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Salieri said on April 6th, 2008 at 9:58 am

Who is this super hero?

Sarge? …No. Too alcoholic.

Rosemary, the telephone operator? …No. She has to pick up her girlfriend at five.

Penry, the mild-mannered janitor? …No, he slipped on a poorly-placed mop and broke his jaw, remember?

That one Japanese bear on the news? …COULD BE!

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Katherine F. said on April 6th, 2008 at 10:49 am

For the first ten seconds it was cute. Then I remembered reading about how zoo animals develop repetitive behaviours to deal with the stress of captivity, and I couldn’t help wondering whether this is the bear’s version of writing emo poetry.

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LurkerWithout said on April 6th, 2008 at 11:04 am

KUMA!

*starts Tekken music*

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Dane said on April 6th, 2008 at 11:41 am

Last time I did math gun > stick, so I think we’re good.

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Bear Fu! « mooreroom said on April 6th, 2008 at 11:52 am

[...] Hat tip to MightyGodKing. [...]

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MDK said on April 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Kata is an ineffective training method. Until they realize this, the bears will continue to lose the Kumite.

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rwe1138 said on April 6th, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Colbert was right!!!

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Kyle said on April 6th, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Of COURSE Colbert was right. He’s an improvisational genius with a stable of good writers who does a clever bit mostly in character. Like sci-fi, if you make enough predictions, some are bound to be right.

Cute bear, Katherine F makes a good point about it probably being depressed.

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Andrew said on April 6th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

I’ll worry about AIDs and baby rape in Africa or even emo kids getting attacked in Mexico before I start worrying about some bear being sad.

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Reagen said on April 7th, 2008 at 2:30 am

Apparently bears watch Star Wars too.

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Zenrage said on April 7th, 2008 at 3:47 am

Katherine F: Nice post.

You should see what the polar bear does at Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison, WI. There is nearly no room for it to move around, so it just paces a few feet in each direction. Its pitiful in every sense of the word.

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Quietus said on April 7th, 2008 at 5:06 am

Andrew: Nicer rebuttal. You have just rationalized my fully guilt-free enjoyment of this video.

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Stephen said on April 7th, 2008 at 6:10 am

Sir, let me give you this picture of me.

For you shall never see me like that in person.

We are not amused.

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k261/Moolieaux/StevenColbertSexy.jpg

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Rob Brown said on April 8th, 2008 at 4:00 am

I’ll worry about AIDs and baby rape in Africa or even emo kids getting attacked in Mexico before I start worrying about some bear being sad.

So basically you’re saying that you don’t give a shit about animals so long as something worse is happening elsewhere?

By that logic, you shouldn’t care if your neighbor gets robbed either, because it’s not as bad as AIDS or baby rape and you’re indifferent to all but the most serious tragedies.

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Quietus said on April 8th, 2008 at 12:32 pm

No, he’s saying that the emotional issues of a bear pales in comparison with more pressing issues of the human condition. What’s the bear going to do, maul itself?

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Rob Brown said on April 8th, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Yeah, and your emotional issues pale in comparison with more pressing issues too. That doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t care about you.

If Katherine had compared what the bear’s repetetive behaviour to an autistic human being rocking back and forth all day instead of to “emo poetry”, would you be this apathetic?

You can look at the bear and think about how being confined might be making it absolutely miserable and think “gee, that’s too bad” and still worry about the stuff Andrew mentioned, you know. But instead you make jokes about a bear–one that we all thought was pretty cute the first time we saw this video–wanting to maul itself (and you know, maybe things are bad enough for it that it DOES want to die).

I’m glad that Zenrage understands, at least.

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MGK said on April 8th, 2008 at 11:22 pm

For what it’s worth, Rob, I went and checked up on this story, and the zookeepers in charge of caring for the bear’s needs think the bear is mostly content. It stopped playing with sticks for a couple years, then started up again, then stopped. They kind of look at it as a hobby.

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Rob Brown said on April 8th, 2008 at 11:36 pm

OK, that’s good to know. It looks like a nice enough space, but you can’t really get a good sense from the limited part we’re seeing, so I wondered what it was like.

Anyway, thank you.

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Quietus said on April 9th, 2008 at 1:10 pm

If Katherine had compared what the bear’s repetetive behaviour to an autistic human being rocking back and forth all day instead of to “emo poetry”, would you be this apathetic?

Of course not. Because then it would be a human.

Duh.

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Quietus said on April 9th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

I’m referring to the emotional needs of an autistic human being suffering from distress versus the supposed emotional needs of a freakin’ bear. Anthropomorphism can only go so far, people.

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