So last night the annual WWE Royal Rumble happened and it ended up being an absolute disaster because of the Royal Rumble match – the annual modified battle royale that is one of the most popular events the WWE runs every year, and certainly one of the most anticipated. The short short version is that the wrong guy won the Rumble match and fans were furious. But to reduce it to that level suggests that it’s simply fans throwing a temper tantrum when it’s so much more than that.
Bear with me for a second: for the last month or so, the internet has been Ground Zero for jokes about Mortdecai, the ginormous Johnny Depp flop film. Mortdecai is a wrongheaded move on so many levels: as someone pointed out, it’s essentially a children’s film that happens to have an R rating that’s based on a series of cult British crime thrillers. But Mortdecai is also the product of corporate entertainment culture. Mortdecai is just a symptom of the larger problems with corporate culture taking over the production of entertainment. Lionsgate, when they released Mortdecai, said without irony that they intended for the film to become a franchise. Think about that for a second: they weren’t just hoping for the film to be successful. They were, quite literally, planning for it to be so successful that it could become a staple element of popular culture for decades (at a minimum). They thought they could do this about a wacky movie where the premise is that Johnny Depp wears a stupid moustache.
They did this for the same reason that Disney has three Star Wars films lined up alongside a dozen Marvel movies for the next six years. “Franchises” are more or less reliable, stable revenue generators for movie studios/entertainment companies; they’re the reason that people keep trying to re-start Terminator as a franchise, because you can sell new Terminator movies and TV and whatever with a minimum of explanation. People are familiar with the concept. People will predictably spend money on them. Hollywood wants franchises, because franchises are the definition of cover-your-ass so far as studio executives are concerned; any nimrod in a suit can say “but I had this and this and this and they had always been successful before” when he’s about to get fired, because that gives him the excuse he needs for his next job. That the movies become somewhat more soulless is besides the point.
And if you dislike Mortdecai and make fun of it and it flops – well, from Lionsgate’s perspective that’s not their fault. They tried to create a new franchise, it didn’t work out, these things happen. They’ve still got Hunger Games and most of you will go see Hunger Games movies. Hollywood makes terrible things literally all the time that make tons of money and regardless of people’s complaints about them, they still go. There hasn’t been a single decent Transformers live-action movie; in fact, those movies are legendarily agreed upon to be terrible. Transformers: Age of Extinction got a C grade in Cinemascore (the audience rating thing, the one where any piece of crap can get a B+ without trying hard because audiences will cheerfully say “oh I just turned my brain off and enjoyed the ride”) but it still made over a billion dollars worldwide. So, before we go back to wrestling, let’s make one thing clear: just about everybody spends money on things they suspect they might not enjoy out of a sense of inertia, to some extent.
Okay, now back to wrestling.
WWE went public about fifteen years ago and what we’re seeing the ascension of corporate thought in the most important wrestling company in the world. Brand management is a top priority for this company. Their performers aren’t wrestlers, they’re “Superstars” (or, for the women, “Divas,” because god forbid WWE not be rampantly sexist). It’s not wrestling, it’s “sports entertainment.”1 Individual wrestlers are brands themselves, each successful gimmick providing multiple merchandising and branding opportunities. There is, reliably, a new color of John Cena gear approximately every eight months – new John Cena shirts, new John Cena armbands, new John Cena do-rags, the whole kit and kaboodle, because WWE wants to make sure they maximize the Cena brand. And although not every wrestler can be John Cena, they want every wrestler to perform, merchandising-and-branding-wise, as profitably as possible.
WWE wants wrestlers who will be longterm corporate brands that they can put in video games, cartoons, et cetera. They need John Cena to always be Hustle Loyalty Respect John Cena. But that means they need predictability and stability. And predictability and stability is death to pro wrestling, which is an artform that thrives on chaos. So creating that stability, creating those longstanding stable brands that modern corporate entertainment ideology demands, while still providing the fluidity that pro wrestling fans require to enjoy the form – it’s an intense art. And it’s one WWE simply has not mastered.
For all that I’ve pointed out about John Cena being a brand, it’s worth remembering that, although a lot of hardcore wrestling fans might dislike John Cena – because Cena has been the WWE Top Brand for over a decade, and you get tired of anything after a while, let alone a decade – that his rise to the top was remarkably organic. Certainly WWE wanted Cena to become The Guy: he looks like The Guy should look. But he stumbled through a bad gimmick and then successfully was recast as a comic-relief bad guy. People forget that John Cena’s first real step to becoming SEVENTY BILLION TIME CHAMPION JOHN CENA was a sketch where he dressed up as Vanilla Ice for Halloween.2 In 2005, people wanted John Cena to be the guy. The chants of “John Cena sucks” that you hear today are reactions against the stability and predictability and seemingly endlessly length of John Cena’s reign as Top Guy, rather than against John Cena himself – most wrestling fans who chant “Cena sucks” will readily admit that the guy himself is a fine wrestler who can really work a great match and whose work with Make-A-Wish kids is nothing short of remarkable.
