ME: Hi. My phone got smashed up and I need a new phone but I don’t want to spend a lot of money.
CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON (of company that shall go unnamed but which rhymes with “Bodgers”): Certainly. What’s your account status?
ME: I’ve been month-to-month with you for a few years now.
BODGERS: I see. So you’re not under a contract?
ME: No.
BODGERS: In that case, the best I can do is offer you (shitty phone) for $100.
ME: Wait, though. I’m willing to enter into a contract in order to get a cheap phone. Or a free one. Whichever.
BODGERS: All right.
ME: Like, I see you’ve got a basic business plan here, $25 for 200 anytime minutes per month. That’s simple and suits me.
BODGERS: Okay, then I can offer you (shitty phone) for $79.
ME: …but it says here on the website that it costs $25.
BODGERS: That’s for a new customer.
ME: But that doesn’t make any sense. I’m offering to enter into the same brand new contract that a new customer would. I just want to keep my existing phone number.
BODGERS: I can’t really do anything. It’s policy.
ME: So you’re saying that if I cancelled my account, then called you right back and created a brand new one, that I could get the phone at the cheaper rate. Or, for that matter, an entirely different phone of better quality, which would still cost less than what you’re quoting me right now.
BODGERS: Yes.
ME: But if I want to keep my existing account, as regards which I have not missed a payment for years, I have to spend extra money to get the same phone that you would give to a new customer for less, regardless of the fact that I’m willing to enter into the same contract that he is.
BODGERS: Yes.
ME: What’s the incentive for me to keep from simply shutting down my account and signing up with one of your competitors, who will offer me a free and nicer phone when I sign into their contract?
BODGERS: To tell you the truth, I’m not really sure.
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19 users responded in this post
My dad delights in calling DirecTV and pointing out this exact same logic in their promotions, until they wither under his onslaught and offer him a bunch of discounts and stuff. The lesson being that they will treat loyal customers as well as new customers, but only the whiny loyal customers.
You’d think that would be the case, but they wouldn’t actually budge.
Ten years ago I worked on the more technical side of the cell industry, and the trade rags were about half articles on new technologies to help prevent ‘churn’, or people swapping from you to another company.
They haven’t seemed to figure out that as long as it makes way more financial sense for people to keep switching than stay with a company, it’ll just keep happening.
I have had dealings with the company you’re referring to, and: never again. The quality of customer service was so low that I almost called the cops on them. Without exhausting a quarter of the complaints I had about them over a period of about a month or two, I encountered what I could interpret as lying, vandalism, theft and fraud.
Well, at least the guy was honest at the end.
And now, with number portability, it’s not even terribly inconvenient to change providers. Virgin was particularly keen to play this up, with Branson doing some damn stunt or other to promote it. You’d think that Uncle Ted would have adapted by now, but, alas, monopoly has atrophied his brain.
This is why I never have owned or will own a cell phone
I’ve read over on BNet (or some site or other linked from GameFAQs) that some companies, like AOL, actually train employees to do things that are unethical, including lying and fraud. That said, I kind of want to get a job with “Bodgers.” They can’t expect that much quality in their personnel if this happens a lot, and I can’t say that I’d feel guilty about being as inept as you guys are talking about. At least, not great enough guilt that goods and/or services I would exchange the monies paid to me by Bodgers for couldn’t assuage.
Similar thing happened to me down here in the states with Cingular. They were jerking me around so much I jogged across the highway to the Verizon store, got a new phone and a new plan, kept the same number, and paid less, all in about 15 minutes. I went back to the Cingular store because my car was there, but I did stick my head in and tell them what happened. They looked ashamed.
Call again – different rep often means different rules. If that fails “Let me speak to a supervisor please.”
If that fails, hang up, call again, ask for their name immediately, THEN ask for a supervisor. It’s amazing the number of folks that try to pull the “Hey bob – it’s your turn to play a supervisor today…”
This is pretty much how AOL worked back in the day- signing up early was a mistake, because what you wanted to do was wait until their offer of free hours extended into the tens of thousands.
Yeah, this has pretty much pissed me off for years. It’s a terrible way to treat existing customers. Same company, awhile back I used to use their cable internet service, until they froze my modem (without even telling me) and when I called in to find out what was the matter this is the conversation that transpired:
Me: My internet isn’t working.
Bodgers: We know. We froze your modem because you were using too much bandwidth.
Me: I was under the impression I had an unlimited account?
Bodgers: That’s right, you do.
Me: So how can I be using too much?
Bodgers: You’re using too much compared to the people around you.
Me: Wait, so what if they used more? Would that raise the average and then I’d be ok?
Bodgers: That’s right.
Me: Ok, might as well cancel my service then.
Bodgers: Thanks for choosing Bodgers!
I only wish I were making this up.
Bleh, as someone who works for those cell phone companies, I am routinely forced into defending policies that I know don’t entirely make sense.
And you’d think the customer service offices for billion-dollar telecom companies would be open all the time, but I still keeping having to tell people at night that I can’t help them, but customer service is closed (so kindly fuck right off).
The incentive is, you get to keep your number. Not complicated.
Ray, pay attention. Most companies let you keep your number if you sign up from a different provider.
Hahahaha! Oh, “Bodgers”… frustrates the hell out of me too.
Bodgers turned off my digital cable because I hadn’t paid a bill in 4 months.
Nevermind the fact that I had 6 months of free cable because I bought a new HDTV.
Yeah, cell phone customer service is awesome. I would suggest not dealing with the guys on the phone ever. If at least you deal with someone in the store you can go up the chain of command relatively easily, the manager or whomever, with the ability to actually get things accomplished is actually ten feet away.
I once spent one hour a night on the phone with Sprint, trying to get someone to give me the price 3 people told me I would get. During this time I created a long, long list of employee names and numbers. Never once did I speak to the same person, even if I tried. Their call centers are around the world, so every time you are transferred, you are in a different country, dealing with different people, none of whom can help you. When we just decided to cut our losses and cancel and return the phone, my mom spent another week on the phone trying to get that accomplished, and eventually canceled the payment through our credit card, which finally prompted some action.
Yeah, that was a bit of a rant, but I don’t like how I got ground down by the machine.
My cell phone service is actually pretty nice…
I use T-Mobile and they’re great about not overcharging me on anything. Although, that might be because I bitched them out about a random service charge and scared the guy into taking it off my bill. I think he was new…
Me: What is this (insert fee name)?
Rep: Uh, It’s… a… carrier fee. So we can, uh, carry the signal better.
Me: Really? Sounds like a crock of shit. I’m not paying that.
Rep: It’s part of your bill, sir. You can’t just NOT pay it.
Me: Ok. Is your supervisor around?
Rep: Wait a minute. I just looked this fee up and it seems that it’s completely optional! I’ll take it off your bill right away sir.
Paraphrased of course. But still.