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mygif

All this stuff about bashing nice guys to me is all part of the pathology of a particular kind Anglo-Saxon feminist woman. I don’t hear that kind of talk from women anywhere else in the world. What it really stems down to is that manly women have a preference for alphas, so in order to justify their preference for alpha men without saying it out loud–because they are ultimately too gutless, ironically enough, given the nature of their criticisms–they have to pretend that the nice guy is, in fact, a dishonest worm that pretends to be nice to you because he wants to have sex, which makes the rest of the men–i.e the men they really want–appear to be the desperate alternative.

It’s amazing how much self deception is occuring here. It’s important for men to realise that this is a cultural problem, and it’s these women that are messed up, not them.

Guys, take comfort in the fact that women around the world aren’t like this, it’s mostly just in the Anglosphere. You will have more success elsewhere, and no, it’s not because women are poor and desperate to leave their countries(typical feminist shaming response). Women appreciate nice guys in most of the European countries i’ve lived in, at least once they get to their mid 20’s, and the ‘friend zone’ doesn’t really exist because the categories are more fluid.

Most of the posters here sound ignorant to me. They probably haven’t lived outside of the Anglosphere, and therefore don’t realise how culturally specific this problem is, and have certainly not read widely, that’s for sure. They are just falling back on the same crass assumptions.

Feminists need to start reading philosophy to learn how to argue properly, and manginas defending them need to seriously grow up and start looking out for their own interests.

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Doesn’tmatter: “(oh shit, that would be sex first, relationship later, then that is not an option, dammit, my fault for having not the same priorities that are required to get sex, wich would be: Don’t desire Sex at any time, isn’t that really fucked up?)”

There seems to be an underlying assumption that a nice guy has particular traits that women do not want. As much as some deny it on here–‘oh a nice guy can be attractive too ‘etc etc’–there is an implication that a nice guy will generally not be attractive etc, hence the justification for labeling him creepy.

Women don’t label men they find physically attractive to be creepy in the vast majority of cases. Or the problem is the approach; the shy, ackward approach. But to me this also shows the kind of women that we are potentially dealing with living in countries like Canada/Australia/America/England etc. Why is it such a problem if a guy is shy? It’s interesting how men are still expected to live up to their gender role as far as courting is concerned isn’t it? You don’t see many people out there fighting to make things easier for us eh? Yet women continue to reap all the benefits from this ‘tradition’. They are only interested in questioning and/or dismantling ‘traditions’ that don’t suit their interests. Fairness has nothing to do with it.

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“ackward”

Awkward rather.

I’d prefer a little more consistency across the board with gender issues.

As for the author’s comments about bald men, research demonstrates that men with hair have are 5 times(+) more likely to date. If a man is short, the problem is even worse. Again, we are constantly told that women are judged for their appearance, yet men have more obvious disqualifiers that can remove them from the dating game for longer periods.

It’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to say that she wants a tall man with a full head of hair, but if a man says he wants a thin woman with full breasts, he is being sexist. and you wonder where the bitterness comes from? Why aren’t women encouraged to interrogate their own aesthetic preferences?

These nice guy rants are just part of a much bigger picture. The tip of the iceberg.

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The “Realist”:

tl;dr. You entirely missed the point. OBVIOUSLY THE GUY ISN’T NICE. That’s why it is stupid that he calls himself that. Way to miss a great article (bad word choices aside). You sound like a nice guy yourself.

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jks- please tell me you did not just compare hair and height to breast size and weight. please tell me you’re not blaming women for somehow magically turning these “nice” guys into douches. please tell me you’re not that big a logic-free, vile ignoramus.

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[…] The Internet Nice Guy Rears His Ugly Head Once More […]

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Here is a refreshing view of the other side of the issue, with a masterful deconstruction of the “Nice Guy Bashing” mentality of the article.

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[…] in a potentially very destructive and always quite passive aggressive manner. He is exceedingly good at passing himself off as harmless and likeable. He is […]

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Kill EM ALL said on November 7th, 2013 at 10:45 am

*Epiphany*

Oh my god, “nice guys” are self entitled predators spawned of Rape Culture!

*He takes long hard look in the mirror, loathes what he’s become, loads shotgun and kills himself. The gene pools quality increases dramatically by 42%*

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mygif

7 years later and nice guys are swallowing the red pill now.