But WWE’s problem is simple: John Cena is turning 38 this year. He’s in the final third of his career now, and WWE needs – or, at least, believes that they need – the next Top Guy, the next predictable, stable brand who can carry their company for the next decade. Enter Roman Reigns.
Now, I don’t want anybody to think I don’t like Roman Reigns. He’s a good wrestler. He has the potential to be a great one. He has The Look, he’s a decent power wrestler who is increasing in skill, he’s shown he can connect with the audience when he needs to, and although his promos are somewhat dreadful at present – to say the least – when he’s given material that isn’t wildly outside his wheelhouse he’s good enough at being a speak-softly-but-carry-a-big-stick total badass. To be frank, if you were going to design a Long Term Wrestling Brand by committee, it would probably look like Roman Reigns: he’s muscular, he’s handsome and sexy, he’s the Rock’s second cousin for god’s sake.
But what WWE did at the Royal Rumble was to pull the wrestling equivalent of releasing Mortdecai.
Because – and this is where we have to go into wrestling arcana for a moment, so bear with me – last year, at the Royal Rumble, everybody who watched wrestling knew it was Daniel Bryan’s year. The WWE had just spent six months writing a great story where Daniel Bryan, the scrappy 5’8″ underdog who just happened to also be the most popular wrestler in the company and also the single best professional wrestler in the world, had been screwed out of the WWE title by the corporate Triple H and Stephanie McMahon for not being, in essence, what they considered a marketable brand. Everybody expected Daniel Bryan to win the Royal Rumble in order to get his title shot at WrestleMania, the biggest show of the year. And instead, what happened is that WWE brought back Batista – who non-wrestling fans might know better as Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy – more or less on the basis that Batista was in movies now so people would love him. Daniel Bryan didn’t even wrestle in the Royal Rumble match.
The fans at last year’s Rumble went apeshit and booed the hell out of the match, out of Batista, and even out of universally beloved babyface Rey Mysterio (on the basis that Rey entered #30, the final slot in the Rumble, and confirmed that Bryan wouldn’t wrestle in the Royal Rumble match.) Ironically, when it came down to Roman Reigns and Batista as the final two in the Rumble match, the fans started cheering intensely for Roman Reigns – who was at the time still a bad guy. Strictly speaking, they weren’t cheering for Reigns. They were condemning the cynical, corporate act of writing a marketable product like Batista to win the Rumble rather than their guy.
Anyway, fans booing the WWE constantly at every arena in the country managed to get them to realize – after only two months! – that MAYBE Daniel Bryan should have been the guy all along, so at the last minute they turned Batista into a corporate heel and inserted Daniel Bryan into the WrestleMania main event, where he won and the crowd went absolutely insane, and WWE managed to turn a massive clusterfuck into what is quite possibly the single best video package the company has ever done.3
Shortly after last year’s WrestleMania, Daniel Bryan got injured and had to spend about eight months in rehab; he came back in time just to announce his entry into the Royal Rumble, and instantly the WWE fanbase knew that they wanted him to win the Rumble again. See, once again there’s a perfect story in place: in the interim since Daniel Bryan got injured and had to vacate the WWE title, Brock Lesnar won it. And nobody can beat Brock Lesnar. So you have the unstoppable monster who’s beat everybody – except the one guy who never lost the title in the first place. On top of that, Brock Lesnar is very likely leaving the WWE after WrestleMania because he’s only in wrestling for the money and he might be able to make more money elsewhere, so you’ve got the storyline that not only can nobody beat Brock, he’s going to take the WWE title with him when he leaves – forcing the evil corporate overlords to have to rely on Daniel Bryan in order to keep the title where it belongs. It practically writes itself.4
But instead of having Daniel Bryan win the Rumble, they eliminated him in a meaningless elimination about halfway through the match. No drama, no build, no story to it. And they did this quite specifically because they had decided that Roman Reigns is a Highly Successful Brand, and they did not want fan anger over Bryan’s elimination to taint the Reigns brand, so they did it as early as possible.
But it didn’t work. Reigns won the Rumble but it didn’t matter because from the time Bryan was eliminated the Philly arena5 absolutely turned on the entire event. They booed everything. They booed Goldust and Stardust turning on each other, they booed Kofi Kingston’s annual stupid elimination spot, and they sure as hell booed Roman Reigns. They booed Roman Reigns so hard that the WWE sent the Rock out to save Roman from a beating and the crowd booed the most popular wrestler in history.
