Did you know…

…that fishermen have discovered a parasite that eats its host fish’s tongue and then lives in its mouth, living off the food the fish consumes?

Gross, huh?

I offer this interesting piece of trivia as evidence there are worse things you can put into peoples’ mouths than words.

Having said that, can YOU tell who didn’t actually say the following? Answers in the footnotes1.

-“Best show some humility when talkin’ to Congress there, boy.” 2

-“I haven’t been arrested for a hit and run all year, therefore that dead guy in the street is totally unrelated to the dead guy-shaped dent in my hood.”3

-“ABC News said more than one and a half million people attended the 9/12 rally. That’s a whole lot of people ABC News says are totally real and I do not have a small penis.”4

-“Kanye West made a mockery of the VMAs, utterly destroying the long-standing tradition of solemn contemplation and celebration of the achievements of the best the popular performing arts have to offer.”5

-“Kanye West is a total dick.”6

-“I just want to say we need to collectively take a breath. This whole thing’s gotten out of hand and we all just need to calm down people before it al”7

-“We never said More than a million people attended the 9/12 project. Fuck no, that’s crazy talk, whoever said that is a pathetic liar with penis issues.”8

-“I can’t say comment on the Disney/Marvel merger but that’s no reason for me not to give a lengthy, uninformative interview on the subject this one time.”9

-“Shit, I should really post something on MGK today…”10

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1. SPOILER WARNING! [↩]
2. “I think [President Obama]’s going to have to express some humility based on what we’ve seen around the country during August, and that’s not his inclination.” – Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss [↩]
3. “All year, I’ve never been foot-faulted and then suddenly in this tournament they keep calling foot faults” – Serena Williams [↩]
4. Freedom Works President Matt Kibbe [↩]
5. Absolutely no one. [↩]
6. Almost everyone. [↩]
7. Someone who is A) probably right and B) doesn’t understand how to use Twitter. [↩]
8. “At no time did ABC News, or its affiliates, report a number anywhere near as large.” – ABC News [↩]
9. “Certain statements in this communication may constitute “forward-looking statements” within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Such statements relate to a variety of matters, including but not limited to: the operations of the businesses of The Walt Disney Company (“Disney”) and Marvel Entertainment, Inc. (“Marvel”) separately and as a combined entity; the timing and consummation of the proposed merger transaction; the expected benefits of the integration of the two companies; the combined company’s plans, objectives, expectations and intentions and other statements that are not historical fact. These statements are made on the basis of the current beliefs, expectations and assumptions of the management of Disney and Marvel regarding future events and are subject to significant risks and uncertainty. Investors are cautioned not to place undue reliance on any such forward-looking statements, which speak only as of the date they are made. Neither Disney nor Marvel undertakes any obligation to update or revise these statements, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.

   “Actual results may differ materially from those expressed or implied. Such differences may result from a variety of factors, including but not limited to:

   * legal or regulatory proceedings or other matters that affect the timing or ability to complete the transactions as contemplated;
   * the possibility that the expected synergies from the proposed merger will not be realized, or will not be realized within the anticipated time period or that the businesses will not be integrated successfully;
   * the possibility of disruption from the merger making it more difficult to maintain business and operational relationships;
   * the possibility that the merger does not close, including but not limited to, due to the failure to satisfy the closing conditions;
   * any actions taken by either of the companies, including but not limited to, restructuring or strategic initiatives (including capital investments or asset acquisitions or dispositions);
   * and developments beyond the companies’ control, including but not limited to: changes in domestic or global economic conditions, competitive conditions and consumer preferences;
   * adverse weather conditions or natural disasters; health concerns; international, political or military developments; and technological developments.

   “Additional factors that may cause results to differ materially from those described in the forward-looking statements are set forth in the Annual Report on Form 10-K of Disney for the year ended September 27, 2008, which was filed with the SEC on November 20, 2008, under the heading “Item 1A—Risk Factors” and in the Annual Report on Form 10-K of Marvel for the year ended December 31, 2008, which was filed with the SEC on February 27, 2009, under the heading “Item 1A—Risk Factors,” and in subsequent reports on Forms 10-Q and 8-K and other filings made with the SEC by each of Marvel and Disney.” -Marvel Comics Editor in Chief  Joe Quesada [↩]

10. -Foley [↩]