore a lot of those.
January 16th, 2008 la 2:08 pm
Find out the truth about the split-up by reading, MJ’s Top 5 Complaints About Spider-Man Revealed!
January 16th, 2008 la 5:58 pm
“Harry Osborne is Mephisto in disguise and his real goal is to get Spidey to go gay”
I think that making Spider-Man gay would piss off the fanbase way more than Clone Saga, the story where Spider-Man had claws and was empowered by a Spider-totem, and One More Day put together.
It’s a swerve that I’d enjoy. It’d get me buying Spider-Man books if they turned him gay. The portrayal of Harry Osborn here would make fertile ground for a Spider-Man/Goblin feud. Rather than the “you killed my dad” angle, you could have a very deep and complex rivalry/friendship based on unrequited love. Rather than worry about telling Aunt May he’s Spider-Man (that’s an old, worn out road, after all), Peter would have to worry about coming out to his aunt (who, while probably a really nice person, would show her age and be uncomfortable with it). There’s a treasure trove of new, fresh stories there to be told. Since Peter’s a fairly down to Earth character, you could also have stories that meaningfully and seriously dealt with homophobia.
“He understands how they think, how they’ve been consistently characters. Good story + consistent characterization = what made comics great.”
I think the Gold and Silver Ages would like a word with you.
January 16th, 2008 la 10:31 pm
Oh yeah, about Terry?
After reading the post here…
…I CALLED IT!
January 19th, 2008 la 6:48 pm
Andrew said: “I think the Gold and Silver Ages would like a word with you.”
I’m confused. Do you agree or disagree with me? I was saying that Mr. Bird understands what makes superhero comics enjoyable. I also really enjoy the Gold and Silver Age.
April 25th, 2008 la 2:36 pm
Oh god, I *just* noticed the Jay Pinkerton ref with Jonah insisting that Peter get him a fucking coffee.
…that WAS a Jay Pinkerton ref, right?