Jul

UPDATE: Betty Cooper still insane

Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics

Via Jaime, proof of both Betty’s delusional character and the fact that Jughead is aware of how deadly she is:

That would be Betty, imagining Jughead to be Archie, and trying to fuck-strangle him to death.

The Improved Archie’s Fear (May 13th, 2014)
Improved Archie: The Ragin’ Climax (April 8th, 2014)
Archie Comics: The Improved Story (March 11th, 2014)
Who’s Afraid of Improved Archie? (January 30th, 2014)
Fifty Improvements of Archie (December 3rd, 2013)

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Keogh said on July 7th, 2009 at 10:33 am

She’s crazy! Crazy, I tell you!

LurkerWithout said on July 7th, 2009 at 10:57 am

Sure Betty’s crazy enough. But still. Very hot…

PaulW said on July 7th, 2009 at 11:25 am

How did Betty get within 10 feet of Jughead like that? After all, Jughead carries with him antidotes to Betty’s toxins within the pins stuck to his crown. He’s got Archie Rescue Gear ™ in his car trunk. His awareness of Betty’s psychosis approaches meta levels. And yet she’s still able to attack him thinking he’s somehow Archie.
The bad news is that the blow-dart Jughead needs to stop Betty’s rampage is in the heel of the shoe Betty just ‘conveniently’ knocked away. She knows.

Jeffrey said on July 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

“Darn” the torpedoes? What, like knitting?

Sage Freehaven said on July 7th, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Betty Cooper will become the next Jigsaw.

Chadhulhu said on July 7th, 2009 at 12:42 pm

I’d rather have Betty, than the Digital bitch Ronnie. (Now there is an “80’s” reference.lol

Lister Sage said on July 7th, 2009 at 12:53 pm

So do you think Jughead has this white knight fantasy is his head wherein he saves Archie from the vicious claws of Betty, scoops Arc up in his arms and they live happily ever after?

John W said on July 7th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Hooch vs Betty Cooper.

Who wins?

Craig Oxbrow said on July 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Batman.

… What, it’s not one of those comic fight questions?

Zenrage said on July 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Would you look at the language here?

To grab the brass ring on a merry-go-round you have to stick your fingers in the hole and hang on tight. “Up to the hilt” is a reference to stabbing someone with a sword up to the hilt. Torpedoes? Ramming speed?

This is the speech of a serial rapist. Now that previous Archie/Betty bondage scene makes more sense. Betty more than likely has a collection of strap-on dildos of various sizes and shapes – from transparent plastic to spiked and razor sharp.

Woe to any man who she captures, because its obvious no safeword will ever save him once Betty is fully engrossed in one of her violent rape-fantasies.

This may explain why there are no other red-headed males living in Riverdale… at least not anymore.

Run, Jughead!! Run!! Run until your ankles are bloody stumps!

guayec said on July 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

and trying to fuck-strangle him to death

So maybe Betty thought David Carradine was Archie too?

Too soon?

Al said on July 7th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

At the risk of summoning a do-over of the Internet’s 14th stupidest fight (you may think it’s a low number but seriously, the Internet is THAT stupid):
bitch is CRAZY

Matt B said on July 7th, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Apparently Jughead is friends with the Little Rascals.

lance lunchmeat said on July 7th, 2009 at 5:45 pm

addition to my earlier request: BETTY AND REX slash fiction.

S_Holmes said on July 7th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

@Jeffrey – It’s a reference to US Admiral David Farragut, a navy officer during the American Civil War. At the battle of Mobile Bay, he was warned by his crew that mines (called ‘torpedoes’ back then) were strewn about the harbour, and that an attack may prove costly. That’s when he delivered his now famous line: “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!”

Chris Lowrance said on July 7th, 2009 at 10:45 pm

I think this is from earlier on, before Jughead’s realized she’s more than a little lovesick. Hell, this could be the event that LED to the truck full of gear. As he lay in the hospital, recovering from cracked ribs, a bruised trachea and numerous scratches and bite-marks, he had nothing but time. Time to finally put the pieces together in his head.

Also, I don’t think he’s gay for Archie. Jughead IS homosexual, which is why he’s the only male in town not turned into a blithering moron by the likes of Betty and Veronica.

Mad Scientist said on July 7th, 2009 at 10:47 pm

Yes, but darning has to do with knitting, Holmes….

Zenrage said on July 7th, 2009 at 11:15 pm

I don’t think Jughead is homosexual. He’s just annoyed by his options.

Plus Jughead feels like he’s the only one who can see how sick Betty Cooper is, so he really doesn’t have time for any kind of romantic distraction as long as she’s still on the loose.

S_Holmes said on July 8th, 2009 at 2:05 am

@Mad Scientist – or it’s a curse word that you can slip into Archie comics.

Paul Wilson said on July 8th, 2009 at 3:06 am

Where the fuck does his sock go in Panel 2?

Dierna said on July 8th, 2009 at 3:14 am

Zenrage,

No other red headed males? Why yes there is.. Cheryl’s twin brother, Jason. He and Betty have actually dated.

PaulW said on July 8th, 2009 at 8:17 am

@Paul Wilson,

That sock was where the blow-dart was stored. Betty destroyed it.

Zenrage said on July 8th, 2009 at 9:08 am

Dierna,

Jason Blossom lives in Pembrooke and most likely within a gated community – which is most likely why he is still breathing and not sharing a shallow grave with some other anonymous Riverdale redhead.

Boggle said on July 9th, 2009 at 3:43 am

MGK, This is the most fascinating series of articles you do. If you wrote a dissertation on this subject, I would buy it in a flash. Fascinating. But what about Veronica? Isn’t she just a dominatrix? Or maybe a secret submissive???

Trilobite said on July 9th, 2009 at 10:32 am

So, did they ever try a “Jughead The Woman Hater” spinoff title? Because that doesn’t sound like it has LESS potential than your typical Archie comic.

Marshall said on September 4th, 2010 at 8:35 am

IF I had Betty chasing me, wouldn’t catch me running away .. The next comic frame would have a censor bar in front …

UPDATE: Betty Cooper still insane

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