Dammit, Jim Starlin! Why did you have to write Hawkman Special #1? WHYYYYYYYYY?
11
Aug
Just when I think I am out, they drag me back in.
Posted by MGK Published in Bad Comedy, Comic Remixes, Comics, Photoshopp'dSearch
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39 users responded in this post
Fail.
Ladies and gentlemen, my first official troll! I’m so proud. –MGK
Great work, as per usual.
I never understood how Hawkman’s regular-sized eyeballs somehow turned into giant hawk-sized googly eyeballs when he put on his hat. I mean, those are some seriously gigantic googly hawk eyeballs he’s got there.
Hilarious. It’s been far, far too long since your last one. Great work. (Even if Stargirl never went back in time. ;))
“Come on, it’s frigging Power Girl!”
Damn straight brother!
“Haunt haunt haunt!”
I love these.
I can definitly say, without any hesitation, that that was indeed Thanos.
Fails for lack of man-hawks. Thanos is no man-hawk.
Good work, sir. I think that the only other thing that could’ve improved Special Hawkman more would’ve been to staple it shut.
FEAR THE PUDDING!
Funny and good. But someone is going to have to give me a synopsis of the real one so I can resist the urge to find out what they hell is actually going on.
David:
Jim Starlin is pulling a Byrne and “fixing” Hawkman, because apparently his old origin didn’t jibe with actual Egyptian history or something. It’s very skippable.
I just skipped the original comic entirely. Now, the next time I read a DC comic, I’m alwas going to wonder where the pudding is.
The second I saw this on Scans Daily, I knew the two of you were meant to be.
And lo, it was awesome.
Definitely Thanos.
This is hilarious. And I have to say, I don’t much care for Starlin and Milgrom’s art, either. For one thing, Hawkman must not have a forehead, judging from where his lower face goes up into his… helmet? And for another thing, he seems to have a bad habit of losing his legs beneath the knees when he kneels down. And for ANOTHER thing… What is it with Starlin and skulls?? They’re EVERYWHERE. There are skulls on the knees of the beefy cosmic spooky dude. There’s one in that panel where that one guy disintegrates (though I admit that’s not out of place). They’re dotting the scenery in Hawkman’s premonition of death, like evil polka dots. Geez, Starlin! That didn’t work in “Death of the New Gods,” they don’t work here! Skulls are just not a viable background motif! How do you expect us to take anything (much less the death of Big Barda) seriously when the page looks like an online Halloween store??
You know, I think the line, “Sometimes, you have to SCHOOL unknown energies,” needs to enter common usage.
Nice work. Though I think the best bits were in the beginning. And the Ollie comments. Gotta love the Ollie comments. 🙂
Can anyone tell me when, exactly, Hawkman went from “mildly grumpy space cop” to “hardcore dittohead”?
It was probably around the same time DC noticed that Guy Gardner was their only confessed Republican, and decided to add political balance to their stories rather than lose that valuable Reaganite demographic.
No! Macey!
You’d think Republicans would be MORE incensed, if anything, to have fucking Hawkman be their political representative?
“What? Oh shit, guys, we need to keep The Power Pack fair and balanced. Fuck it, just have Jack quote Margaret Thatcher or something.”
“Hawk Hawk adoo”…..I snarfed my soda
“What? Oh shit, guys, we need to keep The Power Pack fair and balanced. Fuck it, just have Jack quote Margaret Thatcher or something.”
….I’m actually grooving on the idea of a political Power Pack storyline. Like, Katie discovers politics and Jack and Julie get into a strawman Republican v. Democrat thing and then Alex goes all Captain America and teaches them about being informed voters.
And then they fight Dire Wraiths?
Having read the real issue shortly after this, one thing I love is the fact that you don’t really need to have read the comic being mocked here. As much as it’s being made fun of, the plot shown in MGK’s version is a surprisingly accurate rendering of what goes on in the actual comic. If anything, it’s just dialogue that’s more honest about what’s actually happening than Starlin’s.
Just FYI, this has been posted on 4chan in the /co/ forum.
N…o, I wasn’t at 4chan. Never. >_>
Delightful, and I thought the original comic was pretty OK too! (For some reason I’ve been unreasonably fond of Starlin since Mystery in Space, even though Death of the New Gods and most of Rann/Thanagar Holy War have been dreck.)
Can anyone tell me when, exactly, Hawkman went from “mildly grumpy space cop” to “hardcore dittohead”?
When I first read this, I read ‘dittohead’ as ‘ditkohead.’
Is Mrs. Shapsut’s first name “Hot”, by any chance?
Well, it’s good to know that if this whole law thing doesn’t work out I could always get a job as a DC artist. And never have to worry about sobriety again.
… I could tell Hawkman what “aberrant” means…
But I won’t, because he’s gonna fuck up this whole pudding thing and I bet my part of the universe turns into crapioca.
This reminds me of Hawkgirl from the Justice League cartoons. She never met a problem she couldn’t solve by bashing it with her mace!
See, I never read the original (like with most of these), but just like with Death of the New Gods and Civil War I now feel completely informed.
Really. And the bad guy looks like he had pulled a garbage bag tightly over his head cor a cowl.
So the bad guy isn’t Thanos.
It’s the love child of Thanos and Moon Knight.
Will there be more? Please let there be more. . .
[…] wrong” approach caused a minor kerfluffle among Hawkman fans. Although I didn’t read it (well, not exactly), that Special struck me as the kind of thing you do when you’re getting ready to relaunch a […]
I lol’ed.
Moar, ever so pretty pleeeaaaassseee?
Which comic is this from and where can I get the original version?
At least he sorta died like it showed him dying.