See sale on Steam.
Purchase Max Payne and Max Payne 2 because they are cheap and I like those games and wouldn’t mind playing them again.
Games do not work.
Go on Steam forums. Look for patches/issue fixes. Attempt fixes. Games still do not work.
Uninstall. Download warez copies of games. Install them. Games work fine.
(Well, at least I paid for them, I guess.)