Jan

Improved Archie Ultra-Lite

Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics, Interactive Fun Time Party

Hello? HELLOOOOO? Mister Chimney Goblin?

The Improved Archie’s Fear (May 13th, 2014)
Improved Archie: The Ragin’ Climax (April 8th, 2014)
Archie Comics: The Improved Story (March 11th, 2014)
Who’s Afraid of Improved Archie? (January 30th, 2014)
Fifty Improvements of Archie (December 3rd, 2013)

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Joe Mama said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:08 am

Oooo . . . that explains the smell. Sorry, Santa!

PaulW said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:10 am

Okay Betty, I cleaned your stack…!

Odd King said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:12 am

Mom! If you don’t turn up the gas, I’m tying a noose!

Sage Freehaven said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:15 am

…and if I do this, I get part of the Mega Millions jackpot?

Odd King said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:16 am

Noah! I want you to build a boat that can fit EVERYBODY! When Spring comes we’re all going to head down to the Caribbean! It’ll be wild man! We can be total ANIMALS!

buzz said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:25 am

Well, here’s the problem: It’s full of reindeer crap.

Carlos said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:33 am

Why am I thinking about Veronica?

utter_scoundrel said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:43 am

I think its time we staged an intervention for Jughead and his auto-erotic asphyxiation addiction…

Jason said on January 5th, 2011 at 10:14 am

“Now I know what Ronnie’s gynecologist is like!”

Sorry about the obvious joke . . . if there was a hacksaw present, there would be something reminiscent of a Robot Chicken bit, which (sadly) I cannot seem to find at the moment.

Stig said on January 5th, 2011 at 10:25 am

“Funny story, Betty, but my house is actually NEXT door…now, Betty, don’t pick up that burning log, I’m coming to get you…”

–

“Okay, if I turn around and the sky is blue, these fumes aren’t hallucinogenic and Jughead gets off scott-free!”

phredd said on January 5th, 2011 at 11:05 am

Hey Santa! It’s Giuliani time!

Die Macher said on January 5th, 2011 at 11:07 am

“AAAAGH!!!!… IT’S GOT M-MY FACE… IT’S G-GOT… M-M-MY…. F-F-AAAAACE………”

Odd King said on January 5th, 2011 at 11:19 am

This doesn’t taste like gingerbread at all.

Prodigal said on January 5th, 2011 at 11:24 am

“I’m still not sure that ‘Phoebe Cates is playing your daughter’ is a good reason to do this…”

Tales to Enrage said on January 5th, 2011 at 1:25 pm

THE ARCHIE BEAST HAS COME FOR YOUR SOULS, CHILDREN. PRAYERS TO YOUR DEAD SANTA WILL DO NOTHING TO STOP ME.

Andy said on January 5th, 2011 at 1:55 pm

RALLLLLLLLLLLLPH!
MALLLLLLLLLLLLPH!

chris said on January 5th, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Fuck. I just killed Tim Allen.

GoatToucher said on January 5th, 2011 at 5:38 pm

“HWWOOOOOORF!

starscream369 said on January 5th, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I’ll never get this right in time for the show, is it “Round the chimney” next or is it back to “Never need a reason, never need a rhyme?”

Odd King said on January 5th, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I’ve caught you at last, house.

Joe England said on January 5th, 2011 at 6:51 pm

“And you’ll stay down there ’till you die!”

MarvinAndroid said on January 5th, 2011 at 6:58 pm

“Productiveness is your acceptance of morality, your recognition of the fact that you choose to live-that productive work is the process by which man’s consciousness controls his existence, a constant process of acquiring knowledge and shaping matter to fit one’s purpose, of translating an idea into physical form, of remaking the earth in the image of one’s values-that all work is creative work if done by a thinking mind, and no work is creative if done by a blank who repeats in uncritical stupor a routine he has learned from others- that your work is yours to choose, and the choice is as wide as your mind, that nothing more is possible to you and nothing less is human-that to cheat your way into a job bigger than your mind can handle is to become a fear-corroded ape on borrowed motions and borrowed time, and to settle down into a job that requires less than your mind’s full capacity is to cut your motor and sentence yourself to another kind of motion: decay-that your work is the process of achieving your values, and to lose your ambition for values is to lose your ambition to live-that your body is a machine, but your mind is its driver, and you must drive as far as your mind will take you, with achievement as the goal of your road-that the man who has no purpose is a machine that coasts downhill at the mercy of any boulder to crash in the first chance ditch, that the man who stifles his mind is a stalled machine slowly going to rust, that the man who lets a leader prescribe his course is a wreck being towed to the scrap heap, and the man who makes another man his goal is a hitchhiker no driver should ever pick up-that your work is the purpose of your life, and you must speed past any killer who assumes the right to stop you, that any value you might find outside your work, any other loyalty or love, can be only travelers you choose to share your journey and must be travelers going on their own power in the same direction.”

Dammit, Archie! Stop shouting Ayn Rand passages into people’s houses!

Rian Fike said on January 5th, 2011 at 9:19 pm

MGK, I have taken this idea into my classroom:

http://sketchcardsaloon.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/kids-draw-the-darndest-things/

Third grade genius FTW.

Katzedecimal said on January 6th, 2011 at 8:51 am

“…..Christ, what an asshole!”

(somebody hadda say it..)

Die Macher said on January 6th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

“Wow, when Reggie invited me over to lick the soot off his chimney, this is NOT what I imagined!
… because what I imagined was that Reggie had taken Jughead from behind and he wanted me to orally remove the feces from his engorged man-wood.”

Rory said on January 6th, 2011 at 1:04 pm

“J-just saw W-weatherbee go d-down on Mrs G-grundy…. BBLLLOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Eric S. Smith said on January 6th, 2011 at 11:00 pm

“Stay inside, gang! The icing sugar fallout from Dilton’s candyland bomb is real thick!”

spikebrennan said on January 7th, 2011 at 9:39 am

Well, I’ll huff and I’ll puff…

Packerchu said on January 9th, 2011 at 2:59 am

“WAAH~CHOO!” “Sorry, just caught the flue.”

Improved Archie Ultra-Lite

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