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No love for the Libras?

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Man, if only all horoscopes were this entertaining.

…I smell a sitcom!

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Paul Wilson said on December 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am

I swear, if I die in the next six days I will drag my newly-incoporeal ass across the Atlantic and haunt you MGK!

And I won’t be no friendly ghost either. I’ll be a surly, semi-drunk Scottish ghost.

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Wow! I’m Aquarius and I LOVE Cobb Salad! How do you DO THAT?!?!?!

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Looks like Libras got excluded.

Of course, this could be because MGK knows Libras are the Rex the Wonder Dog of astrology signs, and thus above what petty newspaper columns, fictional or otherwise, may say about them.

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As a fellow Pisces, I’m required to say “Sorry, you aren’t our type.” And “Not if you were the last horoscope on the internet.”

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Libra power! Clearly the news was so good he didn’t want to jinx it.

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reminds me of marty chang

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Thousands of Libra’s cry together this morning.

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As a Libra, I am mildly disappointed.

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Clearly all of the Libra’s were already killed by what’s going to hit Taurus next week.

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Thok: “I’m not dead yet.”

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This was great.

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Maybe MGK is a Libra! I mean he wouldn’t want to anger the universe and print a fake horoscope about himself.

That’s asking for it.

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RE: Leo

Done, and done.

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MarvinAndroid said on December 2nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm

The secret here, for all you Libras, is that YOU DON’T HAVE A FUTURE! At 6 o’clock this evening the sign of Libra vanishes from the sky. With it, everyone born under that sign.

Either that or I, as a Taurus, am going to ensure that I am standing next to a group of Libras six days from now. Could go either way.

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The thing is that Libra was in earlier drafts and then somehow disappeared and I never noticed it. Must have been a misclick incident of some kind. Anyway, it’s back in now.

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Leo. I did everything, right down to the letter, and now I have herpes.

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Geez. Cassandra’s bitter this morning.

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Sounds like SOMEONE couldn’t pass their Series 7 exam.

~ Pir-Linda-chew

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I knew it!

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As an Aquarius I am mildly offended and highly amused!

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Eric TF Bat said on December 2nd, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Fortunately, my starsign is Gahoolie The Vase Of Tulips (on the cusp with The Small Boring Group Of Faint Stars) so none of this applies to me.

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as a Taurus i’m mildly frightened

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Wait, flavored gin, really? Ick. Fuck the future, man.

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Man. I got off easy.

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Mary Warner said on December 3rd, 2009 at 1:31 am

I don’t get it. How is this any more ridiculous than any other astrological column?

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I’m assembling an army of fellow Taurii, and we’re taking you down with us. No hard feelings. (Please please let it be a falling piano)

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Once again my sign ignores the fact that I am the outcast, except when it comes to blading. Curses.

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I know you don’t mean to be nasty. Your stars made you do it!

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Evil Abraham Lincoln said on December 8th, 2009 at 9:03 pm

I am not a genital sore and I’ve never woken up to the horror of having genital sores. Otherwise, good job.

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