Cat Deeley is awesome.
Chelsea and Thayne: “jazz” (contemporary). Predictably, the judges praise Mandy Moore because on the American SYTYCD it is almost never the choreographer’s fault when a routine is bad. Except this time it very clearly was; Mandy Moore took an exciting piece of music and choreographed a lot of stately walking to it. Chelsea and Thayne did their best with it, and got shit on. (Thayne in trouble has problems dancing in the strong, masculine style expected on this show; it’s just not his forte. Which is fine, but if you’re going to be gay on this show, you’ve got to be able to hide it, or the teenaged girls won’t vote for you.) It sucked. Potential bottom three.
Chelsie and Mark: Argentine tango. Excellent, intricate work here; Mark in particular deserves mention for exquisite partnering. Chelsie was perhaps a bit standoffish at points, but Mark made up for it fantastically. Arguably the best tango on this show, ever. (Which, in fairness, forces one to consider that previous tangoes on this show have been, at best, a mixed bag.)
Jessica and Will: hip-hop. Will did a serviceable job here this week, much better than last week – which, the judges’ insistence otherwise, was fucking horrible – and Jessica was mediocre at best, hitting most of the moves reasonably well but continually a beat behind Will, who was perfectly on time. That having been said, although I think Will is decent, I don’t understand the judges’ need to keep giving him fucking verbal blowjobs; he hasn’t particularly demonstrated anything so far to show that he’s more than just a good contemporary dancer who can cross genres acceptably. I’m not saying he’s not potentially better than he appears; I think he very well could be. But he hasn’t done it, and it’s annoying to see Nigel prematurely blather on about him being a lock for the top 4 when he has yet to deliver an honest-to-god killer performance.
Kourtni and Matt: foxtrot. Foxtrot is one of the tougher nuts on this show. Kourtni and Matt did an okay job, but nothing particularly memorable, and certainly not effortlessly classy in the way a good foxtrot needs to be. You could see the cracks, in other words; Kourtni especially seems to be trying all the time, and that’s not good. Matt is the most boring human being alive. Potential bottom three.
Courtney and Gev: contemporary. This was a nice little routine, although I suspect Gev’s early role was toned down a bit considering he just mostly lay around for the first twenty seconds or so. The judges were a bit unfair, but apparently this year they’ve decided on favorites early on. This was fine, a Perfectly Acceptable Bit of Dancing.
Katee and Joshua: Broadway. The judges all came in their pants, and I don’t get it; this was an incredibly hyperactive routine from Tyce Diorio (wait, Tyce Diorio choreograph a routine like he has ADD? I am shocked) and they performed it well enough, but just because it was reminscent of Nigel’s youth doesn’t make it a showstopper. Joshua gets mad props and pimping from the judges especially, which makes no sense; the musical theatre style this show calls “Broadway” is one of the easier routines for any good dancer to morph into, and last week Joshua had hip-hop, his specialty. I’m not saying Joshua isn’t good, I’m just saying maybe the guy could dance in something dramatically opposed to his niche before the fellating begins, is that too much to ask?
Susie and Marquis: salsa. Firstly, Alex da Silva is an asshole; street salsa is “real salsa,” not the overproduced ballroom routines he invents. So fuck you, Alex da Silva. That having been said, this was absolutely terrible. I think Susie took way too much flak for the laboured turns; I’ve danced a fair amount of salsa myself and believe me when I say that if a turn is bad, more often than not it’s because the guy is wrenching the girl’s arms the wrong way and she’s trying to compensate without breaking her wrist. But she wasn’t dancing in her hips, either, and you need that in salsa. Marquis is simply terrible and needs to go home; Susie is fairly limited and after the judges’ crusade against her will likely go home tonight. Likely bottom three.
Kherrington and Twitch: “Viennese waltz” (contemporary/waltz hybrid). Okay, so two dancers, dressed all in flowing white, dancing a contemporary waltz routine to a 3/3 time Celine Dion song while barefoot? Where have I seen that before? And it was better that time. Of course, in fairness, Kherrington and Twitch did an excellent job with this as well, both dancing very well; Twitch’s footwork was perhaps at one or two moments a bit clumsy, but he covered it very well and his lines were excellent, and Kherrington’s smile might not be entirely organic but it didn’t jar with the routine, and they partner together very, very organically. And the routine was excellent. Canada (thanks to Jean-Marc Genereux) representin’.
Comfort and Chris: krump. This show seriously needs to give up on krump already; it just doesn’t air on TV well, Like, not at all. Every krump routine they do just sits there and sucks, sucks, sucks; even moreso than quick step, krump has become the ultimate kiss of death on this show. I mean, they’ve had L’il C, one of the inventors of krump, come on the show and stink up the joint with an uninspired performance, and I’ve seen Rize and I know krump can be visually exciting, but it needs to be in-your-face in a way that TV cameras just can’t manage. This was no exception; Comfort held back so as not to make Chris look completely pathetic (which he was, but it’s krump, I can’t blame him) and as a result hamstrung herself. Possible dark horse for bottom three.
Bottom three couples: Susie and Marquis, Chelsea and Thayne, Kourtni and Matt.
Going home: Susie and Marquis.