DistantFred: What did you do before you were a law student?
I wandered the backwoods of Saskatchewan, preying on wild game and howling at the moon.
No, wait. Not that.
John Pontoon: You should write about your fantasy baseball league that you started and then ignored because you picked a crap team. The league that I won. I demand credit for this irrelevant accomplishment.
(to the tune of the “Warner Brothers theme”)
HOORAY FOR JOHN PONTOON
HE ISN’T A RACCOON
HE EATS FRENCH FRIES
KNOWS BASEBALL GUYS
AND SITS IN A LAGOON! HEY!
Dystel: What kind of Pie is best?
For eating main-dish, shepherd’s pie. For eating for dessert, strawberry rhubarb pie. For eating main-dish when all you have is dessert pies, sweet potato pie. For taking into battle against evil cyborg armies, Gauss-cannon pie with chocolate frosting. For defeating a third-tier supervillain, Hostess snack pie. For negotiating with a ninja, pear gelee pie. For bribing a third world official, apple pie with crumble topping (not pastry topping – that would be an insult). For calculating the value of pi, a bowl of lemon meringue with no crust. For winning an election in France, raspberry-blueberry pie with clotted cream on top. For defeating a shark, peach pie. For defeating a cyber-shark, pecan pie. For defeating a cyber-were-shark, cheddar cheese pie. And for defeating a vampire cyber-mecha-were-shark, Godzilla pie, made with freshest Godzilla.
lance lunchmeat: Ever check out Sonic the Hedgehog comics?
I would but they go by too fast! HEY-OHHHHHH!
Cookie McCool: Baking recipes and kittens?
6 tbsp softened unsalted butter
2 tbsp vegetable shortening or lard
1 cup unbleached flour
1/4 cup light brown sugar (packed)
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
ground nuts of some sort as per preference
fruity jam as per preference
Cream together butter and shortening with sugar. Separate the egg, add the yolk and the vanilla to the mix. Add the flour and salt. Roll the resulting dough into 1-inch balls. Whisk the egg white in a bowl until it’s a foam. Dip the balls in the egg, then roll them through the crushed nuts. Bake at 350F for three minutes. Take them out. With your thumb, squish an indentation in each ball so it lays flat and has a sort of mini-bowl in it. Bake for another 7=8 minutes or until they’re lightly browned. Spoon jam into the mini-bowls of the cookies. Wait as long as is humanly possible to eat. (My record is five minutes.)
JQ_NW_American: How’d you meet your wife?
It’s a long story involving her only existing as such in potentiality and all. I suppose this means I get to pick, though! So I will say “while dodging the meteors whose strikes upon the earth signalled the return of magic to the world and the New Age Of Humanity.”
Also I get to be the king.
Edgar Allan Poe: I want some serious talk about Daredevil.
DAREDEVIL RAPED YOUR MOM.
Fifthsurprise: What is your zombie plan?
1.) Realize zombies are fictional
2.) Eat cake