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Comment.

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Getting a bit Jaded with the whole blogging scene, MGK?

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Insert of non-related comment or joke. Potential to start a flame war, but only by the twentieth such comment.

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jpegs do not animate!

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Great Geoff Johns joke, by the way.

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Commenter said on June 30th, 2009 at 9:27 am

Poorly thought quasi-snarky remark, only slightly conected with the actual subject of the post.

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insert completely off topic comment about dinner last night and where the guys are meeting for drinks this weekend.

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Comment indicating agreement with post’s author, but adding nothing further of substance.

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Brad Reed said on June 30th, 2009 at 9:41 am

Lame joke based off of blog post.

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Stuff thingy.

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Gratuitous link to an unrelated subject.

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Pointless comment that basically repeats what has already been said by the others because the author likes the ‘clickity clack’ sound of his keyboard.

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Leggo My Lego said on June 30th, 2009 at 9:56 am

Spam post in garbled English with links to Russian mail order bride site.

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Post containing spelling mistake.

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Follow-up post pointing out mistake and correctly repeating what was said.

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Garfield said on June 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am

Double post!

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Garfield said on June 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am

Double post! (with apology added)

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Insightful comment on SC’s gratuitous link to an unrelated subject.

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comment with blatant disregard for social norms, followed by link to horse porn

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Testimonial spam for an online dating service for nymphomaniac Asian midgets.

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Fawning comment offering blog writer one free Internet.

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Comment repeating earlier comment, serving to illustrate that I haven’t bothered to read other commenters.

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Comment indicating agreement with post’s author with added praises of his character and skills meant solely to attract attention.

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Comment that is a thinly veiled plea for attention to the commenter’s own blog, in hopes that the increased traffic of the blog owner might somehow “rub off” on him.

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bobservo said on June 30th, 2009 at 10:29 am

First post!

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FifthSurprise said on June 30th, 2009 at 10:50 am

Link to advertisement with claims of the potential enlargement of certain sexual organs.

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Lister Sage said on June 30th, 2009 at 10:54 am

Quotation of a previous commentator.

Critical comment about the comment quoted.

Another quotation of a previous commentator.

Comment in agreement with comment quoted.

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Minor HTML formatting.

Link to possibly entertaining quasi-topical outside page.

Comment on how meta the conversation has gotten.

Request for a “If I wrote Harry Potter Slash Fiction…” article series.

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That Guy said on June 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am

Tangential reference to related topic, in attempt to discredit arguments by appeal to authority.

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Noun.

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Incorrect declaration of first

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THEY DON’T ANIMATE AND YOU KNOW IT

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obsequious comment regarding how Rex the Wonder Dog would have done it better

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Lame attempt at starting a flame war over a topic completely unrelated to blog post.

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Llelldorin said on June 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am

Jaded, world-weary reminder not to feed the troll.

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Illuyankas said on June 30th, 2009 at 11:49 am

Feeble attempt at ‘featured comment’.

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Over-punctuated complaint, that entire blot post is thinly veiled slur–against women or minority group!!

Elaboration on perceived slur which has nothing to do with blog post, leading readers to suspect commenter has somehow wandered over from some other blog without realizing it!

Query as to how your mother/child/grandma/disabled friend/childhood pet would feel if they read this??

OPTIONAL: Concluding line saying I hope you will allow Jesus into your life, and that I will pray for you.

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“F.B.I.! F.B.I.!” Blam blam blam blam. “[Expletive]. [Expletive].” Blam blam blam. Spurt of blood. Plot twist. “F.B.I.! F.B.I.!” “[Expletive].” Blam blam blam blam blam. “[Expletive].” “F.B.I.!” “Hotel Security!” Blam. Exploding skull. Guy sits on a chain saw. Montage. [Expletive]. Plot twist. Roll credits.

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Odd King said on June 30th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Obvious but unsuccessful attempt at trolling.

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Blockquote

Needless offense taken at substance of earlier comment.

Insulting reference to the author of earlier comment, misattributed to a different commenter.

Sulking insinuation of leaving in huff.

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(Lurking, waiting for response to earlier comment)

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[b]Formatting error[/ b]

This post is made of _______ (with optional inclusion of the phrase “…as the kids say” to make it semi-ironic)

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I think we’re all beating this into the ground at this point.

So take that, MGK!

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LOLCat

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Unfavourable comparison to Flapjacks’ latest offering.

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NCallahan said on June 30th, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Allusion to internet meme du joir and/or Josie and the Pussycats.

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Obscene gerund

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Sofa King said on June 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Spamming me too like a braindead AOLer

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Joanna S. said on June 30th, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Fan girl squee! Fan girl squee!! And a promise to rip the fingernails out of anyone who has ever said anything even slightly critical about this post because they are obviously NOT a fan like I am a fan (sqqqueeeee!).

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omg lol post about u are awesom with no discushun to the akshul content of post no which mke sens gramer

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slappy the happy robot said on June 30th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Unfavourable comparison to Flapjacks’ latest offering.

Assertion that Flapjacks does or does not exist.

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MarvinAndroid said on June 30th, 2009 at 2:37 pm

First post!

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response to Zifnab with example of tangential link

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Observation that this is the most surreal “Why I Should Write Doctor Strange” post yet.

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“intentional failure” above to link to quasi-topical video

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Jason McCulley said on June 30th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Link to relevant LJ community.

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Anus joke.

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Display of regret that Kyle W.’s link does not function.

Comment on funnier thing he saw at website.extension

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Complaint about obvious meta-humor.

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Emoticon of amazement.

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K. McAleese said on June 30th, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Snooty remark meant to attract the attention of everyone but actually alienates all.

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Flippant remark

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Inadvisable attempt to add something new to the mostly played-out discussion after coming in late!

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Snide remark deriding one of the commenters’ ideological stance.

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BigDongNao said on July 1st, 2009 at 11:58 am

Undecipherable two-days-later post by Orient-based spammer hawking shoes / penile enlargement pills / shoe enlargement penis

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Comment expressing amazement at random comment made above. Secondary comment from out of nowhere in stark opposition to random comment mentioned in first comment above.

Lengthy paragraph tying subjective judgments together to validate secondary comment. May or may not include list of up to 15 items in vain attempt to validate secondary comment as the only viable option.

Second through fifth paragraphs containing linguistic fluff.

Inappropriate anti-religious remark with possible side comment of application of random kitchen utensil upon sensitive part of currently “newsworthy” spiritual individual’s body.

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Immature, confused comment by someone who grasps only the most tangential portion of your post, making sure to add “LOL” at the end of their poorly constructed, misspelled run-on sentence.

OR

Approving comment by another blogger that you completely loathe, resulting in an existential crisis about why you even write your blog to begin with.

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