So this is what happened.
When Boingboing linked to that first post of Photoshopped sci-fi novels, I got a major traffic spike. Such a major traffic spike, frankly, that it overloaded my former hosting provider’s server, which I believe was powered by a tiny mouse in a treadmill.
Now, I had had traffic floods before, of course, most notably when Fark found the Atari boxes post. That time, Hostpapa (my former server) locked me down for a few hours, then we had a nice talk and they reactivated the site. This time, they were not inclined to be so generous, and they informed me they would be suspending the account, because the tiny mouse was getting so very, very tired and they did not want to spend the extra three dollars for a spare mouse.
Amusing sidebar: Hostpapa updated their terms of service only a couple of weeks after the Atari post, defining their traditionally advertised “unlimited bandwidth and data transfer” selling point as “c) Excessive Resource User Policy: Resources are defined as bandwidth, memory, and/or processor utilization. A website is considered using “excessive amounts of resources” when it monopolizes the resources available using 1% or more of system resources for longer than 60 seconds.” Now, I know what you’re thinking – they probably could have sent me a personal mail saying “hey, we thought you should know that we’ve changed our service policy as a result of how you specifically use our service,” but I expect the care and feeding of the tiny mouse presumably is a multi-person job and they were too busy to do such a thing.
So: “fair enough,” says I, and I research my options, then sign on with a new provider which has me on a virtual private server, which is, well, a lot more expensive than I would have liked (given that my total direct revenue off this site is a whopping zero dollars – by design, since with all the Photoshopping I do I want to ensure that my work remain as much in the realm of fair dealing – “fair use” for Americans – as possible, and under Canadian copyright law such things as “profit” lessen the fairness of the dealing), but sometimes you just have to sit back and admit that gosh darnit you are kind of internet famous.
Which is like real famous, except that sexy girls are much less inclined to randomly sleep with you just because.
Anyhow. The VPS takes some time to rack up, as these things do, and then once everything is good to go I contact Hostpapa and ask them to transfer my domain name over to a domain management service, as I do not want to have to deal with a serving company again should this happen in the future at some point, unlikely as that might be. At this point, I discover that they want an extra twenty-five dollars (with tax) to transfer the domain name. Given that this is a process that takes all of five minutes this seems to me to be excessive – especially considering they got three-quarters of my year’s pre-advanced payment for absolutely nothing when they suspended my account, so it’s not like they don’t have a lot of my money already – but at this point I am sick and tired of it all and just want to get the site up, so I give them the money and say arrivederci, Hostpapa.
In summation: if you want to have a website powered by an overworked tiny mouse with which you plan to never have any success or readership, and then be suspended with no refund in the instance that you get reasonably popular, and then chiseled for additional money for services that should be essentially gratis, Hostpapa is the way to go.
Meanwhile, I figured with all the downtime that this was the ideal time to get rid of the headache-inducing white text on blue, so I contacted my good friend Tara and
begged asked her to help me redesign my site, much as she did previously, and although there are still one or two minor bugs to be worked out I think she has done a magnificent job. (Hey, commenters – you can use blockquotes now! Don’t say I never gave you nothin’!) I should further mention the gratituous assistance of my good friend Rob and his friend Mike, who helped me greatly through all the technical widgetry involved in this whole schmeer.
Because I am shameless, I will further mention that the new server cost me a very great deal of money and that although you should not have to feel indebted for my personal choice, I would greatly prefer it if you felt indebted anyway.
And now, service recommences. Huzzah! Be sure to tell all your friends! (Seriously, be sure to tell all your friends. I really don’t want to have to go through the whole “where is MGK” rigamarole again, and a lot of people never got to see the photoshopped sci-fi covers when they were hotlinked.)