![](http://i.imgur.com/T5ZdBgn.jpg)
I’m not sure what’s saddest about that GIF – the Rock realizing that the crowd is booing EVEN HIM, or poor Roman Reigns realizing that the plan didn’t work and wrestling fans now hate his guts. Actually, no, it’s Roman, because the Rock has millions and millions of Hollywood dollars, which are better than normal dollars. Roman Reigns, meanwhile, has to deal with the fact that the WWE, after writing an epic storyline where corporate-selected champions were the villains and which trained fans to boo the storyline corporate-selected champions, was so clearly himself a corporate-selected champion that fans had no choice but to boo him.
And that’s why wrestling fans are irate. Wrestling fans, more than any other fan of anything else, prize the idea that they decide who the stars are – which, given the relationship between wrestlers and fans, is not an unreasonable proposition to hold. Last night, in act of pure corporate cynicism, WWE told the fans that their preferences don’t really matter. It’s like if Marvel Studios had released Mortdecai – and then let everybody know that in the next Avengers flick, Mortdecai will join the Avengers and kill Ultron with his moustache. Given that, is it any wonder wrestling fans got pissed?
(A protozoan version of this post originally appeared on Twitter and Storify.)
- Granted, this phrase was initially a dodge by Vince McMahon to avoid having to satisfy state athletic commission requirements, because if Vince McMahon can find a way to spend less money on keeping his employees safe, he will do that. [↩]
- Mostly because in the career retrospective videos WWE makes about John Cena these days, they edit that part out, along with how his finisher used to be called the “F-U.” [↩]
- As an aside: WWE’s video package producers are widely considered to be the gold standard in sports media. They’re ridiculously good at their jobs, especially given the often ludicrous material they have to work with. Take the time to watch that video; it’s amazing work and draws you into the story perfectly. [↩]
- And here’s one more thing I’m stealing from elsewhere: Daniel Bryan is the ONLY credible challenger to Brock Lesnar. Because you can’t out-brawl Brock Lesnar, you can’t out-MMA Brock Lesnar, you can’t out-power Brock Lesnar, you can’t out-size Brock Lesnar. None of those things work. Historically, the only way you can ever beat Brock Lesnar is to out-professional-wrestle him, to use the tricks of the universe where Irish whips and DDTs are things that actually work – and Daniel Bryan is the best professional wrestler in the world. [↩]
- It should be noted: Philly fans are some of the most hardcore wrestling fans in the world. [↩]
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“It practically writes itself.”
That should be the corporate strategy. Synergize fan interaction and authorial intent.
We keep telling these guys what we want and we’d be willing to give them money if we got it.
How can you be a corporation cynical enough to just ignore fan opinion but not cynical enough to take our money? The mind, it boggles.
Well, I’ve been watching the Mortdecai mess with a catlike interest(1), and it’s fascinating to see how Depp and his backers simply refused to listen to fans telling them ever since Charlie & the Chocolate Factory that no, we really did NOT want to see more of Depp gurning & capering in some extravagant caricature under layers of costume and makeup, we wanted to see him ACTING again in proper roles — and over and over again this has been met with a huge scoffing insult-plus-injury.
“No, what you people REALLY want is a Lone Ranger remake that openly jeers at the original story and characters, and makes no sense in itself — with Johnny Depp playing a caricature of a Noble Savage under heavy makeup and a dead bird! Wait, how about an out-of-touch vampire under heavy makeup, which also has the benefit of being a derisive remake of YET ANOTHER beloved old property?”
“Oh, you don’t like him in heavy makeup and outlandish costumes, acting the fool? Fine! Have Johnny Depp sleepwalking through an incomprehensible plot in which he LITERALLY phones his performance in over a modem! Hahaha!”
“Wait, you said that was boring — so you must want MORE Johnny Depp in a strange costume and makeup, playing an outlandish caricature of a British lord in another rehash of an exceptionally obscure older property that LITERALLY NOBODY was asking for, right? And you’re going to love it so much that we’ll keep churning them out forever!”
“So why are we losing money each time, if we’re so much smarter than the moviegoing public?”
(1) Specifically, the cat wondering if the flapping bird-on-the-ground is merely pretending to be injured, or actually HAS a broken wing to make it worth the pounce.
Well, I don’t know about the wrestling, but I honestly enjoyed Mortdecai. It had several great laughs in it.
Then again, my favorite Johnny Depp is “crazy shouty quirky man,” rather than anyhting deep or meaningful.
