26

Mar

Dilton Doiley Has A Sex Doll.

Posted by MGK  Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics

I’m not kidding.

This is not a Photoshop.

..yeah, he’s gonna die alone.

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the man has robot girlfriends (tripp millican) | madeofglass said on March 26th, 2008 at 9:37 am

[...] mightygodking posts about dilton doiley (a minor Archie comics character) having a sex doll. It’s on the brain today, clearly. Tags: computer, nerd, science, sex, weird post a [...]

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Gary said on March 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am

Do you think the second panel is meant to illustrate the type of problem he’s talking about?

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Bitsy said on March 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am

I’ve been trying for five minutes to come up with something witty about this.

All I can think of is, “PLASTIC PASSION FLOWER?!?!”

I might have to rename my never-before-renamed journal that.

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Mister Terrific said on March 26th, 2008 at 10:44 am

This reminds me of the old joke about the madam who had to let her girls go due to the high cost of upkeep; in desperation she bought three inflatable dolls–a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

Everything went very well for a time and she actually started making money one day, until the day she found one of her johns sitting on the bed in utter bewilderment. She asked him what happened, and he replied, “Well, it was getting really good, and I got excited so I bit her on the breast. Next thing I knew she farted, flew around the room twice and jumped out the window!”

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JediTigger said on March 26th, 2008 at 10:52 am

Oh, holy crap. Hahahahahahahaha.

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Bunnyofdoom said on March 26th, 2008 at 11:55 am

I saw the words Archie and Photoshop, and then realized it’s not a new improved archie. Thanks for crushing my dreams. Again.

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OddKing said on March 26th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I remember reading this one as a kid, so I can vouch for its authenticity.

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SmR said on March 26th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

My first thought when I read this post was, Dilton’s last name is Doiley???
Anyway, I object to the use of the term “sex doll” – she is an inflatable girlfriend, a plastic passion flower! Dilton even cared enough for her to find her a cute purple dress to cover up her ladythings. And matching shoes. I sense a “Dilton and the Real Girl” story development.
But, yeah, I’m going to agree with the general sentiment of What the hell???

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Josh R said on March 26th, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Yup, I remember that story. Despite my best efforts and a significant amount of medication, I remember that story.

Thanks a whole bunch…

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C. Carter said on March 27th, 2008 at 1:27 am

What. The. Hell.

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Quinctia said on March 27th, 2008 at 4:03 am

Misleading title.

Dilton HAD a sex doll!

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Lopez said on March 27th, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Another Title Suggestion: “Dilton Doiley: Litterbug.”

I guess since the sky is yellow, he’s letting his “Plastic Passion Flower” fly off into the sunset… Seriously, though. How messed up would it be if you found that lying outside on your lawn when you’re 6 years old?

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Ryan said on March 28th, 2008 at 1:27 am

Man, I so want to rewrite this as a “dark,” “edgy” “graphic novel” called In Every Dream Home A Heartache. Art by Dave McKean, of course.

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Katzedecimal said on March 29th, 2008 at 12:26 am

Archie Comics are completely wholesome and good for children and do not perpetuate stereotypes about nerds or other socially-marginalized persons and would never ever ever implant strange ideas about RealDolls (not like that bizarre and unwholesome Legion of Super Heroes comic , but then everybody knows DC can’t be trusted with your child’s fragile psyche.) (Learned-by-necessity LJ-warning: That was sarcasm. )

……actually, looking at Dilton’s disco duds there, I wonder if this occurred at about the same time o.O;;;;

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Fishcakes said on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:01 pm

I think I had this one when I was little; my grandma would buy tons of old comics at yard sales and give them to me, and there was a bunch of Archie and various Harvey comics. I remember finding this story a bit weird even when I was eight or so, and now it just makes me giggle because I have a filthpit for a mind.

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sex said on April 12th, 2008 at 4:39 am

Oh, holy crap. Hahahahahahahaha.

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Let’s Put On A Show! » Blog Archive » Campbell said on April 25th, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[...] at it. Those old comics certainly had their lurid, sexist, and racist elements. But then, so did Archie Comics (and that’s just a wacky post. You should see the stuff in the licensed Archie Christian [...]

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gorge said on May 11th, 2008 at 7:01 am

vraimment laidron

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Coarkarffub said on December 19th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

friend has given the link has not regretted that has come

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