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mygif

I honestly think I saw Vanessa Redgrave in the audience as people were schmoozing Jessica Biel. That’s sad.

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Hey, um…how sad is it that those accountants are guarding that crap with their lives?

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“They make it work,” apparently, which now means “they look awkward and nerdy.”

It hasn’t always meant that? Man… I’ve never made anything work in my life…

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I don’t think it takes a wizard to figure Kate Winslet is the favorite.

Here’s hoping Hugh Jackman sings.

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Hey, Chris, be nice. Hugh, didn’t write this stuff!

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I think people are having FUN with him. He’s not staid and stogy. FUN.

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By the way, someone please tell Tilda Swinton a woman with that translucent a skin tone should NOT wear beige.

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JoeHelfrich said on February 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm

I know it’s like 3am his time, but for the record, I would be absolutely delighted to see you and Wheeler tag team this next year.

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Jack Black’s comment about Pixar made my stomach hurt. Not necessarily in a good way. Re: Andrew Stanton, he should be getting pretty darned good at these things now. Pixar just wipes the floor now…

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Joe, Wheeler lives in the same city as me now. The only reason we aren’t doing this together is because we are incredibly poor planners.

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JoeHelfrich said on February 22nd, 2009 at 10:10 pm

I am so far behind.

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Chris: why a spoon? Why not a knife or a fork or…?

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The Incredible Hulk has to win the award for “most unlikely film to show up in an Oscar montage… twice.” I mean, yes, there was romance in it, but it seems curious when it gets two appearances and Rachel Getting Married, a movie that’s actually about love gets… zero.

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mygif

mmm braised cabbage. Thats a freaking Manwhich

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Wow. The Rogan/Franco thing was…

Yeah.

Poor Janus Kaminsky probably wonders what the hell is going on and why he’s there.

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I love the comparison to Bob Hope, MGK. Well done.

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This is so much better than actually watching the show.

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You know, I can actually PROVE that Hellboy2 deserved that makeup award over Ben Button. Seriously. I have charts and graphs.

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Now this is getting too crazy.

MGK keeps saying “blowjob” while he has Manwich in his mouth, and then the True North commercial claims to be “turning a simple nut into an extraordinary snack”.

Coincidence? I think not.

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Victor Ferreira said on February 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 pm

Three times, Patrick

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Victor Ferreira said on February 22nd, 2009 at 11:23 pm

Also, Holy shit, Wanted was an Oscar nominee? Fucking WANTED?!
Did “Shoot ’em Up” did get any nominations last year? It’d way more deserving

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mygif

Yeah, I’m a little perplexed over the “Wanted” stuff. But I’m more perplexed over the split in sound awards. WTF.

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Dude, Hulk was awesome. It even had good acting!

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RandomChance said on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 am

…And Danny Boyle becomes the first person tonight I didn’t feel like kidney punching during their acceptance speech. Is that wrong?

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RobotKeaton said on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 am

At least Ben Stiller didn’t do his River Phoenix impersonation. That would have been less topical and less humorous.

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@Pamela

it’s because sound EDITING and sound MIXING are two very different disciplines that provide connected but separate services for a film, and neither one is a “technical” craft.

Sincerely,
a sound editor

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Mad Scientist said on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 am

Pamela said on February 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm

Chris: why a spoon? Why not a knife or a fork or…?

“Because it’s dull, you idiot! It’ll hurt more!”

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mygif

I am glad i missed it, the Awards are jokes now, meh.

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Generic Lad said on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 am

“Jack Black doing comedic banter with Jennifer Aniston is like Roger Federer playing tennis with Stephen Hawking.”

Well, Michael Palin’s tennis-playing Scotsman from Python’s “They Mean To Win Wimbledon” sketch vs. Stephen Hawking, I suppose…

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This reminds me of a conversation I once had with my dad:

DAD: Why do you expect the Oscars to be entertaining, anyway?

ME: Because they’re in the entertainment industry!

DAD: But they’re awards ceremonies. Awards ceremonies are always dull. If you went to a soap company’s annual awards ceremony for their employees, you wouldn’t expect that to be entertaining, would you?

