LISA (my sister): So I have to say – living in Montreal, you really get an idea of how racist people are.
ME: How so?
LISA: Well, you watch the CBC in English, and it’s all “Members of the whatever community continued to express concern about whatever.” Then you switch to the French CBC, and it’s all “Minorities kept complaining about things.”
JEFF (my brother): Plus the French CBC? Much, much whiter than the English CBC.
ME: Maybe they can’t get French-speaking visual minorities.
JEFF: Yeah, because all those African refugees can’t speak French. It’s racist. They should be raceful.
ME: What the hell is that?
JEFF: Raceful. Like, racist is bad. Raceful is good.
JEFF: Instead of saying bad things about minorities, you say good things.
ME: Is that even a thing?
JEFF: It is now. I just invented it.
ME: I thought it was already called “liberal guilt.”
JEFF: You have to admit, it’s not nearly so catchy as “raceful.” Come on. Work with me on this. We’ll make this a thing.