Michael John Magee suggested it, and I feel magnanimous, so let’s do a reader-submitted round of Magic: The Election 08. It’s been way too long since I did a reader-submitted anything, and they’re fun.
Submit your ideas to me in email (it’s there on the sidebar, folks). If you have a specific image(s) for the card(s) in mind, I need that too.
Bear in mind the MGK Fake Magic Election Design Bible:
1.) The color wheel is as follows:
White: Religion/Law Related Stuff
Green: Environmentalism and, I dunno, other things that are green, there’s room there to add things I guess but stay in the general philosophical area
2.) The major traits of import are Democratic, Republican, Douchebag, Bullshit, and Media. (I am flexible, and if somebody comes up with a really good new trait that deserves to be widely referenced, I’ll mention it here.) No card should have more than two traits unless you have a really good reason.
3.) Cards that directly reference Barack Obama should be multicolor blue/white/green hybrid mana. Everything else is fair game for hybrid mana, gold multicolor cards, et cetera.
4.) Stick to existing keyword mechanics. Don’t create new ones.
5.) Stick to events of the 2008 Presidential campaign. Anything before the Iowa primaries: no. Random Dick Cheney or Larry Craig jokes: no (unless they’re really, really good, and let’s be honest, that well is pretty dry). Et cetera. Doing new versions of cards I’ve already done is fine (a lot of people complained that Barack Obama was underpowered).
5. and most important) Remember that the element of masterful parody is refusing to overplay it. I’m not going to waste my time on things like “Say POW POW POW: John McCain gets +5/+5 until end of turn.” That is the parody magic card equivalent of making Disaster Movie or Meet the Spartans. You do not want to be that person. Remember that your entries should, generally speaking, look like actual Magic cards; they will be funnier that way.
6.) In answer to Zenrage: keep it fairly clean.
I’ll put up the ones I like best on Monday.