The King William’s College Quiz has come and gone for another year, and of course its insistence that quiz-takers “know a lot of things” of course just makes the whole thing harder than it really needs to be. Therefore, once again we bring you the Not Quite The King William’s College Quiz, which we promise is not quite as hard as its namesake and panders to nerds shamelessly. Probably the latter is more important to nerds.
a. Whose first instinct was not to feed the tarantula?
b. Who once crashed into a car on purpose?
c. Who always wanted to be a hawk?
d. What promoted rust?
e. Who considered herself an underachiver?
f. Which pair of gardeners hated one another?
g. Who kept nunchaku in his trousers?
h. Who was unaffected by fifty-dollar words?
i. Who explained that knowledge of kung fu was a statutory requirement in his home?
a. Who changed his name when he became a matador?
b. Who informed the audience that he knew his enemies had a secret?
c. who was followed by jealousy everywhere he went?
d. Who was given property by the seaside?
e. Who used their knowledge of soldier’s songs in pursuit of a seat in the Senate?
f. Who was defiantly proud of not being a work of art?
g. Who loved fried boar’s tripe with honey?
h. Who invented the latest thing in baths?
i. Who argued that peace was beyond all price?
a. Who liked toast, but was suspicious of muffins?
b. Who was concerned about the expense of nuclear weapons?
c. Who was given a bare belly when he was hit with 200 million volts of electricity?
d. Who gained superpowers from a starfish?
e. Who once went to purchase uranium for children?
f. Whose reincarnation involved ketchup?
g. Who was too smart for hard work?
h. Who always wore a floatation device so that he would not drown?
i. Who earned a dollar for peeling potatoes?
a. Who was once endowed with the power of love?
b. Who was adopted by a demon?
c. Who refused to fight the King of the Rock?
d. Which rose was plucked by the younger son of a king?
e. Who remembered a cat?
f. Who hated the smell of humans?
g. Who is estimated to have a fortune exceeding one billion dollars?
h. Who believed there was a star expressly for her?
i. Whose middle names were the result of a local tradition?
a. Who was the brother of a mortician?
b. Who appeared in pornography under an assumed, but real, name?
c. Who considered amaretto a “wussy drink”?
d. Who started smoking at the age of nine?
e. Who did not discover he had a son until he was thirty-two?
f. Who considered the revelation of his baldness a firing offense?
g. Who assisted in an escape from a Dyson Sphere?
h. Who had a firm belief about the distinction between a custodian and a janitor?
i.Which journalist refused to speak to her birth mother?
a. Who once requested some French cologne?
b. Who gave up his dream to move to Italy?
c. Who acted only in the ultimate greater interest?
d. Who knew that the form of the devil was a griffin with wings of leather?
e. Who was a fool without a crown?
f. Who committed suicide and then helped a soul escape Purgatory?
g. Who always considered being from Texas to be a capital crime?
h. Who was born and raised in a bad block?
i. Who was a 1951 model?