Enjoy, ladies. 🙂

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Sigyn W. said on May 13th, 2014 at 8:30 pm

I found this a very entertaining spork. I shared it with my sisters, and they enjoy it, too! I hate Nice Guys™. I have a boyfriend and he’s gorgeous, snarky, sexy, and devastatingly alluring, and it doesn’t have much to do with his looks. Yes, he is good-looking, and yes, he does take care of himself, but I love him because he treats me well and doesn’t do passive-aggressive bullshit like this loser. Also, guess what? If he’s doing something I don’t particularly want to do, I don’t tag along. I wander off and do something else (like reading this awesome post!) until he’s done doing whatever he was doing and wishes to spend time with me. Whaaat? Isn’t that how it’s meant to be done?

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[…] not breaking new ground by saying this. It’s been said very well over and over and over […]

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LOL – I wish there was a punctuation mark for sarcasm, just for this article.

One suggestion though, it was a tad difficult to immediately recognize the transition from post to criticism, maybe italics would help? Although I love the expanded spacing as the difference, I found myself having to go back and re-read segments after recognizing which speaker/poster each section was from.

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Patty Marvel said on May 28th, 2014 at 1:10 pm

This is fucking awesome.

I stumbled across this while reading some #YesAllWomen – related posts and have shared this on Twitter. This misogyny-inspired entitlement-ist needs to stop. AND the phrase “Fuck Switch” should be used far and wide.

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“Then in a fit of desperation (because she is too damaged to support herself) manages to convice some other Nice Guy ™ that she is actually a worthwhile person (and not some worn out slut), who marries her and supports her and her bastards while she bangs the mailman…. Good guess?”

I take it that you call promiscuous men “worn out sluts” as well? If you’re going to apply a label based on behavior, you might want to objectively apply it to all who qualify.

Not to say that labels are anything to be regarded or important.

“that some females indeed are bitches who just use males when they are in the need, e.g. if their asshole boyfriend dumped her again (because he just wanted sex and nothing more, and that was clear from the beginning for everyone except for her), perfectly knowing that the guy they are using is loner who wants a girlfriend (and sex, of course) and will do pretty much anything for her, and instead of saying ‘You? Never!'”

“Women” don’t do this. You know who does? Assholes. Assholes use people, and that behavior isn’t magically linked to genitalia.

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[…] I’m not breaking new ground by saying this. It’s been said very well over and overand over again. […]

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IMW said: One suggestion though, it was a tad difficult to immediately recognize the transition from post to criticism, maybe italics would help?

The quoted bits are in bold. Is that not showing up for you?

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Monique said on May 28th, 2014 at 6:44 pm

The phenomenon of self-described “nice guys” insisting that all women are horrible, manipulative bitches who only like assholes begs the question;

Maybe you guys who think you’re so nice are the one attracted to assholes?

Women who are shallow and only go out with tall, rich, handsome men probably do exist, but I’ve never interacted with them because I avoid assholes, whatever their gender. Personally, as a woman I’ve never dated an asshole. I’ve been physically attracted to good-looking assholes, but since I prefer to interact with nice people, I’ve ended up exclusively dating non-rich, average-looking ACTUALLY nice guys (as opposed to self-described “nice,” which often means a martyr complex). I am not rich or super attractive myself, but I am a nice person, or at least I try to be, and I’m not in some kind of ridiculous dream world where people are the star of the show and “deserve” people better looking than themselves. If you find you are only meeting horrible shallow people, you really need to look at your criteria and whether you are only lusting after people who have bought into the idea that appearances and money are everything, perhaps because those women who believe that appearances are everything tend to spend a lot of time on their appearance and be more “hot” than average?

My husband started out as a guy friend, and I even encouraged him to ask out his long-time crush, who turned out to have already found a boyfriend. We were both emotionally supportive of each other, had a good bit in common, I thought he was reasonably cute but a little young for me (when we first met I was 23 and he was 19) so I had mentally put him in the “friend zone.” But after we’d been friends a while he told me he was in love with me. He didn’t wait months or even weeks pining about it, or pretending to be just friends while secretly resenting me for not reading his mind, he just told me the truth! And I pondered for a few days whether our age difference was going to be too big a deal, then decided he was really such a good person and friend that I’d be stupid not to at least go out with him. That was eleven years ago, we’ve been married 7 years now.

Moral of the story; actually nice guys who talk honestly to women find love. Thinking of yourself as nice doesn’t count as being nice, you have to actually act nice to people. And people of both genders who are shallow assholes are likely to end up with other shallow assholes, but you’re stupid and shallow yourself if you begrudge them each other.

