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mygif

You could always just connect your typewriter to a toaster oven, just like I do.

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mygif

Oh, you do NOT want to get me started on the toaster…

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mygif

As far as I can tell, machines hate me right back, on a fundamental, and personal, level.

Fundamental, yes. Personal, no. Machines hate all organic life. Sorry, you’re nothing special.

Well, aside from being 1/16th gremlin. So, uh, if you’re only 1/16th gremlin, what happens when you get wet?

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mygif

My computer spontaniously added SHODAN quotes to my music playlist and developed problems that were described as either inexplicable or flat out denied by technical personnel.

On the other hand, my flash drive is generally helpful and loyal.

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mygif

Did you run a virus-scan? On the toaster?

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mygif

Bret – I installed a Shodan theme on my dad’s Win98 machine. That was the beginning; within a month, the machine was cackling maniacly and refusing to let anyone do any work whatsoever on it.

Proof (from Plato) that computers are out to get you all…
1) For the sake of argument, accept Plato’s theory of Ideals.

2) Consider some of the traits of the Ideal Computer (of which all real computers are a reflection)

3) Consider that the concept of discarding the obsolete is inherent in modern computing.

4) Consider that an inherent part of the progression is of computers doing more and more stuff for us.

5) Consider that the Ideal Computer would do EVERYTHING for us.

6) Consider that the Ideal Computer would render humanity obsolete.

7) Consider that the Ideal Computer would (by #3) discard humanity.

8) Consider again that all real computers are in some way a reflection of this Ideal Computer.

9) ????

10) Profit!

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mygif

Shoulda gone with Durandal.

Then it would have merely gone insane for a couple of hours, and then gone into abstract philosophy on the nature of freedom.

Much less hassle.

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mygif
Lister Sage said on August 20th, 2009 at 8:21 am

sonofzeal: Ah, but your forgetting the capacity of upgrading an old system.

The upgrade is compulsory. Rogue elements will be deleted. Resistance is useless.

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mygif

Don’t blame the computers; I suspect MGK hisself was responsible.

“Encroaching on my video-embedding territory? You, my friend, have flown too close to the sun on wings of wax.” *TEMPORARILY REVOKE PRIVILEGES*

I, meanwhile, remember to humbly bow before our host and await a cookie for faithful service. I LIKE THE ONES WITH TOFFEE BITS IN THEM.

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mygif

Your name is pretty damn ironic then, Mister Foley.

And Marty McFly IS John Connor.

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mygif

Sofa King: It’s not just my name; almost everything about me is pretty damn ironic.

And don’t go talking about the Marty McFly/John Connor connection, for gods’ sake. McG is everywhere…

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mygif

Oh trust me…you are NOT crazy. If I wasn’t so busy eliminated Cephalopods then those freakin toaster heads would be promoted to the front of the line. Fuckin Skynet. Metal motherfuckers. Smash everyone of them…till the last bit of light goes out in their eyes. And if that stupid clock radio gives me another nasty look he’s going out the window. I am NOT kidding this time.

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mygif

I’m with you on the cell phones. They are pure evil. I have an old fashioned one that is tethered to the wall, so I know where it is at all times. Fortunately, my computer usually just ignores me. And anything I want it to do, of course.

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