Related Articles

44 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url
mygif
Verklemptomaniac said on August 6th, 2011 at 5:15 pm

No lie, I was thinking virtually this exact same thing today, albeit for Marvel characters instead.

As for other DC Chars:

Blue Beetle (Ted Kord): Gryffindor. Yes, he often professed cowardice, but this is a man who found a enchanted scarab belonging to a previous hero, found it DIDN’T WORK, and said “Screw it, I’m going to be a superhero anyway.” That’s just about the most Gryffindor thing I can think of.

Question: Ravenclaw. Duh.

Robin (Damien Wayne): So, so Slytherin.

ReplyReply
mygif
Brad Ellison said on August 6th, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Slytherin’s also got a claim on non-JLA-member John Constantine.

ReplyReply
mygif
Craig Oxbrow said on August 6th, 2011 at 6:45 pm

What, the new Defence Against Dark Arts teacher?

ReplyReply
mygif

[…] Sore EyesLog inJustice League HogwartsAugust 6th, 2011John Seavey on the prospects that one day the Justice League will go to Hogwarts:Hey, it could happen. The DCU is big, it's got magical, and the Big Two comics companies have a […]

mygif
InterwebHero said on August 6th, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Damien’s no Slytherin! He’s a cocky little bastard and scarily skilled, but his main ambition is to live up to his dad, and he was brave enough to turn his back on his mother’s side of the family and fight crime. Like Sirius Black, he’s a Gryffindor from along line of Slytherins.

ReplyReply
mygif

Amanda Waller is clearly Slytherin given her ambition. Maxwell Lord goes there as well, no matter which characterization you use.

Mr. Terrific is obviously Ravenclaw.

Oliver Queen is so Gryffindor it hurts.

Booster Gold is probably Gryffindor. A clever writer could make Hufflepuff work (and there’s some argument to throwing all of the Fire/Ice/Booster/Beetle/Guy/J’onn core of the JLI into Hufflepuff and going crazy with that), an unclever writer would throw him in Slytherin.

Doomsday is one of Hagrid’s pets.

ReplyReply
mygif

@Verklemptomaniac: Marvel’s next week. :)

ReplyReply
mygif

So where would the Joker fit into Hogwarts?

He doesn’t seem to want power or be ambitious enough for Slytherin, and he’s certainly not loyal to his friends, so he’s not a Hufflepuff. So either he goes into Ravenclaw for his plans within plans within plans way to create chaos…or to Gryffindor, because he’s courageous enough to face someone as dangerous as Batman on a regular basis. Of course, that’s kind of a ridiculous assertion, so I suppose Ravenclaw is the only remaining house where he makes sense.

ReplyReply
mygif
Brad Ellison said on August 6th, 2011 at 11:25 pm

What, the new Defence Against Dark Arts teacher?

I read that fanfic. It was surprisingly good.

ReplyReply
mygif

You made Arthur a Slytherin?!

Sigh.

Actually, the comic book idea I have is a Smallville-inspired idea of having the major DC characters work at a summer camp where wacky teenage hijinks occur.

Marvel at the gathering of teenage heroes and villains run by an ex-military type who happens to have a lot of coincidental connections to everyone’s families! Clark Kent (farmboy), Bruce Wayne (moody rich kid), Hal Jordan (reckless son of a military pilot), Barry Allen (son of a police officer), Arthur Curry (swim coach), and Lex Luthor (cocky rich kid) supervising the boys’ camp! Lana Lang (cheerleader), Lois Lane (military brat), Selina Kyle (troubled teen), Zatanna (manic pixie girl), Dinah Lance (daughter of a police officer), and Diana Prince (mysterious runaway teen who’s good with horses and lassos) supervising the girls’ camp!
With the wacky hijinks involving getting the camp prepared for the moppets! Setting up a stage show! Training horses! Beating up on an escaped mental patient with a hook for a hand! Spooky pirate ghosts! (ghost pirates!) Crashed alien ships in the woods! With Star City detective John Jones meddling in affairs because there’s a threat to one of the campers…
Or has this been done?

