According to the BBC, we can expect more spiders than usual this autumn.
“It is this time of year that people become more aware of them – it is the silly season for spiders. The garden spiders are getting fatter for laying eggs and bundles of tiny spiders start hatching.” – John Partridge, secretary of the British Arachnological Society
In other words, remember that bit in Charlotte’sWeb where Charlotte dies and you weep inconsolably as the inexorable floodwaters of mortality burst the dam of your fragile psyche? Yeah, that. That’s now.
So one of our eight-legged friends just got up close and personal with the Pope:
Obviously this was a spider with an agenda. But what? Let us consider the possibilities:
- 1) Spider wanted to be Benedict’s friend. (Story continues in saccharinely cute “Pope and Spider” webcomic.)
- 2) Spider felt that this TV spot was insufficiently goth. (Story continues in saccharinely disturbing “Pope and Spider” manga.)
- 3) Spider is an avatar of African deity Anansi, exercising his Trickster abilities to rob Pope of dignity. Will not desist until canonised. (Story continues in indie comic “Anansiomancy”)
- 4) Spider is Benedict’s familiar, only visible because Pope failed his saving throw. Soon he will summon his holy arachnid legions to smite the unfaithful. (Story continues in RPG-themed webcomic, “Fortitude Save”)
- 5) Spider is radioactive. (While I was typing this, Marvel bought it, making their entire legal team weep like children who’ve just seen Charlotte die. Story continues in “One Day Less,” which culminates with spider-empowered Pope summoning Mephisto… but to what end, true believers?)
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17 users responded in this post
WHAT??? CHARLOTTE DIES?????
WHERE’S YOUR SPOILER ALERT!?
So how many issues until she returns?
Well, there’s my nightmare fuel for the week.
I was so waiting to see the Pope freak out. THAT would have been history.
I’d read #4 in a heartbeat.
Wait a second… Wouldn’t a Pope be a cleric? They aren’t allowed to have familiars!
He summons Mephisto to undo and make everybody the forget last big jackass Spiderman story.
Best part of all this is that the pope was totally oblivious to it all. There were people squirming in their seats just staring in horror. *lmao*
As for the whole more spiders than usual this autumn. Meh…it just means my step-dad will be even MORE scared to come outside. Me? Eh I’ll just stare at the pretty webs.
Now see, numbers 3 and 4 are why you need to drop this fiddling around with all that law school and making a living nonsense, and devote more energy to getting into the comic biz.
Ambrael, you might want to check the author of the post before you say that.
Hey, being mistaken for His MightyMightyGodness is a great compliment to a humble guestblogger!
guayec: Mea culpa! …also, Wilbur survives.
DistantFred: We may have uncovered a scandal here. Is the Pope… MULTICLASS?
As a fan of DC’s Trickster (the real one, not the humourless punk who stole his gear), Door #3 fills me with indescribable glee.
I’d read #3 and #4…
Piranhtachew Wins!
Flawless Victory!
Dude, that is one cool Pope!
Check, I need more sleep. But I would still totally buy those.
Spider-Pope would at least have the God-damn common sense not to make a deal with the Devil. He’s probably been on the phone to God again, and you know how evangelical that makes him.