So for those of you who do not follow wrestling: the Rock is back, and he is feuding with CM Punk. For some net.savvy wrestling fans, this is sort of problematic, because normally when INTARNET FAVRIT CM Punk is feuding with another wrestler, it is usually someone the internet does not like so much, like John Cena or Ryback. But the internet wrestling fandom is fond of the Rock, because the Rock, back in the day, was quite a fun wrestler before he went off to make movies. So this leads internet wrestling writers to write things like this if they do not like the Rock, or at least if they like CM Punk much better than the Rock. (Which people generally should. See this famous 2011 promo. Or this one from last week, now that he is a bad guy again, which is arguably even better.)
Last night on Raw, the Rock did his Rock Concert. Which is a nice way of saying that the Rock came out with his guitar and sung songs that were full of third-grade-level insults. It was a real “oh man nobody come into the room and see me watching wrestling right now” sort of moment, of the sort I normally only experience whenever Jerry Lawler opens his stupid fucking mouth to babble about pretty girls or make lame ethnic jokes.1 At first, I thought the worst bit would be when the Rock started making fat jokes about Paul Heyman, but then Rock decided to sing about how Vickie Guerrero is an ugly bitch whore. (No, quite literally.)
It is 2013. There is just no excuse for this crap any more. Not when you can see men and women wrestling against one another like equals:
(Seriously, watch the whole thing, it’s fucking awesome.)
But the worst bit of it is that the Rock should know better. He’s not a stupid man, nor is he particularly Neanderthalic in his social attitudes (as his role choices, candid interviews and general public persona have made apparent over the years). You don’t need to call Vickie Guerrero an ugly bitch whore when you can point out that she (well, her character, but you get the point) is selfish, conniving, egotistical, hypocritical and just plain mean. You don’t need to call Paul Heyman “Twinkle Tits” (which, coming from the Rock, who famously had pectoral surgery to get rid of his man-boobs early in his career, is a little… okayyyyyy) when you can point out that he is two-faced, dishonest, and always looks out for Number One above all else. You can mock people like a grownup.
- Seriously, I am glad Jerry Lawler did not die from his heart attack. You know what he should do now? Take it easy on his heart and fucking retire forever. [↩]