ReplyReply
mygif
LightlyFrosted said on August 6th, 2011 at 11:40 pm

I would make the argument that Batman’s actually a pretty good fit for Slytherin these days. Granted it’s not ‘any means’ to achieve his ends, but the man prepared countermeasures against his own (largely invulnerable) teammates effective enough that someone just borrowing them managed to tear through the league pretty quickly. He’s ambitious – again, generally a good ambition – but sometimes the means justify the ends to him.

ReplyReply
mygif
LightlyFrosted said on August 6th, 2011 at 11:41 pm

.. ends/means. Reverse those. Gah.

ReplyReply
mygif
Tim O'Neil said on August 7th, 2011 at 4:31 am

Constantine could never be Slytherin because he grew up poor in a non-magical family. Snape was poor too, but came from old blood. Constantine would be a poor fit for any of the houses simply by his contrary nature, but he’s Ravenclaw if he’s anything.

ReplyReply
mygif

Tim,

that’s irrelevant to the sorting hat. (And wasn’t Tom Riddle not considered particularly old blood when he went in? He certainly wasn’t rich, and I thought the bloodline had to be investigated).

I think Batman clearly belongs in Slytherin, Sims notwithstanding; one of his consistent traits is his need to be in *control* of everything. Another frequent topic is how he’s intent on not being held back; he may not be superpowered, but he’ll still be just as good as the others.

I don’t know enough about her to really make a case, but Big Barda jumped into my mind as someone else who could be in slytherin. (I think it’s easy to throw people into the other three houses, so you have to be careful to give slytherin their just desserts).

ReplyReply
mygif
Tim O'Neil said on August 7th, 2011 at 7:04 am

I agree that Batman would definitely be Slytherin, Sims notwithstanding.

Tom Riddle was the last surviving direct descendent of Salazar Slytherin, which certainly helped his case with the Sorting Hat – his sociopathic tendencies, however, were undoubtedly more important. It is stated that while half-bloods and muggle-borns do get placed in Slytherin, they are relatively rare. The reason for this isn’t difficult to suss, and is right there in the books: the Slytherin attitude is more readily found in the issue of old and powerful wizard families than those of poor and humble half-blood or muggle families. That’s why all of Sirius’ family except for him were Slytherin. Their upbringing (old money, high class) created the mindset that the Sorting Hat would most easily identify with Slytherin. The exceptions were those who, like Snape, were made ambitious despite and not because of their upbringing.

But Constantine still wouldn’t make a good Slytherin, I don’t think. He is just too ornery to belong in any House whose major traits are predicated on a predilection for class distinction. (Remember, the Waynes are old money so Bruce would fit right in with the Malfoys even – or especially! – if he was keeping an eye on them at all times.) Constantine was a punk rocker and an anarchist, after all, before he was a master sorcerer, and he would be sorted to Ravenclaw for the same reason – oddly enough – as Luna Lovegood: just too much of a strong individual to be anywhere else than a place that would let him be as much of an independent smartass as he desired.

ReplyReply
mygif
MechaVelma said on August 7th, 2011 at 8:41 am

@Tales to Enrage – Joker would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher

ReplyReply
mygif

Regarding your last sentence, John…to quote the Cheshire Cat “You must be mad, or you wouldn’t have come here.” 😉

ReplyReply
mygif

Defense against the Dark Arts? Dr. Occult/Rose Psychic would be an interesting fit.

ReplyReply
mygif

There’s Slytherin, and then there’s Slytherin. If it was merely the 25% of the population that were bad apples, they’d be suppressed instead of treated as equals.

… now the hamster on the wheel wonders: what would a major villain raised in house Griffindor look like? Or a wicked Ravenclaw? What story antagonist would be “the horror from Hufflepuff” ?

