Before we get started, Dan asked:
…the few times I’ve tried to watch it I had to change the channel immediately when Mary Murphy starts talking. And I know more people who don’t watch the show because of her than watch it despite her. What are your thoughts on her presence and what she brings to the show? (Nigel seems mildly amusing and mostly harmless)
Nigel is honestly a lot more pernicious than Mary; at times his sexism and personal type of homophobia can become outrageously noxious and offensive.
My take on Mary is that, whatever her flaws (and boy howdy does she have flaws) she’s genuine, and that is worth something. Yes, the screaming and Hot Tamale Train and all of that is incredibly annoying (no, really – incredibly annoying), but she’s one hundred percent honest and most of the time knows her shit when it comes to judging. And without Screaming Mary, we’d never get Crying Mary, and I think it’s good to have a judge who genuinely gets moved by the performances as she does. I just wish she’d stop with the fucking screaming.
Anyway. Your guest judge tonight is Adam Shankman, who directs mostly horrible movies but is a wonderful human being in spite of that! There’s a gigantic new stage that holds thirty bazillion people! It’s so big it’s in WIIIIIIIDESCREEEEEEEEN! The show is now officially big enough for Michael Bay to blow up!
Opening all-four dance: jazz. Coincidentally, this Wadeandamanda Robson piece is the closest any dancer will come tonight to dancing hip-hop, which makes Nigel’s endless triumphalism about how this season’s dancers are so hot-shit even more hollow. “They’re so great we decided not to do anything out-of-the-box like having them dance an unfamiliar style or something they might not excel at!” But this piece is honestly really good and fun, funky in a sort of jazz-dance way with some good beats. I enjoyed it quite a bit.
Jeanine and Shorty: contemporary. This week’s Sonya Tayeh piece did not feel like a Sonya Tayeh piece. Where is the black eyeliner? How am I supposed to know that Sonya choreographed it if nobody is wearing black eyeliner? But seriously. Jeanine killed it, absolutely left Shorty behind; this was probably his best dance of the night, too. He actually did really well. But… the problem for Shorty is that Jeanine is so much better than him that the difference is staggeringly obvious.
Brandon’s solo: Actually impressed me the least of all his solos: this one just felt like a series of moves, whereas his others had a sense of build and purpose to his move sequence. This felt – not desperate, because it was clearly confident. But it definitely felt like there was a conscious plan here to dazzle rather than tell a brief story through dance.
Kayla and Brandon: Broadway. Nigel does his best to ruin the Tasty Oreo joke by referring to it, but Tasty Oreo is forever, Nigel, and even your power of blah cannot destroy it. Anyway, I did not have high hopes for this coming in but was really very pleasantly surprised: Brandon and Kayla danced it very well and Tasty laid off the overblown literalism that’s a hallmark of his Broadway choreography, and the result was a very fun, entertaining piece. I really liked it.
Jeanine’s solo: The judges were blown away by how difficult a solo she chose to do, and it definitely was difficult – easily, in its way, as difficult as Brandon’s, except where his required immense power hers required near-perfect control. (That extended pirouette? Insane.) She absolutely nailed it.
Shorty and Brandon: pop/jazz. I love that LaurieAnne got brought back so quickly, and her routine this time was good – again, about as close to hip-hop as the Whitest Finale In SYTYCD History could manage. Shorty was once again outdanced, but this time it wasn’t a case of him dancing well and just being outclassed by a genius, but by him dancing pretty averagely and being outclassed by a genius.
Shorty’s solo: Underdanced and not nearly good enough at this stage. Look, don’t get me wrong: I think he’s actually pretty good as dancers go, and I was happy to see him make top ten because he deserved it. But he’s been constantly outclassed since about top 12 week and should have left long ago; he’s just not at this level yet, if he ever will be. He does his thing really well? So did Musa in season 2 or Cedric in season 3. (Except, you know, they were hip-hop dancers so the show didn’t have a problem ditching their asses.)
Jeanine and Kayla: contemporary. Didn’t care for this at all. I don’t have any complaints about their dancing particularly; I just thought the choreography was boring, and the judges falling over themselves to praise Mia Michaels for her profoundly literal piece about their “journey” was honestly kind of lame. Except for Nigel, going to his Dirty Old Man well. That was lame and pathetic. Then he says these two are the best female dancers in the show’s history, throwing – at a minimum – Melody, Lacey, Sabra, and Katee under a bus. (Kayla wouldn’t even make my list of top ten female dancers in the U.S. show’s history. Jeanine would be in the top three.)
