As selected by me, naturally. (I fully admit that there are many that might have been funnier than these to some people, but these were the funniest that were also, I feel, directly parodic of the image or the Archie ouevre itself, and given that Canadian fair dealing law protects parody and not free-ranging satire, etc.)
Dialogue by Amara.
Dialogue by teh_no.
Dialogue by Mr. Rakshasa.
Dialogue by Zorba The Hutt.
Dialogue by Jim Smith.
Dialogue by Peter Hayward.
Dialogue by Myrna.
Dialogue by Thomas Wilde.
Dialogue by gooner21.
Dialogue by Greg Morrow.
Dialogue by Cappadocius.
Dialogue by Mark Hale.
Dialogue by alliterator.
Dialogue by J. Bryan Shoup.
Dialogue by potatocubed.
Dialogue by Mike Smith.
Dialogue by bluejeanphoenix.
Dialogue by yours truly.
Dialogue by akhlut.
Dialogue by Mighty Dog King.
Dialogue by Mighty Odd King.
Dialogue by Kiru Banzai.
Dialogue by Louis.
Dialogue by galamb_borong.
Dialogue by Andy Hunsaker.
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24 users responded in this post
There comes a point where needlessly harpooning a subject matter extends itself to the desire to pick up the original material and simply cherish it for the subtle context that has added to the cultural evolution of society held deep within its pages.
Fortunately, Archie comics still suck raw toejam and I wont have to worry about that happening any time soon.
Could it be that there really WAS a Kant??? Fascinating!
“Could it be that there really WAS a Kant??? Fascinating!”
That’s a joke, right? Plasse say it’s a joke.
Note to self: Do not read Improved Archie while drinking morning tea. …..ow.
Ah, yes, I was hoping the last one would make the grade. (And, of course, all the copycat anuses that came down the pipe later.)
Will the competition ever be re-opened?
“Space Islam”. Wow.
–d
I never got the previous “popcorn, bitch!” one…
“Popcorn, Motherfucker!” gets an honorable mention.
Holy water in the chilli.
Any chance of getting a non-publicized online repository of all the Archie images somewhere? For MGK readers only?
[...] I’m hoping it’s Mightygodking’s vastly Improved Archie that outlives us [...]
Yay! Thanks so much, MGK!
I remember the last one from my childhood, and it was pretty much exactly the same exchange with less explicit/more forced dialogue.
Thank god this was finally posted!
And by “God,” of course, I mean MGK.
Oh how I miss Improved Archie. What are the odds of it returning in some way?
“That’s a joke, right? Plasse say it’s a joke.”
Yes it was, don’t worry.
I remembered the “stat” post from December 1st, this part to be exact:
FLAPJACKS: Still, I assume I will generally not urgently need people to tell me about Kant or whatever.
(Pause.)
ME: Do you actually know anything about existential philosophy, or did you just pick “Kant” as a philosopical-sounding name at random and hope your reference would be right?
FLAPJACKS: The second one.
ME: I thought so.
Up until now I thought it was jut a philosophical-sounding name, but turns out there WAS a Kant and he WAS a philosopher.
I should never, ever doubt that Flapjacks doesn’t know what he’s talking about. That’s what I’m taking away from this.
Oops, I meant to say that I should never, ever doubt Flapjacks DOES know what he’s talking about. (I think.)
“Up until now I thought it was jut a philosophical-sounding name, but turns out there WAS a Kant and he WAS a philosopher.”
See, as someone who knew beforehand that Kant was a real philosopher, I figured that without knowing that you wouldn’t appreciate the joke.
Joy! Man, I have missed these. As a former contestant and rare winner (under the nom de Interweb JJGalahad), I still have fond memories of the comedy gold that each one of those posts created.
And I still can’t hear the name Orville Redenbacher without thinking “Popcorn, Motherfuckers!”
Oh, how I’ve missed this… and the weekly contest.
“Any chance of getting a non-publicized online repository of all the Archie images somewhere? For MGK readers only?”
It already exists. I won’t post direct links since I don’t want to inadvertently get MGK in trouble with the law, but I will say that it’s really not that hard to find – you just have to know where to look.
I love you.
[...] from “So You Think You Can Dance?” to Photoshop: witness his modified versions of Archie comics and old fantasy novels. But he reached a new level last month, when he devoted every day of the [...]
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