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[…] or what’s “good for her.” The corollary, of course, is that women who reject a “nice” guy or complain about male harassment, abuse, or violence are committing an act of gross wrongdoing […]

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“They are after me all the time to show me how I cleft a gerund, it makes them fucking swoon, it does.”

Wait, what is the ‘cleft gerund’ here? Isn’t this just a run-on sentence (x2) with ‘fucking’ as an adjective not a gerund? Or are the grammar skills on display here so Mad I cannot comprehend?

Let me know please?

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[…] not breaking new ground by saying this. It’s been said very well over and over and over […]

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[…] In fact, in most of their movies, these women are their reward for being heroic or owning up for something stupid they did. These ladies will always eventually forgive them and settle for them because that’s the message Hollywood has become accustomed to sending: you are entitled to a beautiful woman that loves you and will forgive you for everything if you’re a “Nice Guy” in the end. […]

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“7 years later and nice guys are swallowing the red pill now.
Enjoy, ladies. :)”
Awww, look at the bitter little failure who doesn’t have the balls to be honest about his intentions, trying to sound all edgy. 🙂

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Nathalie said on July 29th, 2014 at 1:24 am

Fantastic !! Reading this made me feel so much better about how I felt about those ‘nice guys’ and being told all my life that I should like them that way and give them a chance… You’ve put into words what my gut was feeling… Totally awesome !!

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[…] He has "one-itis" for Pepper Potts. For a cussin' good explanation, see the classic The Internet Nice Guy Rears His Ugly Head Once more. (Seriously, naughty words both sacrilegious and scatological. There are cleaner versions but […]

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I know I’m entering, “Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!” territory but that just REEKS of something a socially inept guy in his late teens/early 20’s wrote.

Considering he’s probably in his mid-20’s/early 30’s now, I hope he can look back on it and cringe at what a complete asshole he sounds like.

I’d like a time machine too so I can find out who wrote this, go back in time and punch him in the face a couple times.

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mygif

Seriously? This much hostility for what is effectively a frustrated shy dude who’s scared of rejection? Listening to these feminists (Including the OP) You’d think they were the freaking spawn of Satan instead of how the rest of the world sees them, as guys who are just a little misguided. You thin he’s supposed to be happy he never gets laid? Being unhappy or angry at woman for not sleeping with him in no way implies that he believes women are obligated to. He never said women MUST sleep with him. That’s you making a strawman of his position born of projecting your bias on him. You talk as if these people are axe murderers in the making based on nothing but your own irrational hatred and fear. Is it because you have to demonize him in order to justify choosing the edgier guy instead of the nice guy you claim to want? The only difference between “nice guy” and “Nice Guy” is that one was socially confident enough to take the chance and face the possibility of rejection. It’s easy to say from a position of having never needed to face rejection that this Nice Guy’s just a creepy cowardly passive aggressive loser. Yeah lets insult the Nice Guy and tell him to kill himself because he lacked confidence that the lowercase “nice guy” had! When you see the dude bending over backwards for you, obviously motivated by desire, and yet you arrogantly tell him your friendship should be its own reward while treating him like shit by calling him a creepy loser behind his back. Calling people who dare disagree with this artice and criticise it and the feminists, “Nice Guys” themselves, is an Ad Hominem fallacy, marginalization, and just plain douchebaggery.

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[…] not breaking new ground by saying this. It’s been said very well over and overand over […]

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clothes

Mightygodking dot com » Post Topic » The Internet Nice Guy Rears His Ugly Head Once More

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TBM, are you serious? He literally said flat out that he expected physical intimacy for being “nice”. It’s not even left as implied. He’s not shy or afraid of rejection. He’s got an unhealthy view of women and relationships, and isn’t willing to bother looking any further. He’s fine blaming women for it, instead of bothering to go “Hey, they’re people. Maybe I should actually treat them that way.” That also goes for avoiding the attractive assholes of the female variety. The validity of if they were or not is called into question by the fact he wasn’t sincere from the get go.

Let me ask you, if a woman was hanging around you and being nice, expecting you to give her money in return, would that be attractive? Would that be “nice”? Would she be sympathetic? No, she’d be a deceitful jerk. Same goes for ANY relationship built on deception.

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Piranhtachew said on December 23rd, 2016 at 5:29 pm

‘You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a”-friend.’ Did anyone else have Biz Markie’s ” You’ve Got What I Need” in their heads when reading that?

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