This is probably going to be the last one of these I have time to do for a while; law school is already starting to ramp back up the intensity metre.

But I’m rather happy with it, and if “One More Day” was just too static and boring to mock, at least “Brand New Day” isn’t, despite thus far having a near-total lack of Peter Parker actually being Spider-Man, and despite Steve McNiven apparent belief that Peter really, really likes running his hands through his hair. (I don’t know what it is about Steve McNiven’s art that prompts me to do these things.)

Not included: the three pages introducing Mister Negative, both because I felt they impeded the remixed narrative and because I don’t want to condemn the creation of potentially interesting new villains.

continue reading "It Was Either This Or Interpretive Dance"

Countdown: Arena manages to quite possibly be the silliest and most pointless tie-in to Countdown yet, which in and of itself is impressive. Given that the plot essentially boils down to “hey, remember when you were a kid and you made your action figures fight each other? It’s like that!”, parodying it was a tough assignment.

But, hey. I’m game.

EDIT TO ADD: Yes, I know the plot is stupid. Again: this is a story where different characters beat each other up for absolutely no worthwhile reason and that’s genuinely the entire story in toto. And I know I didn’t change that much, because I simply couldn’t manage it. It is quite simply the worst comic published in years. (”One More Day” at least had a little style in its execution despite being a piece of shit.) I know some of you are disappointed, but – there’s only so much I can do, because Arena is, simply, what little children think writing comics is like. “And then Batman hits Superman in the face! And then Superman punches him with a garbage truck!” Et cetera.

continue reading "It’s Like You’re Six Years Old Again Except Not As Much Fun"

People kept emailing me asking me when I was going to do another comic parody, and my answer was always the same. “When the time is right, grasshopper.”

World War Hulk? No. Firstly, it was actually good; secondly, it doesn’t have a lot of clunky expository dialogue and adding it would just be clumsy. Amazons Attack? Closer, but again, not nearly enough dialogue, and although it was profoundly stupid it wasn’t stupid in the right sort of ambitious way, but instead stupid in the way that, say, Larry The Cable Guy is stupid. Countdown? Well, it’s certainly a bad comic, but nothing really happens in any given issue; I can’t just write twenty-two pages of dicking around because DC has already done that for me. Any given issue of Wolverine: Origins? I considered it, but really. Wolverine isn’t that much fun for me to write. (It’s why I went with the “bub snikt snikt bub” joke in the first place.)

It seemed hopeless. But then DC went and did me a favour by publishing a comic both arrogantly ambitious and flagrantly ill-thought out. They published Death Of The New Gods, and I was thankful.

Thumbnails behind the cut, of course.

continue reading "It’s All Been Done Before (But So What?)"

In case you haven’t noticed, thanks to the help of Stefan Rivet: the remix of Teen Titans #44 is now up on the site.

To those of you who have asked me if I’m ever going to do another comics remix, the answer is: yes, and I’m about halfway done one right now actually, but my schedule is a lot busier than it used to be. I’m hoping to have it up next week, but no guarantees.

Contest of Champions, the first Marvel miniseries, celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary late last year. So I felt it only appropriate to take a look back at it, and see how it might… differ… if published today.

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