ReplyReply
mygif
LightlyFrosted said on August 7th, 2011 at 12:20 pm

@Moses: A major villain raised in house Griffindor would probably be the hero who exceeds the bounds of general morality in order to ‘do the right thing’. Kind of an ‘ends justify the means’ sort of thing, but with the defining factor being a perceived courage. After all, people do have more than one defining trait. On a more ‘local’ level of evil, self-righteous bullies.

Wicked Ravenclaw is a little more straightforward. Lots of tales of people who know a lot being scary.

The Horror from Hufflepuff is a group of Lovecraft-esque cultists.

And none of this matters because everyone just thinks the baddies came from Slytherin.

ReplyReply
mygif

@MechaVelma,

I have to admit, the Joker as the Dark Arts teacher is a fascinating case. Most of the class end up dead, maimed, or insane, but whoever’s left would be scary as hell to face.

Also, awesome name.

ReplyReply
mygif

Robins: Dick’s a Hufflepuff, Jason’s a Slytherin, Tim’s a Ravenclaw, Damian’s a Slytherin, Steph’s a Gryffindor.

Cass Batgirl would be a Hufflepuff.

ReplyReply
mygif

While I support the idea of “rehabilitating” the reputation of Slytherin, I’m not sure I quite agree with your reasoning for placing Arthur within that house. Aquaman’s deal really isn’t “ambition”, it’s “duty”. He’s not really the type of character who forces everyone to recognize him as king because he desires the power and position. Rather, whenever he winds up being king, it’s because he sees it as his duty, and because he recognizes that he’s the best person for the job (in terms of who will be accepted, because of his bloodline; and the extra powers he has supporting his ability to be king). He often seems like he has to be convinced to take on the role; and sometimes, he rejects it.

You might still be able to make a case for him as a Slytherin rather than a Gryffindor… but I just wouldn’t make it on the basis of “ambition”, is all.

And I agree with others — Batman is your best example of a good Slytherin.

ReplyReply
mygif

@Jeff, there is no way Dick is a Hufflepuff. Athletic, confident, brave (there was a story in the late 80s where he was considered a successor GL to Hal Jordan)… He’s more Gryffindor than anything.

ReplyReply
mygif

I’ve only ever liked the Batman Brave and the Bold cartoon interpretation of Aquaman, and this guy is clearly a not too bright Gryffindor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T837zAuUMLA

ReplyReply
mygif

I’m just not sure because I have it so firmly in my head that Hogwarts is in the Marvel Universe. Rather an enjoyable fanfic.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3933832/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Invincible_TechnoMage

Fun when they try to overturn the adoption paperwork and one of Harry’s adoptive father’s friends arrives to object in the manner of the Old Norse.

ReplyReply
mygif

There really aren’t any heroes of the DCU that come to be good candidates for Slytherin. Only one I could think of would be Brainiac 5 and even then he’d be a better fit for Ravenclaw.

ReplyReply
mygif
Wolfthomas said on August 8th, 2011 at 3:10 am

I think while Batman is definitely a Ravenclaw, I think the more interesting story would be about Bruce Wayne as a Slytherin. Affecting the personality of an old money elitist full blood but secretly helping Harry.

ReplyReply
mygif
MonkeyWithTypewriter said on August 8th, 2011 at 8:51 am

Defense against the Dark Arts? Professor Jason Blood. And Batman would infiltrate someone into Slytherin. Teth-Adam?

ReplyReply
mygif

Does it mean Harvey Dent would be allowed in 2 houses? The guy is kind of a mental mess so it’s a bit hard to determinate where he belongs.Heads;Gryffindor, Tails:Slytherin?
My Boy Impulse would be in Hufflepuff ,Hitman would be in Gryffindor, Neron in slytherin (demon also have a right of scolarship!),Kon-El in Gryffindor,Tim in Ravenclaw, Damian wayne in the basilic’s stomach (Well Joker said it would be cruelty to animals to deprive the poor snake of its dinner, sooo….) & Superboy Prime’s head on a pike next to a troll’s cave (well everyone belongs somewhere somehow….)