Shorty and Kayla: jive. Tony and Melanie impress me less and less each time I see their stuff. They used to be good, right? What happened? Anyway, Adam asks if there is anything Kayla can’t do, and other than “dance hip-hop well,” I can’t think of anything. Well, maybe “dance in shoes,” because once again she’s not wearing heels in a ballroom routine, instead forced into cowboy boots – possibly because she’s not good in shoes, possibly because of the height difference. But the cowboy boots were ridiculous, because even if she was capable of performing the jive at full tilt (and given the mistakes she was making in this routine, my guess is that she isn’t), why would you make her wear footwear that would be likely to fall off in the middle of a jive? Shorty actually danced better than her in this; his leg extensions were actually quite sharp and his upper body was better than the judges gave him credit for. That having been said, I do not want Shorty receiving any positive reinforcement at this stage because he Should Not Win and I don’t want his fans having an excuse to vote for him on the grounds of perceived quality.
Kayla’s solo: Same old technical brilliance with no soul. Adam Shankman, who is a sweetheart, puts her on par with Danny or Travis, which is laughable. She’s good, and obviously has room to get even better, but she’s not as good as the judges say she is. She’s good enough to make top 4 (although Janette would have been better); she’s not good enough to warrant anything more than that.
Jeanine and Brandon: paso doble. This was seriously hot shit, one of the best pasos in the show’s history. Both Jeanine and Brandon spent the entire night outdancing their partners and then when they got to dance with one another, they blew the roof off the place. There isn’t much more to say about it: it was just completely excellent and they both completely embodied the dance. COMPLETELY.
Final order should be: 1.) Jeanine 2.) Brandon 3.) Kayla 4.) Shorty
Final order will be: 1.) Jeanine 2.) Shorty 3.) Brandon 4.) Kayla
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I think the problem is simple: Nigel, while perhaps more loathsome on a personal level, is much easier to ignore while watching TV. If somebody is on a laptop, or reading a book, or simply quietly pondering the mysteries of wallpaper, Nigel’s voice lilts over the ear like that of a pleasantly British, homophobic canary.
Not so Mary Murphy, whose siren screech demands all available attention.
Basically, the point is that terrible people who fall into the background are not only acceptable, but in fact infinitely preferable to someone who is genuinely annoying.
Mostly, I just wonder what the ratio of vodka to soda is in that ubiquitous cup in front of Mary Murphy.
The Jeanine/Kayla routine made me think, “So this is what it would look like if Mia Michaels were to choreograph one of those dime-a-dozen contempo-flailing audition solos.”
Nigel’s comments after that routine seemed oddly truncated. I wonder if somebody decided whatever he said needed to be cut. Maybe it was, “Kayla, even though Jeanine is vastly more attractive than you by any objective measure, I have a thing for blondes and I’d like to sleep with you.”
Then he says these two are the best female dancers in the show’s history, throwing – at a minimum – Melody, Lacey, Sabra, and Katee under a bus. (Kayla wouldn’t even make my list of top ten female dancers in the U.S. show’s history. Jeanine would be in the top three.)
When you consider that Sabra WON fucking Season Three, it becomes even more insulting. But then again, it’s not like she’s ever shown any inclination to come back.
Listen: Best ever Mia Michaels routine? Not by a long shot. But it was a girl-on-girl finale routine which actually showcased both Jeanine and Kayla as dancers rather than pretty meat, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.
I would like to enjoy this show but Mary is just so shrill that it sucks all the life out of the moment. She just turns the switch in my brain that makes we want to wack her in the head with a shovel over and over again. I have that same feeling that I get watching a bad comedian bomb…I can’t get to the remote fast enough.
Listen: Best ever Mia Michaels routine? Not by a long shot. But it was a girl-on-girl finale routine which actually showcased both Jeanine and Kayla as dancers rather than pretty meat, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.
Yes, this times ONE MILLION.
I found that it seemed a lot better when you just watched Janine in the Mia number. Kayla was flailing. She was also flailing in the jive. Girl did a lot of flailing this evening; she’s ready to go home.
Just started watching Season 1 of America, so I can finally say I’ve seen all the shows. It’s… really awkward. The original host is a collagen-injected fright (although it does look like someone actually tells her if her outfit is horrible before she goes on-camera.) Everyone’s fighting the judges in auditions like it’s idol and Hollywood Week is like The Real World. Everything’s so DIFFERENT, I’m amazed they got their act together so much by season two.
