Number of times “fuck” normally uttered during morning wakeup ritual: 0-1.
Number of times “fuck” normally uttered during morning wakeup ritual when it is really really cold and the building’s radiators are doing an inadequate job of warming it and the hot water isn’t working properly so you have to have a lukewarm shower: 237.
Related Articles
4 users responded in this post
Intelligent Design sayeth: Goddidit.
So really, all that’s left to explain is what you did to piss off God.
Come on, don’t be shy. Ceiling cat already knows.
Obviously, the universe is precognitively anticipating how many times you’ll say fuck and punishing you for it. Why are you so mean to the universe?
From my personal empirical data, I find that the count for “fuck” has been surpassed by the count for the word “shit”.
Revised hypothesis: “shit” is easier to say through clenched, chattering teeth.
My personal axiom is that the colder it is, the fewer words it takes to express the sentiment.
Cold: “Dang, it’s cold.”
Really cold: “Jesus Christ!”
Oxygen-freezing cold: “FUCK!”