ReplyReply
mygif

@gnosis If not Brainiac 5, then definitely Brainiac 2/Vril Dox.

Also Slytherin: The Doom Patrol’s Chief (with the rest of the classic Patrol being Hufflepuffs).

And Ozymandias, of course.

ReplyReply
mygif

@Johnathan, ooooh true. Totally forgot about Vril Dox. Lyrl Dox too probably.

ReplyReply
mygif
Scavenger said on August 8th, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Constantine would drop out before the whole sorting thing.

I had been toying for awhile with the idea of writing a fic with him coming to Hogwarts as a guest lecturer invited by Dumbledore. The established teachers would dislike him, but Dumbledore was amused by him. He’d basicly be there to explian how dosh the “wizard world” is, with their no knowledge of the real world. I had the idea of during a lecture he’d show how worthless a sheild spell was by pulling out a revolver and shooting through one.

I ran into that other than that scene, I had no story, and that I don’t actually write fan fiction.

ReplyReply
mygif
Tom Scudder said on August 8th, 2011 at 7:54 pm

… looks up Power Man and Iron Fist #73 …

Marvel doesn’t have the rights to ROM any more? Really? What a bummer.

ReplyReply
mygif
NCallahan said on August 8th, 2011 at 8:13 pm

People miss the big picture here — John wouldn’t get sorted. He’d dupe the Sorting Hat into putting him right where he’d want to be. Which is in Hufflepuff.

And then he’d teach the rest to art of bastard fu.

ReplyReply
mygif

All Green Lanterns are Gryffindors with the exception of Kyle Rayner (pre-Geoff Johns.) All Lanterns are fearless with the exception of Kyle. Dream says it himself in Morrison’s run on JLA: (paraphrasing) “Why do you doubt yourself? You know the one thing Jordan did not: fear. You will surpass him.”

Kyle is Hufflepuff.

(and Constantine would probably make friends with the Sorting Hat before being sorted thus condemning the Hat to a good death and effectively ruining the class system of Hogwarts. He ain’t no slave to the Venus of the hardsell.)

ReplyReply
mygif

I don’t think Aquaman would be in Slytherin. I think the clearest place for him would be living in the lake on the castle grounds.

ReplyReply
mygif

No matter which house Constantine would get picked for, EVERYBODY would soon learn to stay far, far away from the man, since even the slightest relationship would only end in horrible disaster… if they’re LUCKY. Also, he’s kinda old to be a student, though he’d be more effective as a Defence Against Dark Arts teacher. He managed to cheat the Devil multiple times, and pitted forces stronger than him against each other. Hell, any class that’d survive after one semester would qualify for instant graduation since they’d show their ability to handle anything. Their lessons would pale in comparison to anything Voldemort could dream up.

Not to mention that Constantine’s so badass that he doesn’t even need a wand to cast any of his spells. He was able to drive a prison of hardcore prisoners mad using just a pack of cigarettes, candles and cards ALONE. God knows what he’d do if handed any REAL power? Oh, and Scavenger’s description of showing the limited usefulness of a shield spell versus firing a handgun sounds a lot like Harry Dresden.

ReplyReply
mygif

The classic (and tragically unfinished) fanfic Hellblazer: Hogwarts had the Sorting Hat go through a very long process of elimination before choosing which House would be the best fit for Constantine: Hufflepuff.

While Constantine has bravery in spades, and can be as treacherous as the worst out there when he feels it’s warranted, and is too smart for his (or almost anyone’s) own good, in the end his motivation comes down to one simple thing: He sees a situation that isn’t right, and he takes steps to save the weak and defenseless from those who would prey upon them, no matter the cost to himself. In the end it comes down to setting things right and helping people, and that’s as classic a Hufflepuff motivation as could be.

