Best not come to battle because if you battle me
You’re gonna suffer a fucking bat-astrophe
Kal-El, what the hell, you wanna get in a fight
Fucker step off or I’ll synthesize Kryptonite
Diana, I wanna introduce my Batpole
To every one of your wonderful Wonder-holes
Green Lanterns? Fuck you, you’re alla you overpaid
I’ll beat you with daffodils, beat you with lemonade
Martian Manhunter’s tough, so I’ll light a Bat-Match,
Smoke a cigar and I’ll make him my bat-byatch
And the Flash? He runs fast, but you know he can’t handle me
I’ll just activate Anti-Flash Bat-Plan Twenty-Three
Aquaman, he’s a joke, you know he ain’t tough enough
Let him sit back till I want me some dolphin muff
Even Aquaman’s fishes, they know I bat-vicious
The League are my bitches, they do as I wishes
Cause if I don’t want it the bad guys will never win
Down ‘em like House downs a handful of Vicodin
Lex Luthor, Ra’s Al Ghul, or even Per Degaton
They all the worst and I be the “better than”
Battle neverending you know that I fight it
My victories endless, you cannot deny it
Cause they dead y’all, and they dead y’all
My parents are muhfuckin dead y’all
(repeat last two lines until Batman breaks down crying in front of parents’ graves)
Top comment: Word to your momma. And your papa. Who are dead. – Dregoth
Related Articles
17 users responded in this post
*chokes with awesome*
Word to your momma. And your papa. Who are dead.
Per Degaton could so easily beat Batman by going forward until his identity is a matter of public record (or until some member of the JLA/Outsiders becomes a broken hobo), then going back in time and kicking Joe Chill in the face 10 minutes before the end of Zorro.
In before someone makes this an actual song.
With a music video.
I thought this was going to be lame, but instead it was awesome.
GOOD JOB!
Step away from the computer….
is the title to this “Tower of Babel?” And I’m glad the “Wonder-holes” don’t get renamed the “Bat Cave.”
Does he drop the Batmic after he finishes sobbing?
Genius
I fully expect this to actually happen – thats how the internets works isn’t it?
Heeeeeeeeeee.
Well, just when I think I’ve seen it all.
This is one of those times when I wish there was that big ‘go forth and make it for me’ button so that I could sit back and watch the glory of New Frontier footage dubbed with this lyrical apocalypse.
The Death of Gwen Stacy
I’m the motherfucking
Spider-M-A-N.
One day I was
fighting the
Green Goblin.
Fucker kidnapped
my girlfriend, Gwen.
He threw my bitch
off the Brooklyn Bridge.
I caught her ass
with a web-line thwip,
but her neck snapped,
so I went on the attack.
Dazed and abused,
I drove the Goblin back.
Seeing Gwen dead
got me unhinged.
Fuck Uncle Ben,
I wanted revenge!
Not too long later,
Goblin versus Spider,
Norman got impaled
on his goblin-glider.
As his breath
started to fade,
Gobby said,
“They’ll bring me back
in a few decades.”
That’s a day in the life
of Peter Parker,
so outta my way,
or it’s thwip thwip,
motherfucker!
I wonder if I should change Norman’s dialogue to “I’ll rule the world / in a few decades.”
Further sucka MCs, please step up to be beat down by Batman. His parents are muhfuckin dead.
Very nice work.
You’ve made it to /co/ btw
Wonder-holes? Classic. I smell a new derogatory term for a Wonder Woman/ Wonder Whore analogy!
The whitest man on Earth doing black music?
Perfect for Square Root Day:
http://fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/happy-square-root-day/
Round pegs for the win.
Oh man, this was just going along until *boom* the last line and the “repeat last two lines until Batman breaks down crying in front of parents’ graves.” Well played!