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mygif

You forgot ‘Muggle’, a word which in its original context is, like the n-word, is used as a polite term to refer to people seen as inferior to the user (although it originated as the family name of a group of monkeys in Roald Dahl’s “The Twits”).

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mygif

I wondered if anyone would risk the flames to bring that up. But, being a bigoted insult in it’s own right, it probably doesn’t belong on a list of more socially acceptable substitutes.

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mygif

You’re right there. But still worth mentioning while we’re on the subject.

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mygif

There’s always ‘Nargle.’

Or, if you’re a WoWgeek, ‘Naga.’

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mygif

you forgot Ninja. whether used in the positive (“that’s why i love my ninjas, i shed blood for my ninjas” – DMX) or the negative (“fn ninjas up w/a flurry of buckshot” – Ice Cube) ninjas maintains the sylllable count always and basically rhymes.

i credit my good friend cockstrong calhoun with bringing this stroke of genius to the world.

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mygif

I’m a fan of using ‘Nurgle’. And on ‘naga’, it’s a bit too close to ‘nagger’ for my liking. And we all know how that turns out…

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mygif

Of course, ‘Naga’ is derived from a race of talking cobras in Hindu mythology…

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mygif
LightlyFrosted said on October 5th, 2009 at 11:50 am

Hmm… see, looking at your list, I can’t help but be inspired to write alternate rap lyrics which aren’t actually offensive at all, but nevertheless use a word from your list.

“He got the one wing, pissed off some dragon;
“But by the Fellowship, his health was flaggin’;
“Gave to his nephew, some phat loot to be snaggin’s;
“A hobbit from the Shire, that Bilbo Baggins!”

And then the background is someone scratching a record of either Gollum saying “Shire! Baggins!” or of the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

Word.

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mygif
LightlyFrosted said on October 5th, 2009 at 11:57 am

Sorry for the double post, but looking over my previous fairly weak sauce submission, I realised that in fact while my meter was accurate enough, my rhyme scheme sucked. To which I respond, there are very few words that actually rhyme with ‘Baggins’, so step off!

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mygif

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

THIS IS THE REMIIIIX

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mygif

WHASSUP MY IGLOO!!!!

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mygif
Verklemptomaniac said on October 5th, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Sinestro brought us to our knees
My blue ring wanted by Larfleeze
And now all of these damn zombies
Are we finished now? MOGO, PUH-LEEZ

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mygif

I think it’s best for white people just to pretend they didn’t hear naughty words, no matter what rappist said them first.

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mygif

Verklemptomaniac: that was awesome! Consider yourself kissed on the cheek.

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mygif

Mega gonna bust a power buster in yo ass!

White ass Wily think he gonna bust up my hood? I’m gonna get Metal Man on his ass.

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mygif
Sofa King said on October 5th, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Niggler, please!

Ah, hardcore nerdrap. An underappreciated art form.

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mygif

Why don’t you just stick with “Canadian”, like other white people?

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mygif
Illuyankas said on October 5th, 2009 at 3:54 pm

FELLOW OF A MONOCHROMATIC NONWHITE SKIN COLOUR

RHYMING IS FOR LESSER MEN

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mygif

In my crowd, we tend to say “Person of African descent, I beg your pardon?”

I run with an excessively courteous crowd.

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mygif

And, of course, for the phrase the blog post echoes, “Person of African descent, I beseech thee.”

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mygif

I will always treasure the time I caught the second Die Hard movie on basic cable, and got to hear Samuel L. Jackson call Bruce Willis a “racist melon farmer.”

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mygif

Kind of a compliment, really, because melon husbandry isn’t as easy as you might think. Not quite up there with rhubarbs, though.

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mygif

I used to visit an online forum where people used Nikka for a replacement for the n-word…though that maybe easier to write then to say (the kk may sound to close to gg)

But this reminds me of when I was in college and my white room was singing along with a rap song and he went blank and looked at me when the rapper said the n-word and after that bit kept rapping along after the word was said.

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mygif

I’m just trying to find one that fits “Sand” in front of it well.

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mygif
Mary Warner said on October 5th, 2009 at 9:41 pm

This is why I insist people should just go ahead and say whatever words are used in any quote. Making any word the object of superstitious taboo is just insane, and it makes it impossible to deal with the underlying subject (in this case, racism) with any degree of rationality.

N*gger.

Nope. – MGK

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mygif

I have a friend who’s last name is “Nagler” there is occasionally an awkward moment when we shout his name across the room.

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mygif

Now I’m going to start messing up Patty Smith lyrics.

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mygif
Asinine Lad said on October 6th, 2009 at 12:03 am

One could always my favorite that Quantum & Woody was forced to use: nignog

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mygif

In response to Ambrael, I really don’t think you can put “Muggle” in the same realm of inflammatory speech as the other. The word in question is freighted with hundreds of years of racism and pain, while muggle was made up in a fantasy book 15 years ago to demean a class of people that don’t exist in the real world (or that includes everybody, which works out to the same difference.) If anybody seriously gets offended by the word muggle, then frankly, they need to take a step back and realize that Hogwarts doesn’t exist.

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mygif
randomcommenter said on October 6th, 2009 at 4:36 am

I dunno about “Nurgle”. Replacing an offensive word with *the name of a plague god* seems like just making it hyperoffensive. Like replacing the word “jerk” with “fucking asshole”.

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mygif

AL, I thought Quantum and Woody used “noogie”. That’s how I remember it, anyway; it’s been a while.

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mygif

Bosswald:
No, I don’t personally find muggle to be offensive. I find it amusing that nobody ever called Rowling on making up a racial epithet for a series of books for children.

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mygif

While I was pointing out that within the books, it is seen as perfectly acceptable to use that racial epithet even by those who aren’t particularly against the race it describes. Everyone in the wizarding world apparently just assumes that non-wizards are inferior, and therefore it is okay to mind-wipe them, patronise them, and continually refer to them by a racial epithet rather than, say, “People”.

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mygif

Yeah, Quantum and Woody used “noogie” instead. They broke the fourth wall to explain that to the readers and everything.

I don’t know if it’s just that I really hate wangsters, but speaking as an old and terminally unhip white person… I’m uncomfortable with people who aren’t African American quoting anything more “hardcore” or “street” (or whatever the kids say these days) than Rapper’s Delight.

If you must appropriate Black culture, couldn’t you quote blues songs or Bob Marley or jazz standards or something instead? It’s really hard for white people geeking out over rap to not come across like the kid from “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy).”

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mygif

White kids look REAL dumb singing about picking bales of cotton, Dumas.

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mygif

@bfnh

Yup, ninja is OBVIOUSLY the best replacement word. You beat me to it.

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mygif
BitterCupOJoe said on October 8th, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Naga, please.

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mygif
Fred Davis said on October 9th, 2009 at 5:10 am

*facepalm* nignog is an actual racial epithet, equivalent to if not (due to it only being used these days by the more hardcore racist types) a substantially worse one than nigger, and worse, if you sing a song which originally had the word nigger in it, but replaced nigger with nignog, you have just made the song over 9000% more racist than it originally was.

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mygif

Naga only words in print, when speaking it’s way too close, especially if you’re saying around people who aren’t familiar with WoW.

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