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It’s early, but I’m pretty sure this is the most amusing thing involving Steven Seagal that I will see all year.

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Screaming Yellow Zonker Harris said on March 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am

I am not Steven Seagal, and I approve of this message.

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I love the wigu reference.

Also, talk of Seagal in a motor scooter reminds me of his appearance in the orange ads/ switch off your mobile bits at the start of films in UK cinemas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTWrvb37i9s&feature=related.

Enjoy

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Steven Seagal is actually Jean Claude Van Damme’s secret identity. Or is it the other way around?

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@Scott

Agreed. I dare say it even beats the AV Club’s thoughtful, trenchant analysis of Seagal’s masterful enviro-epic, ON DEADLY GROUND:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/earthfriendly-case-file-130-on-deadly-ground,23400/

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DistantFred said on March 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am

Guayec: Sounds like it…

When did MGK start showcasing Rex?

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Mad Scientist said on March 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am

Wow, I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this at this hour of the morning. Well done, you two.

Oh, and Flappy — it was good to know you. Good luck, and godspeed.

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Pfft, he’s not even C-list.

Yeah, I said it! What are you gonna do about it, Seagal? COME ON THEN!

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I want to see Seagal in a Wigu tee shirt now. I want to see it SO BAD.

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Smurfiest said on March 17th, 2009 at 1:46 pm

If nothing else, now I kinda like Seagal.

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This is the perfect premise for the next Steven Seagal movie. At least it’s better than Exit Wounds.

I can see it now…

At first he was Above the Law. Next he was Hard to Kill. Then he was Marked for Death. And then he was Out for Justice. Then he was Under Siege.
Soon after he was on Deadly Ground. It soon became a madness he could not control, until he was mocked. Mocked by a criminal named Flapjacks.

Coming Soon Steven Seagal in “Jacked Scooter of Aikido”.

Also starring:
Dash Mihok as Flapjack
Johnny Deep as MGK
and
Malin Ackerman as Luscious B. Ody

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Sage Freehaven said on March 17th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Flapjacks, a word of advice — always assume that ANY conversation with MGK will be blogged.

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I love the wigu reference.

I have honestly never even read Wigu, so I don’t know what reference I made. Someone please enlighten me!

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“Coming Soon Steven Seagal in “Jacked Scooter of Aikido”. ”

You forgot the tagline, Stark. A steely-eyed Seagal looks directly at the camera and says, “Would you like some syrup with that, punk?”

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Well, you attack him, he uses his aikido tricks to throw you harmlessly wherever he feels like it, except the harmless throw lands you in a vat of Steven Seagal Lightning Bolt Energy Drink, and then he just has to kind of hold you underneath the surface one-handed until your pitiful struggle finally ceases.

You don’t have to drown in Lightning Bolt Energy Drink to die from it. You just have to drink the stuff.

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He also follows LeVar Burton, so I wouldn’t get too excited. Well, he was Kunta Kinte, I guess. And Geordie LaForge. And Reading Rainbow Guy…

Never mind. You’re hot shit!

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Jonny Kiehlmann said on March 17th, 2009 at 5:12 pm

http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020130.html – The introduction of one of the main characters. It’s sort of a catchphrase/significant property at times. Not read the comic in months, but I picked that up as a reference…

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Snap Wilson said on March 17th, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Do you use a different voice when you talk as Flapjacks?

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malakim2099 said on March 17th, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Flapjacks is obviously Ninja Ninja to MGK’s Afro Samurai.

Apologies if someone said it earlier. Not meaning to idea-jack.

Steven Seagal is still very huge in the Philippines. No kidding.

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This is now the best Flapjacks post ever. His panic is what makes it extra tasty. I can picture him running around in circles, clutching his head in total fear…

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Hey Steven Seagal!

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DUDE! You need to apologize to Mike Ditka immediately for associating him with the likes of Kevin Sorbo (who lost all his nerd points by participating in Meet the Spartans) and Lorenzo Lamas!

Bad Flapjacks!…bad!

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[…] the #1 Google result for “John Corabi.” ME: I’m fine with it, because unlike Steven Seagal, John Corabi does not have his own brand of knife. FLAPJACKS: You promised never to mention Steven […]

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