Oh, god, this movie is going to be a classic piece of crap. I can’t wait.
Well, the right-wingers are going to bitch and moan because its a UN force and not an “All American” force.
Even though there is no way any American military unit could cross as many borders as GI JOE did in the cartoon series without proper clearance.
However, I’m not entirely convinced this will be all bad, or as bad as Transformers was.
I’m afraid I agree with MGK; when Brendan Fraser is your cameo of note and you’re willingly putting Marlon Wayans on your posters, it’s going to be a rough ride….
They hired a WAYANS brother to do this movie?
Are they out of their friggin’ minds?! They’re CURSED!
My expectations are pretty low, so I’ll probably end up enjoying it.
I’m going to agree with Zenrage, because there are few things as bad as Transformers.
What character is Mr Wayans playing?
Did they steal the typeface from Spider-Man 3?
bunnyofdoom: Roadblock I think.
Odd King: I believe so.
It’s not the same font. The Spider-Man font had consistent widths throughout, bars and stems which extended through the part of the letter they crossed over, and did not have the weird combination of pointy and rounded terminals that this one does.
-Eli, who has read maybe a half-dozen articles about typography in the past year
It’d have to be either Roadblock or Stalker, wouldn’t it? They’re the only black guys I remember.
*checks IMDb* Oops, my bad, he’s playing Ripcord. Roadblock and Stalker are apparently not in this movie.
*reads more of the cast list* Okay, Christopher Eccleston as Destro, should be alright…Arnold Vosloo for Zartan, uh, okay…Ray Park for Snake Eyes, that’s cool…wait, seriously, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander?!
Oh, man, this movie is going to be…glorious.
WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING MY CHILDHOOD?!
Ah, the daily butthurt cries of an unpleasable fanbase.
Gordon-Levitt and, yes, Wayans are good actors, so I’ll give them a pass. Eccleston as Destro sounds great, but he’s not wearing the mask, so what the hell, Sommers?
Adewale Adinnouke Agbaje from Lost is playing Heavy Duty. Why not Roadblock? I guess they’d rather use the second-rate knockoff from the series’ end. Meh.
But the Spider-man 3 font is still the same as the Playstation 3 font, right?
And would MGK consider doing something to cover all the goofy commercials and trailers that will inevitably air during the Super Bowl?
Canada doesn’t get the American commercials. I’d have to watch them online, and honestly, apart from the occasional movie trailer, I don’t care enough.
Clearly, someone needs to pay for MGK’s tickets down to the States, hotel (and mini-bar) bill, so he can do a proper review. Get right on that.
You know, I’ve got to say, I quite often see people grumble about Transformers, and I don’t get it. I mean, some of the military stuff drug on a bit, but overall? That shit was fun. I don’t really know how to define a “great” movie, but I laughed quite often, and it blew a sufficient amount of shit right up, and Shia I-can-never-spell-his-last-name had a rapid-fire but scatter-shot delivery with a good sense of comic timing and a better sense of moving the story forward. And plus: John Turturro! Not to mention: the glory that is Megan Fox!
“Sleep well handsome man.”
“How did you get over there so fast?”
On topic: never got into G.I. Joe when I was a kid, so I’d probably be skipping this either way. But concerning the Wayans in question, wasn’t this the same one who was in Requiem for a Dream? Because he’s the okay one, I think. Or used to be. With the right director and the right material, I guess.
You know, I’ve got to say, I quite often see people grumble about Transformers, and I don’t get it. I mean, some of the military stuff drug on a bit, but overall? That shit was fun.
Well, for starters, when I want to see a movie about the Transformers, I want to see Transformers and not a solid hour of Shia LaBeefs coming of age and macking on Megan Fox (who is either made of plastic or determined to convince us all that she is made of plastic and very good at doing so) ineffectively.
Also, I want to see the Transformers fight and have it be awesome, rather than get wall-to-wall moving crane shots courtesy of Michael “I Cannot Frame A Scene To Save My Life” Bay.
That is for starters.
Wayans is playing Ripcord, I hear.
And I thought Transformers was crap. The robots looked terrible, my favorite back stabber Starscream had no personality at all, and I thought there was way too much Shia, too. I have nothing personally against the man but there was just too much set up.
And the origin of Earth’s technology was a crock.
I don’t think there was any reasonable chance of a TRANSFORMERS live action movie NOT focusing on human characters for a good portion of its running time. I didn’t mind that at all.
And frankly Bay’s editing in that movie was downright restrained compared to what he does normally.
Oh, Stephen Sommers…why?
I’m not going to lie. I immensely enjoyed Transformers. But I like to hold with the BtAF review of it: good movie, but there was obviously a better movie hidden behind it.