Speaking of things that are different, Mary Murphy’s kind of slowly devolved into self-parody. I like it better when she’s getting all technical and using dance terms I don’t understand but I do get that most of the viewing audience is all “what this is dumb where is tamale train” (Hot Tamale Train is no Sexy Rexy Rocket to the Stars)
Nigel seems like he’s fighting himself this season, it’s like he HAS to keep saying they’re the BEST TOP TWENTY EVER to justify the fall season Fox gave them, but still will say things like no one’s broken out like all these other dancers, who were much much better and more memorable. His hyping of the current season was worst on the top 8 episode, when they were doing the usual freestyle introductions and the crowd was just DEAD SILENT when Kat announced EVERY. SINGLE. DANCER.
Dear Fox, What are the chances we could get a season with good dancers, Australia’s format and production values (and audience) with Canada’s hosts and choreographers? Plz thnk u, Brian.
Oh yes, and the whole throwing Lacey under a bus thing – by my recollection they pretty much did that in season three already. She looked like she was poised to win and all of a sudden at the end Nigel unjustly shit all over her stuff so they wouldn’t have back-to-back Schwimmer champions. I could be wrong or playing favorites, but I remember her just being head-and-shoulders above Sabra and the rest of the finalists. (I also thought it was lame that Pasha didn’t make it to the finals, as I thought he was the most dude-friendly male dancer in the competition until Nico showed up in Canada.)
Brian G, I’ve read somewhere that Nigel said Sabra was racking up the votes surprisingly early in the season. I’m not sure exactly how judges can influence voters, moreover, since we start to get into some game theory (he’s saying that so we WILL/WON’T vote for X!) if we really want to think of the show at its most outlandish, nefarious terms.
Okay, SYTYCD, I’ve had enough jazz. Sure, I’d rather have jazz over, say, disco, but cut it out. This is what I think is the trouble with this season–too many cooks. People keep going in and out: Shane left for ABDC, they bring in T&N; Keith Diorio (aka the man who ruined season 5) holds back while working on Master of Dance show, so Mandy Moore upgraded; Wade Robson leaves, they bring in Sonya for her edginess; Alex Da Silva has to lay low, so they bring in other people to an amazing tango, but they counter-balance it with Ron Montez, etc. I say this to illustrate that this is the season of the B string. We have a lot of good choreographers, but we also have plenty of middle of the road choreographers saturating the field. Taking the number of good routines per episode waaaaaaay down. Beyond that, there seems to be a lot of cost-cutting measures (Re: same song! Doing the solos over, having the same goodbye songs week after week). Season 5 is sort of ghetto–or, as ghetto as dance shows get. The producers people just seem to want this season over. Me too. It’s gotten to the point that I’m not looking forward to season six.
Group: Fun, sweet. No one else could do sugary like Wade Robson.
J&E: Good, I can go make a sandwich.
K&B: Well done.
B&E: I hate you both. And you Laurieann. This solidified my ire.
J&K: I really like this. I thought it wasn’t overdone the way of the layers, it had a good flow. The athleticism of it was good, and both did a good job.
K&E: Ate it.
J&B: Soooooo good. I sort of saw this coming–they both went for it in their tangos.
37 more votable minutes!
I always gotta give credit to shankman he choreographed once more with feeling. Go Jeanine!
Wait. I’ve only been following this through your commentary. Are you telling me that Tasty Oreo is not, in fact, this person’s name? I thought it was some sort of trendy dance name or something.
(Still gonna name my first kid Tasty Oreo)
Longtime reader, first time commenter. Have to say, I follow the show avidly and love your blog just because it’s a very different point of view that manages to be consistently amusing.
Curious who the other top ten (or at least three) female dancers out of the U.S. seasons are in your little list.
Rooting for Jeanine this season, still pissed off Katee didn’t win last season, and really hoping that Mary Murphy goes back to actually critiquing ballroom like she knows what she’s doing, because the way she’s falling all over herself to praise these ballroom routines that *I* could have danced more proficiently is just plain irksome.
In my heart of hearts, I keep hoping you’ll start reviewing Dance Your Ass Off. Realistically, I know there’s not a lot there to review, it being skewed to ‘spectacle’ over ‘dance’, but still.
My thoughts:
One, it’s always amazing to me how different Mary Murphy sounds when she’s talking about ballroom. Suddenly all the stupid and obnoxious screaming goes away, the lame catchphrases disappear, and you understand why the hell they picked her to judge a dance competition. After seeing her absolutely dissect a performance, I have enough respect for her to make the rest of her schtick tolerable.
And two…the reason Shorty keeps getting through is simple. He’s got a charming personality, and most importantly, he manages to convey that personality through his dancing. Yes, he has technical weaknesses, but he genuinely manages to connect with his audience through his dance (and his choreography–I think he’s one of the few dancers on the show who’d be better off if he choreographed his own Broadway stuff) and that makes up for his rough spots.
But if you’re not charmed, then yeah, I understand how you’d just be saying, “What the hell?” 🙂