I have decided that I am gonna start up my own life-hacking website, wherein I will teach people to do things in different ways than they previously did them! (I am not doing this to raise funds to change my name because I am afraid of Steven Seagal. We have chatted, and he is cool. Well, his answering machine message said nothing about murdering me, so I assume we are cool. STEVEN SEAGAL: if you are reading this and we are cool, please leave a comment saying we are cool or not cool.)
For example, here is the Flapjacks Band-Aid Hack. Are you tired of paying through the nose for brand-name finger bandages? Do you ceaselessly writhe in the grip of Big Finger Bandage? If so, then follow these instructions!
1.) You will need: scotch tape, sterilized gauze, a bleeding wound of some kind
2.) Put sterilized gauze on bleeding wound. (If you want to make this hack even hackier what you can do instead of buying sterilized gauze is to buy cotton balls and rubbing alcohol, sterilize the cotton balls with the rubbing alcohol, then use that instead. SUPERHACK!)
3.) Wrap scotch tape around gauze. PRESTO! You have just made your very own Hacker Bandage!
And that is only one of millions of hacks I have created! Also there is the Flapjacks Make Dishtowels Out Of Your Old Sheets Hack,, the Flapjacks Housing Insulation From Old Dishtowels That Used To Be Old Sheets Hack, the Flapjacks How To Fill Out Insurance Forms When Your Homemade Insulation Catches Fire Hack, and many others. You will hack your way to a cheaper, more efficient you in six weeks or your money back! (Assuming you can prove in a court of law that you put sufficient effort into your hacking. I mean, come on, I expect you to WANT it.)
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12 users responded in this post
We’ll be in touch.
What Steven Seagal means is, “I would be happy to provide you with a bleeding wound of some kind. We’ll be in touch.”
Thanks, I definitely needed you to clarify what I meant.
We have just gotten a wake-up call from the Nintendo Generation.
what the hell?
If I follow your steps for life hacking will I be required to speak in leet? I don’t think saving a few bucks on bandages and insulation is worth dealing with 7h1$ (r4p.
Sorry, Mr. Seagal.
But then the sterilised gauze will stick to your cut and rip the scab right off, slowing healing and sending us all back to the arms of Johnson & Johnson and their corporate products. Are you a Big Corporation Shill in disguise? You need to steal a non-stick dressing from your nearest doctor’s office, THEN use the tape over it.
Nah, ignore the cotton!
The true cheap (and smart) way to do it is folded toilet paper, then tape. As is said before, cotton sticks to the scap. The toilet paper however is so fragile that once the bleeding has stopped, the parts that have been stuck to it tear away without hurting the scab, leaving a nice secure seal of clotted blood and fiber to seal the wound.
Also, in most cases a disinfectant is not needed if the wound is cleaned first. That’s the important bit. Clean it off under the tap, maybe with a bit of soap as well, dry it off and then apply the paper.
Seriously, this is better than band aids. I never buy band aids anymore…
What kind of pussy cleans a bleedy wound?
Chris, this is just your attempt to develop a Giblets, isn’t it?
Flapjack rules!