According to the BBC, we can expect more spiders than usual this autumn.
“It is this time of year that people become more aware of them – it is the silly season for spiders. The garden spiders are getting fatter for laying eggs and bundles of tiny spiders start hatching.” — John Partridge, secretary of the British Arachnological Society
In other words, remember that bit in Charlotte’sWeb where Charlotte dies and you weep inconsolably as the inexorable floodwaters of mortality burst the dam of your fragile psyche? Yeah, that. That’s now.
So one of our eight-legged friends just got up close and personal with the Pope:
Obviously this was a spider with an agenda. But what? Let us consider the possibilities:
- 1) Spider wanted to be Benedict’s friend. (Story continues in saccharinely cute “Pope and Spider” webcomic.)
- 2) Spider felt that this TV spot was insufficiently goth. (Story continues in saccharinely disturbing “Pope and Spider” manga.)
- 3) Spider is an avatar of African deity Anansi, exercising his Trickster abilities to rob Pope of dignity. Will not desist until canonised. (Story continues in indie comic “Anansiomancy”)
- 4) Spider is Benedict’s familiar, only visible because Pope failed his saving throw. Soon he will summon his holy arachnid legions to smite the unfaithful. (Story continues in RPG-themed webcomic, “Fortitude Save”)
- 5) Spider is radioactive. (While I was typing this, Marvel bought it, making their entire legal team weep like children who’ve just seen Charlotte die. Story continues in “One Day Less,” which culminates with spider-empowered Pope summoning Mephisto… but to what end, true believers?)