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Tales to Enrage said on June 23rd, 2010 at 9:07 am

“Reggie’s Giant, Archie’s Small! Girls don’t like him, not at all!”

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“Reggie, the tribbles you sold us are carnivorous!”

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EAT HER OUT JUGGIE! EAT HER OUT JUGGIE~!

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Reggie in a suit! As fake as our roots!

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Golly Jughead, watch where you stick that nose! Not even my dog is that shameless!

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Look, look, look at my crotch!
Look, look, look at my crotch!
(etc.)

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MirrorMan said on June 23rd, 2010 at 10:53 am

” I told you I could get them to wear their panties for a change!”

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“The discourse of truth is quite simply impossible. It eludes itself. Everything eludes itself, everything scoffs at its own truth, seduction renders everything elusive. The fury to unveil the truth, to get at the naked truth, the one which haunts all discourses of interpretation, the obscene rage to uncover the secret, is proportionate to the impossibility of ever achieving this. GIMME AN R!!!”

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WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS! WE WEAR SHORT SHORTS!

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NCallahan said on June 23rd, 2010 at 12:17 pm

“Everybody lives!”

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“He’s the greatest in the land! We don’t even miss our hands! More sur-ger-y is what we need, for his human cent-i-pede!”

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Archie never quite understood his dreams…

Cheerleaders singing soundlessly before an atomic explosion.
Reggie hosting a talk show.
Jughead’s disembodied head.

…but none of this would stop him from frantically masturbating until he woke up.

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Let’s hear it for testing negative on the tests that really count!

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Craig Oxbrow said on June 23rd, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Go Don Draper, GO!

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GoatToucher said on June 23rd, 2010 at 3:29 pm

“Christ, what an asshole.”

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The original final scene for the LOST finale.

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“They’re seriously THIS big!”

“You heard the ladies.”

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“Who wants a foursome! Who wants a foursome!”

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J. Bryan Shoup said on June 23rd, 2010 at 7:19 pm

“Senor Reginaldo dice: Roll those R’s, roll those R’s, you gringo pricks!”

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Dr. Creaux said on June 23rd, 2010 at 8:05 pm

“One of us, one of us, we will make you one of us!”

DC

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When are you gonna post the winners for these? I don’t wanna go through unimporved archies…

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solid snake said on June 23rd, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Jughead, how do you know the one on the right is the only true redhead in the group?

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“NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE”

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REGGIE wins the CHALLENGE! His COTTON CANDY is the BEST!

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@Brad Hanon: You can’t see it, but I’m pulling my that’s-so-wrong face. ;-)

As for the pic: this is Glee’s Riverdale episode, right?

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“Reggie’s got fetishes, yes he do!!!
Reggie’s got fetishes, how ’bout you?!?”

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Da Reg-Dog ain’t nothin’ to fuck with! HOLLA!

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“Flesh-colored panties! Great idea, Reggie!”

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“Reggie! Reggie! He’s the best! Better than all the rest!

Go, Reggie, GooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooAh!”

thinks (*pant pant* Let’s try that one more time, just to make sure we’ve got it down PERFECT.)

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Verklemptomaniac said on June 24th, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Why do our skirts flip as we rise? o/~
This gravitational anomaly is quite a surprise! o/~
Unless it’s just another Reggie trick! o/~
No wonder he looks like a smarmy pr*ck! o/~

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Al Ewing said on June 25th, 2010 at 8:41 am

“Betty, sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.”

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“Two, four, six, eight, who do we- NOTHING LIKE DILTON HAS EVER COME AMONG YOU; NOTHING WILL AGAIN.”

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ABOVE: Reginald Mantle demonstrates his steam-powered cheerbots at a high school pep rally. Mantle would be one of the early victims of the steampunk robot uprising, which to the surprise of contemporary experts was not a reaction to perceived human inefficiencies but rather a consequence of the A.I.s’ natural distaste towards crude sexual remarks and creepy smirks.

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Smileyfax said on June 28th, 2010 at 7:10 pm

“Where’s the pickle? That’s the surprise!”

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