ME: No, but I’d expect it to be clean.

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Thank you, MadScientist. :) It begged that rejoinder, didn’t it?

I feel sorry for Hugh. I think he did well; I think the show’s writers and director should be marched out of Hollywood and told not to return.

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I’m not sure if it’s a regional thing, but in NYC Manwich has an entirely different meaning…

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HitTheTargets said on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm

“If they present every fucking acting award like this, with five actors giving the five nominees massive motherfucking blowjobs, I may vomit.”

I like a more frank presentation of the inherent circlejerk nature of an awards ceremony. But then Bill Maher takes it too far by being the most self-congratulating motherfucker in the room.

Of course, I like frank modesty too, so the Japanese guy was cool.

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“You know, I finally figured out what I like about Hugh Jackman’s hosting style – it’s a return to old-school gladhanding happy-talk, just like Bob Hope used to do back in the day. We’ve come so far into the era of irony that traditional smarm is cutting-edge now.”

My brother and I had a conversation recently where this sort of thing came up. He was wondering what comes next, in this age of post-post-modernism or whatever it’s called. What comes after post-irony?

My theory is “the new sincerity.” A return to earnestness, which can be used for good and evil as equally as irony has been.

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mygif

You probably should copyright the word “fellatioteer”.

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Here’s an idea for improving the Oscars: RANDOM SELECTION. Draw the nominees out of a barrel, then pick the winners with a series of on-air coin tosses.(Heads, it’s Johnny Depp; Tails, it’s that guy in the hockey mask from FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH). Besides the unpredictability, it would have the thrill of high-stakes gambling.(If they insist on still doing musical numbers, the songs and performers should ALSO be randomly selected- that would either be a startling step up in quality, or at least something entertainingly bad ala AMERICAN IDOL auditions). Also, I’m serious about that HELLBOY 2 thing- I’ve done lab tests, and the results are conclusive.

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best part had to be Jackman gallivanting around the stage at the start. I should have just turned it off after that.

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Tilda Swinton is very creepy, but interestingly, I have been desensitized to this by her embracing of her inherent creepiness. You gotta be pretty comfortable with yourself as a woman to accept that you are the inverse of David Bowie and then take roles accordingly.

I admit to not only being horribly, nauseatingly surprised by the presence of the High School Musical kids and Miley Cyrus to being genuinely startled by Robert Pattinson’s (the extra pasty vampire dork) appearance. Every time I thought I was safe, wham! There he was, creepifying up my television set. I can’t believe he was sat behind Mickey Rourke; it was a one-two punch of DO NOT WANT. I kid, I kid. Mickey Rourke seems cool.

Hellboy 2 should have gotten the makeup and costume awards, methinks, because some of those clothes were badass, but that’s what happens when you don’t make a “serious” or “art” film with the Academy. It’s very disappointing, because technically Hellboy 2 was about as close to perfect as you could get on the budget given. (The Dark Knight was such a long and “dark” movie that it’s made the leap from “genre film” to “REAL film” in their eyes, I guess.)

Jack Black doing comedic banter with Jennifer Aniston is like Roger Federer playing tennis with Stephen Hawking.

…Which you have to admit, is kind of hilarious in its own dark, twisted, “Oh my God, I am going to hell for this” way. What was with all the cuts to Brangelina? Was it to remind us how Aniston is still relevant, or was it just overt Academy bitchiness? (I’m leaning toward bitchiness.) I adored his Pixar joke even though I also loved Kung Fu Panda.

Speaking of Brangelina, I caught “Changeling” the other day, and while my sister was disappointed that there were no elfin changelings in the picture, I was more upset by Jolie’s lack of acting talent and her skeletal appearance in a ’20s/’30s setting.

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Domo arigato, Mr Roboto is Rush, not Styx.

And I’m not even a 70s prog rock/metal fan.

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[…] Check out some other reactions to the ceremony, including Nikki Finke of Deadline Hollywood Daily, Chris Bird of Mightygodking.com, Jeffrey Wells from Hollywood Elsewhere, and Mary McNamara of The Envelope. Apparently, people […]

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