FAMOUS PEOPLE TWITTER ACCOUNTS REVIEW COLUMN

L’il Wayne (@liltunechi)
TWEETS LIKE: Somebody in prison who is passing on messages to a friend to tweet for him, go figure
TYPICAL TWEET: “Kelsey Veert- I appreciate you for puttin your family on to my music & i hope they know that they have an angel for a daughter”
GOOD THING: Seems genuinely happy to pass along tweets via phone from prison, very considerate towards fans
BAD THING: Spells the F-word with two Ks

Russell Brand (@rustyrockets)
TWEETS LIKE: Someone reasonably clever who wants you to give him money
TYPICAL TWEET: “Dear Pope I’m not sure I understand your doctrine. Please send me an outline of the basics. And condoms.”
AMUSING BECAUSE: Gets into interesting exchanges with fans which always sound witty
UNTIL: You read both ends of the conversation and realize it’s a gunfight between the Terminator and Abe Vigoda, the latter of whom is carrying a squirt-gun

Tom Hanks (@tomhanks)
TWEETS LIKE: An assistant being told to tweet for her famous boss person
TYPICAL TWEET: “Nice props from JR on Dave last night. Bless you, “Mercy”. Hanx”
UNINTENTIONALLY AMUSING: Use of “Hanx” at end of every tweet to confirm that, yes, this is in fact Tom Hanks
BUT SECRETLY THE X IS A CLUE TO A VASTER CONSPIRACY! Probably not

Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano)
TWEETS LIKE: That person at the office who means well and sends you email about absolutely anything that somebody forwards her that she thinks people need to know about
TYPICAL TWEET: “iHouse! The Plans 4 Steve Jobs’ New House➛ http://is.gd/fA1rq”
MOST ENDEARING FEATURE: Willingness to get into actual conversations with other people
MOLLIFIED BY: Short attention span

Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago)
TWEETS LIKE: Somebody vastly smarter than you who is enthused about the new possibilities for communication that the medium presents, has considered their various plusses and minuses, and then decided that simply posting pictures of dogs is a waste of time
TYPICAL TWEET: “”When I get out of prison the only people I would care to be with are those who know what beauty is and those who know what sorrow is” – Wilde”
DEMOCRATIC BECAUSE: Retweets messages by new followers on frequent basis, tries to be deeply involved with his followers
UNDEMOCRATIC BECAUSE: He will never retweet anything you say

Dane Cook (@danecook)
TWEETS LIKE: Someone trying out his own material for the very first time
TYPICAL TWEET: “Isn’t everyone a food critic? When I eat a terrible sandwich I don’t need someone else to confirm this with a review.”
SURPRISING: You want to kick him in the nuts less when he’s only in text form
UNSURPRISING: He still mostly sucks

Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest)
TWEETS LIKE: A fourteen-year-old girl
TYPICAL TWEET: “On radio asking…do u think u can find true love thru online dating?? I think yes but u have to be careful!! What do u think?”
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: Lack of tweets asking fans if they think Simon Cowell is gay defies expectations
SECOND BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: Not fake

Jewel Staite (@JewelStaite)
TWEETS LIKE: Your cousin, you know the one
TYPICAL TWEET: “Doing a Q&A at sachorror at 11am this morning! I better see at least one Jayne hat in the audience…”
MOST VALUABLE SERVICE: Reminding you that celebrities can be really, really boring
SECOND MOST VALUABLE SERVICE: Reminding you that celebrities can remain celebrities even nearly a decade after the last noteworthy thing they did

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