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mygif

I, too, have been known to call ties portable nooses. Never thought of the Dahmer analogy, though.

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mygif

When I was young, the way the Hardy Boys’ ties billowed behind them as they ran made me want to wear a tie. So did the Romita drawing of Peter Parker tying his tie just before meeting Mary Jane for the first time.

And then I grew up and realised the reality of ties. Oh pop culture, how did you lie!

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mygif

Plus, there’s the whole “Giant arrow pointing at my crotch, just to make sure you understand I am A Man” thing.

Fortunately, my current job doesn’t require me to wear ties. Also, I know how to tie a bow tie, so the day I get a job where ties are required is the day I start wearing tuxedos to work.

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mygif

If the wind is a major factor, may I suggest tie clips, or would that up the schmuck factor too much?

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mygif

I too prefer casual wear. That’s how I ended up working at Walmart, though, so there’s that.

You could always wear tie-clips for the wind problem, though. Or wear sturdier ties. Those big seventies jobbers probably wouldn’t move in most wind.

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mygif

Obviously, you want to invest in a tie clip.

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mygif

I take it you haven’t heard of tie tacks, then? Or tie clips?

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1. while eating, just tuck the tie into your shirt (or, buy ties for $1.50 at thrift stores and not worry about it, or don’t eat soup or pasta)

2. At least you don’t have to wear a wig.

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Cookie McCool said on September 23rd, 2010 at 12:26 pm

http://www.beautiesltd.com has many ties that make me wish I were a man so that I could wear them. And you can get Batman tie tacks. You should just suck it up and learn to love accessorizing. Then again, I couldn’t stand to work at a job where I had to wear actual shoes that cover up my toes. Not being able to see my toes sucks!

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mygif

Tie pins, tie clips, tie bars, tie chains– there’s a whole industry surrounding keeping ties down.

I used to dislike being made wearing ties, and back in high school, I started intentionally wearing ugly ties by way of revenge– on the theory of “If you’re going to make me wear a tie, I’m going to wear something that makes you wish I didn’t.”

Over time, this turned into something much more challenging– finding ties that will technically pass muster at work (e.g. no obscenities) but clash with themselves, or cause pseudo-Moire effects when you shift position, or are so brightly colored that just looking at it wakes you up, or are way out-dated in style, or all of the above. (A few of them push so far they go through the wormhole and end up actually somewhat stylish and garner compliments when I wear them.)

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mygif

@Thornae: Bow ties are cool.

If I had to choose between ties and the medieval torture devices that women wear to the office on their feet, I’d choose ties every time.

*nurses perpetual blisters*

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mygif

I use a tie chain. Let’s the tie flow a little better than clips, and it’s a flag so I look totally patriotic.

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Mary Warner said on September 23rd, 2010 at 2:03 pm

You could wear a string tie. Then at least you’d look like a cowboy.
So what would happen if you just showed up in court without a tie? Would they really do anything? Would it result in a mistrial? (That could be advantageous someday.)
I know if I were on a jury and one of the lawyers had no tie that would definitely swing me in his favour. As Billy Connoly once pointed out, people always wear ties when they’re planning to lie a lot.
I’ve never worn a tie ever, as far as I can recall. But I guess it’s easier for some of us to get away with than others. But I can sympathise; I have a deep visceral hatred of anything that’s obligatory for no reason.

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Makeshift_Robot said on September 23rd, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Also man a vest or a sweater would keep that sucker down no problem.

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FifthSurprise said on September 23rd, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Better than a tie clip, use some fishing line to attach your tie to your shirt.

“What’s keeping that tie from moving around?”

“Fear of legal reprecussions”

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mygif

I’m reasonably sure most female lawers don’t wear ties. Am I wrong?

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@ Mathew Murray: From the movies I’ve seen, it’s usually all they wear. But maybe I’m watching the wrong sort of movie.

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Cookie McCool said on September 23rd, 2010 at 5:11 pm

They usually wear stilettos too, Chris. Why didn’t you look all the way down?

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mygif

@Mary: It would depend on the Judge, but it wouldn’t be a mistrial. It MIGHT be contempt (see My Cousin Vinny, which is the favorite law-related movie of almost every lawyer I know)

A judge is tasked with keeping order in the courtroom, and has some leeway to do just that. A bailiff enforces that order. That’s why the bailiff is armed.

I’ve heard stories of Judges that have contempt “fines” for cell phones for lawyers. $50.00 the first time it goes off. $500 times for the second. $5,000 for the third.

You get the idea.

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mygif

You could intentionally wear unfashionable or mildly clashing ties as a protest. Also, bolo ties are the best solution. Maybe invest in an ascot.

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mygif

I used to dislike ties.

Then I bought a proper shirt that fitted my neck properly.

Suddenly the tie was comfortable, and I liked ties.

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mygif

Yeah, there are lots of ways to pin down a regular tie. I saw some people mention bow ties also; they’re not for everyone, but I personally look pretty good in bow ties, and wear them all the time. Not sure how they would fly in a courtroom, but maybe worth looking into because they genuinely are much less of a hassle to wear.

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mygif

Well, since we’re at the bottom of the comments now, I’ll just say: Let us know how the tie clip works out.

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Mary Warner said on September 24th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

How about wearing a spinning clown bow tie as a protest?

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Greg Morrow said on September 24th, 2010 at 2:36 pm

A vest for that three-piece suit look would keep that tie in place. Also help keep you warm in the stereotypically frozen North.

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mygif

Is the Tie really that much more demeaning than the Court Robes that you may one day be forced to wear?

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Ties do not strangle; too-small shirt collars do.

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mygif

Man, I love your Flapjacks posts. And I’m adding my vote to wearing a vest. Isn’t Toronto supposedly already freezing?
@ladypeyton, one word: Flats. There’re styles that are just as classy as heels and are approximately nine hundred times more comfortable to work in. I stopped wearing heels about 4 years ago and never looked back.

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