ReplyReply
mygif
Jilliterate said on August 10th, 2011 at 12:54 am

@PaulW:

I’ve got no problem with Dick being in Hufflepuff — Hufflepuffs can be brave, and strong, and wise. It’s just that a few other traits come to the forefront. The important one in this case, I think, is a devotion to justice and “fair play,” which in our superhero world, is egalitarianism. This is something that would apply to a lot of heroes, since they take up the job of hero-ing to protect weaker people from being exploited and put into unfair situations by criminals. Conversely, most of the Bat-family rocks some Ravenclaw-level intelligence, but I think Dick in particular stands out someone who embodies that devotion to equality and justice.

Since we seem to be striving to come up with some good Slitherins, my DC nominee would be Booster Gold, in his lower moments. He’s certainly been self-serving at times, and while he’s been doing better lately, he still has a tendency to abuse the time travel to get what he want, even when it’s as noble as trying to save dead friends. Thanks to his recent character growth, I think he’s more a Gryffindor now, bravely trying to be the hero of the Greatest Story Never Told.

I think Marvel’s Slytherin would be Punisher. While most superheroes are of course trying to stop “evil,” Punisher is actually in the process of doing it, in a very literal way, with weaponry, and will spend his whole life doing so. If that’s not ambition, I don’t know what is.

ReplyReply
mygif

Regarding the question of what non-Slytherin villainy looks like:

Low-level Gryffindor evil looks like the Marauders, or like the Weasley twins. The kind of casual, we’re-good-you’re-non-human thinking typified by “Because he exists” and nearly-murderous “pranks” like the ones Snape and Montague survived.

The Weasley twins’ experimentalist nature also shows a possible path for Ravenclaw villainy. When you value knowledge above all else… well. The historical examples aren’t quite as funny as Dudley and the toffee or as easily fixed as the eleven-year-olds tricked into being guinea pigs for the sickness-inducing candy the Weasleys made, but are easier to see as villainy.

One possible form Hufflepuff evil can take shows up in the books, wears pink, resembles a toad, and bangs on about rules and regulations and standardized testing. Hufflepuff villains are more frightening than most others because they are the house of getting things done. Where your average Ravenclaw would come up with systems and plans but spend so long working out every detail (or get distracted by a more intellectually interesting project) that they never get implemented, and your average Gryffindor might go ahead and implement whatever half-assed idea came into their head (because something must be done! and this is something!) without necessarily thinking it through very well, a Hufflepuff will see a problem, *talk to other people about it* to come up with the best solution, and roll up their sleeves and get to work.

This trait, incidentally, is why every Slytherin (or Ravenclaw with Slytherin ascendant, like I am) knows that Hufflepuffs make the best henchpeople, assuming you’re careful to not threaten or harm any of the Hufflepuffs’ friends or families.

More relevantly to the post, I vote Batman (or rather, eleven-year-old Bruce Wayne) in Slytherin, with Ravenclaw as fallback. Although whether he would let/make the Hat Sort him into Slytherin is an interesting question. (Slytherins get a terrible rep–but one which might help reinforce the image he goes for as Brucie; being in with the house most likely to have future Death Eaters and current Dark Arts practitioners would be tremendously useful.) As a rule of thumb, though, anyone whose calculations about how to try to influence the Sorting Hat for or against a particular house are that complex, they *belong* in Slytherin.

ReplyReply
mygif
Tim O'Neil said on August 10th, 2011 at 4:41 am

One thing people seem to be forgetting is that the Sorting Hat usually *asks* before making a final decision – it asked Hermione if she wanted to be placed in Ravenclaw, and tried to put Harry into Slytherin before he protested. Manipulating the hat isn’t necessary since it’s usually very polite about accommodating peoples’ preferences.

And about Constantine – just remember that the Ravenclaw motto is “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.” Not courage, not friendship, not loyalty, not love, not ambition, not even power. Just wit. Who does that describe to a T?

ReplyReply
mygif
dangermouse said on August 10th, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Constantine would burn the house down.

ReplyReply
mygif

Batgirl in Ravenclaw? If you’re talking about Cassandra Cain, then Cass is a good-guy Slytherin.

ReplyReply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please Note: Comment moderation may be active so there is no need to resubmit your comments