Lights! Flashing! Mary Murphy screams again! Cat Deeley wears a spectacularly ugly dress! Li’l C is the guest judge and his metaphors are off the hook, y’all!
Randi and Evan: jive. First off, I think we all owe Alex da Silva a big thank you for getting indicted for statutory rape so that Louis van Amstel can take over as the new lead ballroom choreographer on the show, because jeez talk about an upgrade. (But seriously, Alex da Silva is a terrible human being and a mediocre choreographer to boot.) That having been said, this was an extremely soft jive and jive should not be soft. It felt like a jazz piece, which, given that we have two jazz dancers here, is not surprising. Evan and Randi were very charming, though, so they managed to pull off a decent personality-based routine mostly on being engaging and enthusiastic.
Melissa and Ade: jazz. Hey, did you know that Sonya Tayeh is weird? She’s weird, you know. Weird and eccentric. I know this because they keep telling me that. Over and over again. Anyway, this was good, although I felt Melissa was at times ballerina-light-stepping a bit through the routine. These two should be safe, but for some reason I don’t think they will be.
Kaitlyn and Jason: hip-hop. I love Shane Sparks’ choreo, but the execution here was mediocre. Mary Murphy was clearly watching last week’s Bollywood performance in an alternate universe because their unison last week was a joke, not “dead on.” This week’s unison was similarly bad, but this time it was Jason who was on beat and Kaitlyn who was way off. Jason hit his beats cleanly and sharply, like you’re supposed to do in a hip-hop piece, and basically got called out for being better than his partner. Kaitlyn’s limitations are showing up quickly.
Carla and Turk Jeanette and Brandon: disco. Not the worst Doriana Sanchez number ever, but nowhere near the best disco on this show; the routine was so frenetic that at times it seemed desperate. But the lifts weren’t too forced by Doriana standards, and there was an acceptable amount of cheese, and Jeanette and Brandon danced it quite well for the most part – which given its obvious level of difficulty is impressive.
Asuka and Vitolio: Viennese waltz. After some crap about how he wants to tell a story about Vitolio’s hard life, Louis van Amstel apparently said “hell with it” and just went for a sweeping waltz. Which is fine. Vitolio’s carriage in this was pretty bad (Nigel likes to use the word “lines” to describe how male dancers hold their arms, but there’s more to lines than just arms), but his performance quality was excellent. Asuka was very strong in all respects. Should get them out of bottom three; this was sweeping and magnificent, Vitolio’s carriage aside (and that was ignorable).
Kayla and Max: pop/jazz. So nice to see Brian Friedman back on the show; I’ve enjoyed his previous routines and he’s always good for something that’s kind of dirty and nasty fun. This was no exception. Kayla is getting pimped to the moon by the judges for performances that, while good, are not the psycho-awesomeness they claim them to be. Max was much, much better than I expected him to be, and hit his moves very cleanly and sharply; I’d like to see what his hip-hop is like. These two are probably the early frontrunners.
Karla and Jonathan: contemporary. Hooray, Stacey Tookey gets called up to the big leagues! And her choreography on this piece was just excellent, definitely a head above a lot of the average contemporary choreo on SYTYCD. Jonathan and Karla danced it acceptably-to-good; I wouldn’t say “great,” I think they did well enough and the choreo was excellent. Mary saying that Jonathan was better at this than he was at his own style is not shocking because Jonathan is a really mediocre Latin dancer. Might help them avoid bottom three if damage has not been done too early.
Jeanine and Philipchbeeb: tango. Ouch. See, this was in one sense comparable to the Asuka/Vitolio waltz from earlier in that the technique for one partner (Philipchbeeb) was bad and it needed emotional performance to save it, but unlike Vitolio, Philipchbeeb was clearly nervous as all get out and couldn’t concentrate on his excellent chemistry with Jeanine. There were flashes of it, but nothing sustained. On the bright side (if you like Philipchbeeb), this was probably the single worst thing he could have drawn; tango is probably the most difficult ballroom dance for a novice (with the exceptions of quickstep and possibly foxtrot, and I think Philipchbeeb would have had an easier time with the quick movements of quickstep than with the slow, sultry ones of tango). Jeanine was very decent, though, and impressed me. Of course, I think they’re safe, because Nigel basically bent over backwards giving the audience permission to vote for a bad performance and even if they don’t get the votes no way will they get eliminated by the judges.
Ashley and Kupono: hip-hop. This was bad, bad, bad. Not one of Shane Sparks’ best routines (he had a good idea with the “shadow” theme and then abandoned it halfway through), but Kupono and Ashley were just not very good. Ashley was a bit better than Kupono but not by much – however, she didn’t look as outright lost as Kupono did. Remember how I said a few weeks back that we were in for a lackadaisical season of hip-hop at best? This is what I was talking about: a bunch of contemporary dancers who can’t do anything but dance soft, limpid hip-hop. Speaking of which, Nigel has to shut the fuck up about how much SYTYCD has done for hip-hop, which is actively delusional. Tabitha and Napoleon making hip-hop palatable to middle America is not particularly an accomplishment.