As for the GI Joe sudden being a UN taskforce… I’m sure this movie with tactful explain how the UN depends on the U.S., its greatest supporter, for everything. And then it will show us Marlon Wayans’ crotch.
Fortunately, Eccleston is in it. The last movie where Wayans was the best actor was Dungeons & Dragons and… well… that was Dungeons & Dragons.
The only things I remember about Transformers were a bunch of random metallic shapes that usually were out of focus, a bus exploding, Megan Fox’s tight, moist mid section and John Turturro getting pissed on.
Oh and the climactic battle scene between the main metallic shaped hero and villain that was artistically shot so we didn’t get to see any of it
I think the biggest crime in this is that I read Snake-Eyes is supposed to be french!
Maybe the acting debut of Larry Hama can save this thing.
I didn’t realize J G-L was going to be in GI Joe. As Cobra Commander no less! I might have to watch this movie.
I don’t want to derail the converstation any more than has already happened, but after I saw him in The Lookout I decided that if Nolan wanted to have the Joker return in a future Batman movie (and I know he’s not) Joseph Gordon-Levitt could pull it off.
This movie will be exactly what it should be, a movie based on a 25 year old comic book and cartoon.
The casting is decent, remember in Hollywood they have to certain people due to contracts and investors. It’s why Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal still get to make movies.
Just be thankful this movie isn’t being directed by Uwe Bol.
And I can see a perfect reason for making the Joe Team a UN taskforce; International Movie Rights. You want a movie to sell overseas you can’t have it make only Americans. This movie could tank in the US and still earned a billion dollars overseas.
So quit talking crap you geeky fanboys. And be like me a geeky fanboy who is gonna see the movie anyway.
And now you know.
The focus on the costumes instead of faces is a weird choice, given that the costumes all look the same.
“In 2009… you will see Marlon Wayans’ crotch.”
Well, that sold me on the movie.
“This movie will be exactly what it should be, a movie based on a 25 year old comic book and cartoon.”
See here’s my problem with the attitude of that statement, and it’s the exact same attitude that people expressed when Transformers came out. It’s dismissive and it’s lowering the standard something just because the fact that a) it’s ‘this seasons blockbuster’ and/or b) it’s based on a comic/toy/TV show
Let me ask this, what is a more ridiculous concept? A tale about a fictional U.S/UN taskforce taking on an terrorist group? Or a story about an alien that lays eggs in your stomach? Or how about a time travelling robot made of liquid metal?
Now the latter two concepts could have easily been made into just as ridiculous movies as Transformers and this GI-Joe movie (it could be good, but just basing on what has been seen). But they weren’t. Alien (and Aliens) and Terminator 2 are considered two of the best sci-fi movies ever, and they weren’t little independent movies, they were expensive summer blockbuster movies.
Let’s not forget that last year that two of the best movies, Dark Knight and Iron Man, were based on 50+ year old comic books! Any concept can be made into something special, it just depends on how it is handled. And we shouldn’t reward dumb movies
Coming out of mere lurking status to address this:
Larry Hama was actually in an episode of M*A*S*H.
Bender: 40+ year old comic books, not 50, at least where Iron Man is concerned (70+ for Batman).
MGK beat me to it, but yes, the problem with ‘Transformers’ was that Bay was so addicted to shaky-cam that I couldn’t tell what the hell was happening in any given scene. “Oh, I think that giant robot just hit that other giant robot, but I could only see half of them because the shot was blocked by that bus.”
Shaky-cam worked for ‘Cloverfield’ (arguably) because it was supposed to be amateur footage shot by someone who didn’t know what the hell he was doing and probably shouldn’t have been trusted with a camera. What does it say that Michael Bay decided, “Hey, that’s the look I want!”
Not to mention that when the Title Characters descended from deep space, they weren’t treated as title characters as much as they were punchlines.
and pathetic punchlines at that.
Then there was the re-design of Megatron to the single most generic looking evil robot in all of moviedom, the automatic repair of Bumblebee’s voice box at the end, the unrealistic decision of the military forces to turn on sector 7, the automatic trust the military gave the driving Autobots… etc, etc, etc.
“the automatic trust the military gave the driving Autobots”
well they were all American made cars. I’d trust ’em.
Cinema isn’t declining. But it sure is fuck isn’t climbing any higher. People please. Do any of you really want to see it? Be honest. No one’s judging here.
I was pretty dismissive of this movie until the superbowl trailer, which featured, in no particular order of importance:
1) Destro shoots a magic acid ray (presumably) at the Eiffel Tower, disintegrating it; and
2) Snake Eyes jumps thirty feet into the air and does a Lumberjack walk on a flying car; and
3) Baroness Cleavage.
My “Will I See It?” meter has moved from No Way in Hell to OK, That Does Sort of Approximate the Ridiculousness of the Franchise, Maybe I Will Give it a Shot.
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