I theatre-hopped to see it and still feel like I should ask for my money back.
That is arguably the most scathing movie review that I have ever read. Nicely put.
*shrug* I figured nobody would even see it for free. All those bright colors remind me kind of how animals advertise that they’re poisonous. 🙂
Although you did remind me of my reaction to seeing ‘Matrix Reloaded’. “Not only do I want my money back, but I want to tie the Wachowski Brothers to a chair for three hours so that I can waste their time talking about my crappy half-baked movie ideas!”
I have a quick question that in no way relates to this post…
You seem so enthusiastic about the Legion of Superheroes that you’ve piqued my interest. Where would be the best place to start reading, considering I know almost nothing about them or dc in general?
The two easiest start points, ignoring the current “threeboot” edition, are probably around Legion of Superheroes v2 #280 (when Paul Levitz’s second run on the title really kicked into high gear – within half a dozen issues Keith Giffen shows up and things really get drastically awesome) and Legion of Super-Heroes v4 #0 / Legionnaires #0, which kick off the “first reboot” era of the Legion, an era that had a very solid four or five years before descending into tedium for a couple of years before Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning showed up to give it the kick in the ass it desperately needed.
From a personal perspective, my first Legion comics as a young’un was v2 Legion of Super-Heroes Annual #1, which, upon a mature re-reading, really holds up: it’s a great Legion story, to begin with, but on top of that it’s a fantastic introductory story for both the setting and tone of the Legion, and furthermore it has impact – it brings back one of the classic Legion villains and introduces a new Legionnaire to the team.
It’s almost a “how-to” guide for “I want to attract new readers to my comic.” A bit old-school in tone compared to now, of course, but hardly so much so that it’s not still eminently readable even today.
Oh, and of course ninety-nine percent of what I just mentioned isn’t available in trade at all, so it’s singles or *cough cough* illegal downloading *cough*.
Wow, that was super-fast. Thank you, sir! To be honest, your last post where you mentioned Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad intrigued me. I’m a sucker for romance.
it is absolutely ridiculous that there isn’t some way to buy back issues of comics in an economical fashion. When idiots can put whatever screed they like into pdf and lulu print it to any sucker who paypals 20 bucks in, but DC won’t take free money from people introduced to old material, there is a serious conceptual error involved.
What was your opinion on Iron Man?
As well as all this upcoming Avenger nonsense.
Good Sir MGK, I remember way back in the day when my friend worked at a movie theatre. He managed to get us free tickets to Stealth. I ended up walking out of that theatre $10 richer, because even the staff agreed it was a shitty movie.
The weird thing to me about Speed Racer is that, judging from the trailers, it looks eerily like the Speed Racer cartoon in every detail, and I tend to assume it must be an incredibly faithful adaptation. On the other hand, I never liked the Speed Racer cartoon to begin with, so it looked like a faithful adaptation of something that already sucked.
Now every time someone criticizes this movie, I’m going to wonder if their underlying issue is “BAWWWW this movie raped my childhood” or “making a movie about Speed-frigging-Racer is a stupid idea.”
bunnyofdoom: BUT STEALTH HAD A ROBOT PLANE
Jim: For me, it’s totally the latter. There’s a reason I theatre-hopped; it was morbid curiosity to see as if it was as bad as I thought it would be. Oh my yes was it that bad.
I went and saw Iron Man the day it came out here in Oz at 3pm – just me, a couple of unemployed layabout yoof and a dozen kids all in school uniform who had clearly wagged school to see it on the opening day.
I thought Iron Man was all types of fun, but before they got to that we had the trailer for Speed Racer visited upon us like a stream of fluoro vomit.
I only have the vaguest memory of the cartoons. There was no chance in hell that my fellow movie-goers had ever seen them. After the trailer finished, in the ensuing silence, a cracked adolescent voice rang out around a mouthful of popcorn: “What the FUCK?”.
Which review is fourteen words fewer than yours, admittedly, but then, we only had to sit through the trailer. Fortunately.
I really, really enjoyed it. Am I a bad person? 🙁
(of course, my enjoyment kicked in when I started thinking of it as “F-Zero X: The Movie” instead of “Speed Racer”. A pity for all those talking heads between the car racing goodness. And why does the movie star Captain Falcon’s baby brother?)
I disagree, I saw Speed Racer and felt like it was money well spent.
Honestly if that cast was doing Hamlet I would probably give it a try, even though I knew the movie was going to be awful beyond all reason.
John Goodman as Polonius, Ricci as Ophelia, Fox as Laertes (or Horatio)? That I might actually see. And are we sure the Wachowskis didn’t film this as a racecar-enchanced ADHD/HDTV version of Hamlet?
Although I agree that the movie looks about as exciting as an abortion, the show ROCKED! Also, Positronic, I totally see how that looks like F-Zero with the neon twisting tracks and whatnot. Were’nt they normal oval racetracks on the show?
Speed Racer was like if someone filmed my soul: I have never been so happy watching a movie, and I had a giant grin on the whole time. Of course, I’m also watching it from a filmmaker’s perspective, and they did a lot of stuff that has NOT been done in film before, and original techniques (techniques, not ideas) usually only happens in 1 or 2 movies per year, if that.
I never saw the cartoon.
While it did have a robot plane, it was still was shite. A robot plane that went rogue for no reason, but then went good again, once again for no reason.
It looks like one of those movies that you buy when it’s out on DVD/Bluray to justify the five grand you tossed out on the home theater system.
John Goodman beat up a ninja. He beat up a ninja and then he talked trash on said ninja.
I straight up loved Speed Racer. It was so pretty!
bunnyofdoom: Beside the point, I know, but–2005 is “way back in the day”?
Lies, heresy, blasphomey, and more of the same!
That movie was everything I could have asked for and more. Over-the-top cheesy and ridiculous but with something resembling a plot and characters that genuinely filled the rolls they were cast in.
Given that Speed Racer wasn’t exactly the best anime out back in the 80s, the studio got full mileage out of its vehicle (pun retroactively intended) and
Even if you had no idea what Speed Racer was, it was a good kids movie and not an entirely bad young adults movie. Just my opinion, though.
“…back in the 1980s?” Speed Racer premiered in America when my mother was three: the jolly ol’ year of 1967.
And even then, it takes more than flashy lights or John Goodman beating up Ninjas (ok, that latter sounds kinda cool) to make me want to see a Wachowski-ized version of a cartoon where the only thing worth remembering was the car and the monkey who ate candy.
Man, that monkey would eat SO MUCH candy.
heehee. He’d always get a stomachache.
The Wachowski bros certainly put a lot of effort into making Speed Racer… the movie overall looked and felt like a cross between anime, a kaleidoscope, that Flintstones movie, a video game and the Dukes of Hazard
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