Predictions for bottom three: Ashley and Kupono, Kaitlyn and Jason, Melissa and Ade.
Should go home: Kaitlyn and Kupono.
Will go home: Kaitlyn and Jason.
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Mary Murphy is absolutely the worst human being I’ve ever suffered on my television. I don’t know how you can stand to sit through her whatever-it-is-she-does. The insight of Randy Jackson, the self-control of Paula Abdul, the affability of Simon Cowell and the usefulness of Kara DioGuardi, all in one extroardinary package.
Soft, soft, show. You know that rare magic you get when a high level of competition (in any field) causes everyone to find a new gear? Rising tide, boats, etc? That’s totally not what’s happened so far this year.
Also, very odd adjudication on the Shane Sparks numbers. both were not executed well – but got very weird passive-aggressive comments from all three judges.
While they’re likely safe… I’d really like to see either Vitolio or Asuka go… Yes a large chunk of professional dance is faking chemistry when there’s none there… But I can’t think of a recent couple that’s such an ill fit – for personality or style. It’s impossible to see what merits they may (or may not) have in amongst the horrible dischord.
Big disappointment tonight. Crappy night to be Shane Sparks–or really any male for that matter. The boys didn’t bring it or were brought down or made a few too many metaphors and made me want to turn off my TV. I can stand Mary Murphy. I like Mary Murphy. As a Murphy by name, I feel a strange kinship with her. Nigel has a) no balls and b) an incurable case of favoritism. Lil C was just insufferable. He’s like a very immature essay: big broad statements, weak evidence and a sloshy sort of thesis.
The jive sucked. Randi took “shake your tail feather” way to literally–she danced like it was cuban rather than swing. Evan was weird. His bounce was more in the waist or even shoulders, not the knees. The jazz was way bland; naughtiness would have served Melissa well here. Hip-hop #1 was terrrrrrible. Remember the group routine, where Caitlin played ‘the wind’? I see why. Caitlin is beautiful–but she has this strippery quality to her. She has ‘fuck-me’ eyes when she’s dancing–I guess because she doesn’t have another confident look. She was sloppy, which made Jason look like he was over-working it. The disco was good. Brandon did the steps well but I didn’t like how high up he was. I may be more used to a hustle, but for disco I like a more latin push into the ground. Janette was great but sloppy, and I don’t mean the trip, I mean the steps and the exits from lifts. The waltz was good. I was down with the whole sweeping aspect until that last shot where Asuka showed her sad face straight to camera. That was weird. The rise and fall wasn’t timed well and there were times where Vitolio’s steps were a little inconsistent in size, but it’s forgivable. Pop/Jazz was good, if a little frantic. Kayla is bubbly. Max is… balding. Contemporary? What about it? Tango sucked beyond belief. Jeanine was dialed up to 100; Philip was upsetting. Mary was kind–that was an F. They picked up their steps too much, the hold was flimsy. Hip-hop #2: Ashley was ok, Kupono was awful.
Shane Sparks shows up and it’s like wait… y’all suck. At least Taboleon don’t put out things that are truly hard to watch. Shane is (theoretically) the new Da Silva: he puts out difficult routines that are barometers for the dancers. However, Shane’s routines are appropriately difficult and won’t steal the dancer’s virtue.
I got annoyed last season with comments about Sonya Tayeh being weird and eccentric. Sadly, I don’t know if it is because of her choreo style or the fact that she had a lip ring and radically, awesome hair. Most of the pieces she has contributed to the show have been strong and consistent. They challenge some of the show’s other choreographers and demonstrate to the audience that good dance doesn’t have to tell a cliched story.
Nigel’s comments on the show’s contribution to hip-hop got a big laugh from me. I would love to see Nigel try to hold that comment up in a conversation with some of the founders of the hip-hop movement and not get smacked.
Seeing Stacey Tookey on the show was rad. I hope they keep bringing Brian Friedman back, too.
It’s obvious reading your commentary that I forgive this show too much. Mary really was in an alternate universe about their unison last week, I just conveniently forgot about it myself because I have a fondness for Bollywood.
Last night I finally talked my extremely vitriolic (in regards to this show) boyfriend into watching a little bit of the show with me (I had the pizza). And I think he might have enjoyed it if Lil C hadn’t kept making an ass of himself with his overwrought language, far better described by JQ_NW_American above.
I’ll have to subscribe now to make sure I catch your review of next week’s show!
Yes, I agree with all that was said here and the commenters. Last night was such a disappointment!!
No more Lil C as a judge! I want Adam Shankman all the time!
I think Louis van Amstel’s addition had more to do with Jean-Marc and France being sequestered back into their icy homeland for SYTYCDCanada. Alex da Silva never choreographed ballroom or Intl Latin routines. He just did Argentine tango, Am. Rhythm and salsa. But van Amstel is murdering it so far. Who ever thought the one thing holding him back was Priscilla Presley?