Your judges this week are Nigel, Mary, and L’il C, and dare I say all the jokes made at the expense of L’il C’s vocabulary are really annoying and pretty patronizing to boot?
Top three guys: contemporary. Sonya’s routine here was clever and danced well by all three; I think Shorty got a little more credit than he deserved for the routine (he was easily the weakest of the three), but he at least managed to keep up with Brandon and Ade, which is no small achievement on his part.
Jeanine and Ade: samba and hip-hop. I thought Ade was much better in the samba than Mary gave him credit for; yes, the rolls were atrocious, but they were atrocious because of both dancers, and beyond the rolls I thought Ade did a perfectly reasonable job. Jeanine was on fire for this one and really worked her part to the utmost. I note that apparently “stick” is now a dirty word worthy of being censored. Hopefully it will make future choreographers reconsider using Lady Gaga for anything.
The hip-hop… well. First off, Jeanine, stop goddamn mugging so hard. Second off, this was one of Napoleon and Tabitha’s better routines this season, except for their insistence on making Jeanine and Ade dance in those boxes. Seriously, who the hell thinks that’s a good idea? First putting dancers in chains, and now making them have box feet? Are Napitha and Taboleon actively trying to handicap people, or what? Anyway, this routine was danced reasonably well, although they did nearly screw up the “Jeanine does double-dutch over Ade’s legs” part.
Jeanine’s solo: Far and away the weakest one she’s performed so far.
Ade’s solo: He really likes dancing fast, but this time he at least found a reasonable element of his song to which he could dance fast (IE, the vocals), so it was all right.
Melissa and Shorty: Broadway and quickstep. Tasty Oreo returns with another crappy Broadway piece, ending his streak of good Broadway routines at one. (This ties his previous record of one.) Melissa and Shorty just don’t have a lot of chemistry with one another and this staggeringly literal “Get Me To The Church On Time” routine needs chemistry. Melissa says that she is the oldest dancer ever on this show at 29, leaving the first season’s Big Fat Alan, who was 30, to cry and go eat a cheesecake as he watches on teevee at home.
Nigel says that Melissa has been “challenged,” which – she’s danced only five partner routines out of eleven this season where her ballet training wouldn’t have come into play (IE, contemporary or jazz pieces). Out of those five, the two that were slow she danced acceptably, and she was crap in all the others. And she hasn’t danced hip-hop once all season; she could go through to top 4 without having danced a single hip-hop dance. How is that “challenging?”
The quickstep was pretty goddamn terrible and they both sucked at it.
Melissa’s solo: Felt like the first quarter of a three-minute solo. Underdanced.
Shorty’s solo: FOR FUCK’S SAKE STOP DOING THAT “AW SHUCKS” SHRUG AT THE END OF EVERY FUCKING ROUTINE.
Kayla and Brandon: contemporary and disco. Stacey Tookey is awesome. She is like Canada’s Mia Michaels except without all the baggage that Mia Michaels brings with her. (Also, Stacey Tookey is seriously goddamned hot. This has no impact on her ability as a dancer or choreographer, but… daaaaaaamn.) Her adultery routine was just brilliant and gorgeous, and Brandon and Kayla danced it just about perfectly. When I saw it, I thought “well, Kayla is blossoming at just the right time.”
And then came the disco, which started out competently enough, with the requisite amount of disco cheese that is right and proper, maybe with Brandon carrying the routine a little more than Kayla – but shortly thereafter it disssolved into the usual Doriana Sanchez nightmare of prepare-lift-prepare-lift-prepare-lift. God, what a horrible piece of work. However, the Disco Rule (“No judge shall say an obviously bad disco routine is bad”) is in effect, so.
Kayla’s solo: Not as good as last week, but perfectly credible.
Brandon’s solo: Holeeeeeee shit that was a motherfucking solo.
Top three girls: contemporary. This was there. Compared to the guys’ three-person routine, this was decidedly more lacklustre. Melissa in particular didn’t seem to connect with the routine as much as the other two.
Should go home: Melissa and Shorty.
Will go home: Melissa and Ade.
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Tonight, everybody ate it at least once. The shame of season five is that I’m not particularly happy seeing anyone win. It’s like America’s Next Top Model season 7 or Top Chef season 5. This has been largely disappointing, largely because of a lot of poor production decisions–particularly casting and direction. Nigel was right, people are voting for choreography for the most part. Because 1 good piece out of 10 makes it look like there’s only one good couple.
P.S.- Brandon’s solo was good. For the third+ time. He danced it both location auditions and, I believe, in Vegas. C’mon, if you’re such a crazy good dance, let’s see something else. And less of your junk.
I’m just going to comment here for the first time ever to show my appreciation for your blog.
Honestly, you give the most straight-up, best recap of sytycd. I really appreciate how you don’t play favorites and have obscene biases like other bloggers do, and your recaps are like a refreshing breeze.
I don’t always agree, but I’ve just got to say thanks for writing it every week.
Brandon’s solo was the same music, but a different solo.
I think Evan is just apologizing that he’s still on the show at the end of his solos.
While he should’ve gone home last week if this show was strictly on a skill curve (and quite possibly before that), I felt Melisser sabotaged both their dances in the interest of pawning off the blame on her bad partnering for her inevitable failure.
I like Melisser okay, but she brought absolutely nothing last night, which left Shorty dancing for his life. I just get the feeling she’s feeling sorry for herself, which isn’t attractive on a dance show.
Since the other half of the finale went home last week, I can only hope sense prevails this week. At this point it should come down to Brandon and Kayla. Although I secretly hope Jeanine wins, b/c I’m a sucker for her.
No making fun of Nigel’s inappropriate “You can’t tie down talent?”? Are you slipping or is it just redundant that Nigel sucks?
–M
I could barely stand to watch it last night, knowing Jason has gone and Evan is still there. I think I fast-forwarded through the whole show in about fifteen minutes, stopping only for the routines. I have come to detest Evan and his pale pathetic clown shtick. In my mind he is now David Schwimmer.
I was really impressed by Kayla last night. I know everyone’s been hating on her as the judges little princess, but she fucking delivered on that (utterly fabulous) Stacey Tookey contemporary number.
I miss Janette though. Boo hoo.
Jeanine’s solo really surprised me. A couple of times she was doing the dance move..pause..dance move thingy. Looked more like someone demonstrating different moves than a dance. I really hope she doesn’t get sent home, she’s easily been the best dancer overall.
Replace “best” with “my favorite”. I don’t know enough about dance to rank the dancers by technical ability.
Ugh, while I was watching I was mentally inserting Janette into every routine and just *knowing* she would kill everything. What a disappointment.