Philly fans would turn on their own mothers in an arena-situation so that was a pretty bad place to try this crap out on if you want a positive result.
The 2014 Rumble was a fascinating display when it came to the fans. Heck, their reactions to yet another Cena/Orton match before the Rumble itself was a sight to behold. The 2015 Rumble not only had the problems you mentioned, but it was also just flat out boring. No real shocking returns (YMMV for Bubba Dudley & DDP, and no one cares about the Boogyman), Kofi’s spot was due more to luck than skill, no one person dominated. It was just dull, something the Rumble hardly ever is.
Incidentally, you might not get as many hits on your wrestling articles than you do on others, but I always enjoy reading your thoughts on the subject.
It isn’t the quirkiness in itself I mind exactly, so much as the surrounding horribleness of everything else, although with Burton’s Alice it was about equal I have to say.
Vomit humour, sexist & homophobic humour, cartoonish violence in a non-cartoon setting, “witty” wordplay that isn’t, and a “caper” plot that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever are not things I find amusing or entertaining. Try to pass it off as “retro” the way Koepp and Depp have, and it’s just insulting — the old movie comedies didn’t stoop to gross-out gags in the Adam Sandler vein.
On the other hand, the reviews for it absolutely are entertaining and watching this smirking pig in lipstick get turned to critical bacon does warm the stony cockles of my heart!
And such corporate hubris is just as fascinating to read about — and encouraging in its downfall — in the world of live entertainment. We don’t get enough backstage analysis of wrestling in the mainstream media.
what the fuck did you expect, wrestling fans? properly inflated footballs?!
here’s a novel idea, wrestling fans: just stop wasting your money on wrestling gear, wrestling posters, wrestling video games, wrestling underwear, wrestling pop tarts, wrestling tickets. Just stop. Goddammit, stop being addicts to a shitty drug.
I will keep watching football, I admit. But I ain’t wasting $75 on shitty jerseys or $200 on shitty gameday tickets.
First off, you say wrestling fans, but the problem is WWE. Any smaller wrestling company having someone half as popular as Bryan is going to push the hell out of him. It’s only the big corporation that messes this up.
Anyway, I was there, and all I can say is if you’re going to try and shove someone down the audience’s throat you really can’t do it in Philly. Title match was pretty sweet though.
I think I need to stop going to wrestling events. The only two I’ve been to in the last several years are this year’s Rumble and last year’s Rumble.
I’m just glad that the title match came before the Rumble, because it deserved every cheer it got. As soon as Bryan was eliminated, I knew that anyone who got in that ring without being named CM Punk was going to have a very rough night.
I recall another big, national wrestling company that went out of business because they had too many corporate suits trying to call things.
WWE bought them.
At the rate they’re going, I could see WWE maybe not go out of business, but certainly lose a lot of business.
The chants of “John Cena sucks” that you hear today are reactions against the stability and predictability and seemingly endlessly length of John Cena’s reign as Top Guy, rather than against John Cena himself – most wrestling fans who chant “Cena sucks” will readily admit that the guy himself is a fine wrestler who can really work a great match and whose work with Make-A-Wish kids is nothing short of remarkable.
As a non-wrestling guy, I’m curious: is it accurate to say that the audience ends up playing a role as much as the wrestlers? Or at least doing so to some extent?
Moreso than the audience does in practically any other art form. I’ve written about that before here.
So lemme see if I’ve got this straight: the WWE has built Lesnar up into this force of nature – he ends the Undertaker’s streak, he suplexes the usually dominant Cena into paste and rises off a hospital gurney to put away both Cena and Rollins – and The Fans want the guy to put a stop to him be this 5’10”, 210lb beardy bloke. As a face ?
That is going the Full Guerrero. That is suspension of disbelief squared. That is “wrestlng is fake” writ large.
I like the guy, I really do, but I prefer a smidge of plausibility in a storyline. Reigns is a FAR more believable vanquisher of Lesnar as it stands.
Except Reigns is terrible and his name is also terrible. Nobody who names themselves Reigns should ever get within eyeshot of the belt, especially not as a face. Sure, you could do Reigns reign if he’s wrestling as a heel, but it’s too much like cheering on Bane if he’s a face.
What people want is to pretend that clotheslining a dude will knock him flat and that when he struggles to his feet you can jump off the corner and kick him in the face without anyone actually being hurt. Have you seen Bryan wrestle? He’s really good at flying around like a bearded luchador. He’s also really good at hitting people. Reigns is not. He’s good at being big and bad, but he can’t do the flying stuff because of all that mass.
