1.) Be Tougher Than The Toughies And Smarter Than The Smarties
2.) Criminals Are Very Concerned About The Law
3.) Dam Technology Is An Ever-Advancing Arms Race
4.) When In Doubt, Barter
5.) Australia Has A Lot Of Precious Metal Just Lying Around
6.) Watches Are Overrated
7.) The Junior Woodchucks’ Guide Book Is Never, Ever Wrong
8.) And Surprisingly Comprehensive
9.) No, We Mean It: Comprehensive
10.) Fish Hate Horseradish
11.) Positive Inducement Works Better Than Torture When Questioning Captives
12.) Bushels Of Nuggets In Baskets Of Woven Gold!
13.) Free-Market Economics Can Ruin Even The Most Innocent Of People
14.) All Professors Everywhere Wear Mortarboards
15.) Epic Pie Fights Are Only Prevented By Judicious Use Of The Mutually Assured Destruction Theory
16.) Cops Are Surprisingly Cool About Their Personal Space
17.) A Store Bereft Of Labels? Why, That’s Worse Than Setting The Whole Place On Fire!
18.) Rocks Do Not Wear Neckties
19.) Unless They Are Living Rock-People Things, Then It’s Cool
20.) Carl Barks Waxed Philosophic On Occasion
21.) Sometimes From Humble Beginnings Are Mighty Story Elements Created
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30 users responded in this post
No life lesson about the dangers of succumbing to peer pressure just because you see someone else do something recklessly dangerous that looks like it might be fun?
I see that you have Only a Poor Old Man in there!
You could’ve gone for 10)-21)We really mean it: Comprehensive
Where would Uncle Scrooge be on the Rex scale?
Having read all the original comics, I’m guessing 98-99%, up there with Superman & Batman.
Only a Poor Old Man is seriously my vote for best comic book story ever.
I’m happy to say I’ve read most of these, but there’s definitely a few that are new to me–the gillman professor (?) and the origin of Scrooge’s first dime, in particular.
Prankster, you should totally pick up a copy of “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”
Hmm, now that you mention it, a grocery store that loses the labels off its cans probably would prefer a fire–you can collect insurance if your products burn, after all.
Seriously, the Junior Woodchuck’s Guide Book is the Hitchhiker’s Guide of Duckburg, except useful. Also, my family used to have an old (’50s? ’60s?) Canadian scout handbook that was for all intents and purposes the Junior Woodchuck’s Guide. Everything from how to survive in the wilderness with a pocketknife to the proper application of stage makeup. Very comprehensive.
‘There are too many masters in the world already, and not enough friends.’
This may be my new favourite quote of all time.
Clearly, the logical next step is to produce a highly derivative hip-hop band called “Onion Zoop”.
“Onion Zoop” albums are just CD-R’s containing a torrent of “The E.N.D.”
I want my very own giant magnifying glass.
Fergie was in The Onion Zoop, right?
long have i wondered what the next by-chance reference here would become the next “rex the wonder dog” level of “what?” to new commenters.
i think “onion zoop” is it.
go zoop!
That is not a four-in-hand. That is an ascot. A four-in-hand is the standard, smallest knot used to tie regular ol’ long neckties.
There’s a tasteless joke waiting to be made in the instructions for grasping slick objects. I’m not going to make it, I just wanted to be the one who pointed out it was there.
I am thoroughly ignorant of old-school Uncle Scrooge comics. Could somebody explain to me the significance of Only A Poor Old Man?
It’s from the first issue of Uncle Scrooge’s solo title, and it’s the story that established him as the Disney line’s premier badass. It also introduced his long-running Coyote-Roadrunner relationship with the Beagle Boys, and introduced his famous catchphrase “You don’t fuck with McDuck.”
I may be lying about one of these points.
most of the jokes have been made, but I’ll pile on.
I can’t tell the difference between onion zoop and the Black Eyed Peas either.
I find this highly interesting because I work for P&P, (mergers and aquisitions).
Isn’t that a shoe store?
The first panel would not be out of place in a Scorcese movie.
I loved Duck Tales but I never read the Uncle Scrooge comic, are there trades anyway can recommend?
@ Ken B3: “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”
“The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck” is a great read, but even more entry-level are the “Carl Barks’ Greatest Ducktales Stories” books that Disney published, which are basically best-of-Barks volumes. Solid gold.
I bet that the Junior Woodchuck’s Guide Book correctly differentiates between an ascot and a four-in-hand.
Uncle Scrooge rox and is very educational! Without him I wouldn’t know so much about the various gold rush’s that he was at….Life and Times of Uncle Scrooge! FTW!
“The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck” is fun and all, but it’s a retroactive bit of continuity wank by a next-generation fanboy (one who is not untalented himself, of course). Nevertheless, it should not be your first introduction to the real, original Duck stories by Carl Barks–just as “Crisis on Infinite Earths” should not be your first Superman comic.
Basically just read anything you can get your hands on by Carl Barks, particularly the more adventure-oriented stories (there’s actually an Uncle Scrooge story that was a major influence on Raiders of the Lost Ark, to name one).
Only a Poor Old Man is seriously my vote for best comic book story ever.
“And I like to dive around in my money like a porpoise! And burrow through it like a gopher! And toss it up and let it hit me on the head!”
Awesome.
I assumed that “carl barks” was that old duck guy who was also an analogue of Carl Marx. He’s a real person?
I love how the cops in 16 all have the exact same “You’re screwed” smirk.
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