Good article.My only problem with the Mordecai analogy, is that the corporate types that pushed that pile of crap probably didn’t have any idea about what makes a good movie.
But this is Vince freakin’ McMahon we’re talking about!This is all he does! After 30 years he should know what works,what doesn’t,when to push someone, and when it’s time to stop.This is what’s so frustrating.
It’s not some AOL/Time Warner exec wanting to make a Kiss Demon or David Arquette World Champion. It’s Vince McMahon pushing a guy who obviously is not ready to be pushed.
Peztopiary – Bryan is a great wrestler, and he gets cheers, but he doesn’t shift business in a meaningful way. He’s not even 1993 Bret Hart, because Hart got awesome returns on international tours.
Is Reigns the answer? Probably not. But at least he’s untested in terms of headlining a PPV solo. Bryan had his chance and, quite honestly, his title reign sucked before he got injured.
I disagree that no one bt Bryan could beat Lesnar and Reigns is the other guy. You’ve got to be pure high impact offense to take out Lesnar. That’s what Reigns offense is.
WWE’s issues start at the top and has been systemic since the 90s when Vince Russo somehow convinced the McMahons that his style of “storyline” was to have fifteen minute segments where a guy cuts a promo in the ring for thirteen minutes and there’s maybe two minutes of a beatdown. Things got slightly better when Russo left for WCW (where he’d do the same thing and ran that promotion into the ground), but Vince continued to insist that people wanted huge muscled meatheads on their screens. He pushed the wrestlers with these body types over smaller wrestlers with actual talent both in the ring and on the mic.
Really the moral of the story is: Vince Russo has destroyed professional wrestling on his own. Someone needs to hire Jim Cornette and let him clean house – even WWE could be saved if Vince could do that.
Speaking as the World’s Most Casual wresting fan, is it possible they’re angling to have Reigns beat Lesnar, turn heel, then have Bryan take Reigns? (I doubt it myself, but I felt compelled to ask.)
I went with the exact same reservations into Mortdecai which L.A. Julian mentioned in the first post and came out enjoying it hugely. It reminded me very much of how Peter Sellers portrayed Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther movies.
Just wanted to leave that here, because I am somewhat sad about the bad rep this movie is getting. Although I understand that a lot of people probably won’t like that sense of humor. Paul Bethany was great in the movie, too.
Docrailgun- Cornette made fans dislike RoH from what I understand. There’s nothing he could do for WWE
Reigns beats departing Lesnar = new top face
Rollins *immediately* cashes in Money in the Bank = confirmed top heel
Bryan defeats Rollins = “fans” finally happy.
Would that be good business ?
@zippy8
Here’s where it gets kinda confusing. In story, WWE fans hate Rollins. From a meta perspective, we love Rollin’s athletic ability and his continued improvement on the mike. If he cashes in on Reigns he stands a good chance to get cheered. A similar thing happened to Dolph Ziggler.
Kinda reminds me of the plot to “Slammed” (yes, I’m enough of a nerd to only relate to professional wrestling insofar as it reminds me of Choose Your Own Adventure games).
By the way MGK, have you played / read it? It’s got decent plot / characters, and is apparently full of inside jokes.
A privileged position in freestyle wrestling and WWE Almichat
Kinda reminds me of the plot to “Slammed” (yes, I’m enough of a nerd to only relate to professional wrestling insofar as it reminds me of Choose Your Own Adventure games).
I slightly disagree.
Yes, the Rumble was HORRIBLE. It was awfully booked, nothing was important, the special appearances, Bray’s monstering run, the elemenations of favorites, even Kane’s record breaking..nothing was treated as important.
But for the people watching at the time, it wasn’t the bad booking they were booing..it was just them hating everything that was NOT BRYAN!
After the fact, we can analyze and say why it was wrong, but the folks there, it was just NOT BRYAN, dumping on everyone.
Had Andy Kaufman showed up, revealing his death was a 25 year angle, and he took out Bryan, everyone would still boo, because NOT BRYAN!
Now I admit, I’m not a Bryan fan…I’ve watched some matches, but he might do a move technically correct, it doesn’t “feel real”. He doesn’t wow me on the mic. But the single thing I dislike about him the most are his fans.
Now, I’m not a Reigns fan..not a hater either. I’m hoping he rises to the challenge…I got interested in wrestling again in part from last years RSPW awards, where hew was named most improved.
If I had my pick for booking, I’d just have Finn Balor come out at WM31, in full symbiote make-up, and just eat Brock’s head.
Now, THAT’S, best for business.
“just have Finn Balor come out at WM31, in full symbiote make-up, and just eat Brock’s head”
Now *that* is $9.99’s worth of entertainment 😉